Celebrating (and criticizing) The Villains of Pokémon! (Just the games)

This year, 2021, is the 25th Anniversary of the Pokémon franchise. As with practically everyone else in my age group, I have a connection and history with the games and also the anime. Even when there isn’t an anniversary I enjoy reminiscing about my past with Pokémon and talking about my present and future with Pokémon. Some of the games I love to their core, some I honestly just think are okay with some very clever concepts or ideas, and even the one I really didn’t like still had some unique takes.

I think the biggest element, at the very least one of them anyway, that showcases both the strengths and the weaknesses of the series writing and immersion is the villainous groups you encounter and defeat as the protagonist. Sometimes the game has a great villain, one who sticks with you, one you are proud to say you defeated and whom you can’t help thinking about among many other video games baddies. Then there’s the complete clunkers, villains whom failed at depth or true motivation, felt flat on arrival and never became any better, but that admittedly you do can’t forget at the very least.

From the would-be fascists, to the organized gangsters, to the phoney animal rights groups, to the environmental extremists, to the juvenile delinquents. Evil is all over the map in the world of Pokémon and just like with Disney villains, these characters are a market all their own and thoroughly worth dissecting. So, let’s do so. Let’s look at them under categories instead of purely individually to save a bit of time and to help out some of the lesser characters. Some of them are my all time favorites, some are examples I’d use for what not to do.

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- The Several Rockets -


Team Rocket is unavoidable in a Pokémon character discussion, whether or not you are focusing on just the villains. In some ways I’d argue this is even more true for the anime (which I will also be tackling the villains of), but to say they didn’t leave an impact on the games core formula would be a lie. If we never had Team Rocket, there wouldn’t be villains in these games. The original Red and Blue/Green is known today for still changing the world yet aging differently for many, and one of those ways is that the story is notably lacking. I’ll admit I only ever played the remake Fire Red, but as someone who’d started with Gold and Silver and constantly played Ruby and Emerald, it is clear there’s less of a focus on a true overarching narrative in the first games compared to gens 2 and onward but the sense of adventure itself works as a story, especially for immersion as the characters are given simple yet effective elements to connect to.

Team Rocket in Fire Red does feel a bit lacking in some regards because of this, they don’t really seem to have an overall plan and are just doing whatever they feel like as criminals. Not that this really is a bad thing, as the game is more in the slightly-forgotten genre of adventure, having meandering villains whom you still constantly come across do work to help sell that sense of going on a great journey. The manga and the anime do flesh out more of Boss Giovanni’s true goals, but as a criminal enterprise whom just so happens do be a gym leader is a good way to make just another boss fight feel more connected to the player’s journey, you get a final showdown with a character you’ve been directly fighting already, capping off both that part of the story and preparing you for the final stretch in the same blow. While the villains tended to get much more involved in following games, Team Rocket as a whole still gave players a unique NPC to battle against, where the stakes were higher and the chance for heroism could be felt.

Red Rockets.png

In fact, Team Rocket themselves became villains with more story than Team Rocket!

In Gold and Silver, Giovanni is stated to have just vanished and the organization is in dismay. They refuse to disband, instead, they are doing even dirtier deeds in an attempt to convince Giovanni to come back. The shift is noticeable when looking back-to-back. To give credit of course, in the first game a member does murder a Marowak off-screen, and it’s the darkest action any character commits in the game. As for Gold and Silver:

They cut off Slowpoke tails to sell them as goods while keeping the Pokémon alive and imprisoned, they mess with the radio frequencies around the Lake of Rage to drive the local Pokémon into a violent frenzy and forcibly evolve them to make them more profitable, and said signals are created with a group of Electrods they are clearly abusing in order to make them stressed and angry. Money and power were mentioned in the first games, but their sequels make it very clear those are the two things Team Rocket cares about, and lack any empathy for anything they could use to gain said money or power.

Along with the spike in evil actions we also gained a bit more character. The Rockets hierarchy ended up being given names, and the remakes Soul Silver and Heart Gold even gave them more unique designs and screen time. Petrel, Archer, Ariana, and Proton are now remembered characters specifically for these entries. Some were in the original versions, some even had a mention in the very first games, but fans remember Soul Silver and Heart Gold’s Rocket Executives for their cool designs and personalities. In some ways, Team Rocket is a more powerful team with Giovanni gone, since these four truly took charge.

rainbow rockets.png

Although after Ultra Sun and Moon, I can’t finish speaking about Team Rocket without mentioning Rainbow Rocket. Sadly, I can’t talk about it too much, as while I bought Ultra Sun I ultimately gave it to my nephew as well as my 3DS before I played that much of it. I loved Pokémon Moon but like many fans I didn’t give the Ultra versions that fair a chance, and I’ve now since heard they changed up a lot more than I expected and have minor regrets, but not enough to fully regret giving away the device. Maybe they’ll get a Switch port, it’s not too unlikely with now much Nintendo is embracing the practice for this generation finally.

I do know whom Rainbow Rocket is though; a Giovanni from another reality where he won and learned how to jump realities, teaming up with other series villains whom also won in their continuities. It’s an interesting concept, especially considering just how different many villain’s goals were. Of course, the does also bug me. Archie and Maxie hated each other, but both would be appalled by Ghetsis and Lysandre, and while they might understand Cyrus though but the word is might. Ghetsis also was too self-centered to be a true team player but then again that might mean I’d be happily waiting for the expected twist. Without playing the game I can only say it’s an interesting idea with holes I have no idea if they filled up or smoothed out to work.

And yes, Giovanni and surprisingly Archer make their appearances in the Let’s Go games, doing the same good job that is there in the originals but just somehow better for me personally this time around.

Money grubbing and heartless, Team Rocket became iconic and started the trend of needing to defeat evil before becoming the Pokémon Champion. Although sometimes those villains are more evil than others, even when talking about just the Rockets.

So less go for something even less evil than the nicer Rocket members. Let’s talk about the teams who kind of only barely qualified.


- The Punk Youths -

Villains whom are really nothing more than rascals are the newest idea. Because of that, we only have two examples. Team Skull, and Team Yell.

pokepunks.png

Despite both having similar ideas; taking a more obnoxious type of youth and making them the bad guys, purposefully downplaying a role usually saved for genuinely evil or at least dangerously misguided type, Skull and Yell proved to be very different characters at the end of it.

Skull were actual delinquents, showing up wherever they were just to annoy and pester the local townsfolk. Further into the story you end up realizing these are, kids, mostly homeless and unwanted kids at that too. Even with some of the misguided villains we had before, they ended up becoming the least evil and most sympathetic types we came across in the series. Even second-on-command Plumeria ends up coming across as a tough-love motherly figure just trying to keep everyone happy and in-line, and real boss Guzma just reveals himself to be a bit of a stand-offish punk who’s more easily used than he thinks.

Yell doesn’t even do things as bad as that. They are just the fans of trainer Marnie, and are way too loud in their embarrassing levels of support. In short, they’re sports fans with a favorite player. They don’t have a leader, unless you want to count Marnie as they certainly see her as one, even if she certainly doesn’t. Sword and Shield reenvisioned the Pokémon journey as a grand sport that only a lucky few were even able to truly last in, so having obnoxious sports fans whom aren’t actually evil in the slightest were pretty much a perfect antagonist for that type of adventure. Some fans felt Yell was either not used the best or was too close to Skull, but as I said, I think they worked great and were radically different under a similar sounding outer layer.

Both teams had one big similarity too; both were eventually red herrings to the true villain. Skull traded off for a villain whom really stuck with me, and Yell led to a villain I genuinely was hoping wasn’t going to happen as that one felt like a repeat and nowhere near as interesting. But, those villains did also at least have different personalities, so they will be in their own sections. Honestly, let’s do the latter next:


- The Well-Intended -


Sometimes the worst of crimes come from the best intentions. The Pokémon franchise has no problems showing those kinds of bad guys, and their intentions varied, even as much as the very first time they tried it.

revamped aqua and magmas.png

As I said in the third part of my Games I Played in 2020 list, Pokémon Emerald is my favorite game. As such, you better believe I can talk at length about Team Magma, although maybe not as much about Team Aqua. See, I started Gen 3 with Ruby, so Aqua was originally a group of heroes or anti-heroes at first to me, until they showed their evil sides in Emerald alongside Magma yet while still opposing them.

Magma’s goal was to heat up the Hoenn region, feeling that there is not enough land for the Pokémon that live on it and using any means they can to do so. Aqua feels there isn’t enough ocean for all the Pokémon in it and want to cause a massive rain to expand the seas, again using any methods. In Emerald you admittedly spend more time fighting Magma, but considering Maxie and Archie’s different personalities it’s more fitting for the both of them. Maxie is the more intelligent and calculating one, while Groudon is on his radar it seems to be his final idea instead of his only one, he’d rather try out the volcano first and he even has another last ditch effort he planned in advance with the rocket fuel. As for Archie, he’s more aloof yet brutish, his only goal is Kyogre and as such every thing he does is just part of that one plan, and while it does have it’s steps they also do sometimes seem to just be randomly thought up at times.

For both being environmental extremists, both basically using forced climate change to gain what they think they want, and both seeing their error of their ways almost as soon as their plan comes true, Magma and Aqua were still radically different in terms of how and why and they’ve both stuck with me over the years even if you don’t have to twist my arm to make me admit I like Magma more.

Speaking of Magma, while both teams have higher ups whose names I remember (Tabitha, Shelly, Matt), it’s Courtney who has my attention the most and that is now true for many others. She’s basically a grunt with a good design in the original Ruby, a psycho who is still redeemable in the manga, and even more psycho and somehow redeemable in Omega Ruby. She’s loved for her design and for being easily the darkest character from both teams, while not really erasing this gens ideals of having anti-villains who mean well yet don’t understand what they are really doing. Courtney might love fire, but she was still a flawed human willing to earn up and do better. All of which is very impressive for a character that ended up being cut from Emerald!

Now when it comes to the rest of the well-intended, we pretty much have solo characters and a half-example for a team. So, let’s start with an example I feel, may honestly be the weakest example we’ve had, so I guess spoiler warning for Sword and Shield:

Rose fucker.png

Chairman Rose spends a good deal of Sword and Shield feeling like a goofy and well-meaning CEO. However, the last CEO from a Pokémon game turned out to be the true villain, and since there was also a team of rebellious youths as the fake-out villains, myself and many others assumed well in advanced Rose was going to turn evil. And unlike the previous twist villain, Rose fell completely flat for me.

I was really hoping Team Yell and rival Bede would be as evil as the characters got, just obnoxious fans and a mean spoiled rival whom both turn out not evil by the end, which really worked for the overall adventurous atmosphere. I suppose I can say one thing good about Rose is that at least his motive is far different, Rose believes that true tragedy must befall the world in order for it to truly prosper afterwards. There’s a myth in Galar about that exact thing happening, and with the philosophy of “it’s always darkest before the dawn.”, sure, I can see why someone might be deluded enough think it really is the best thing. He’s still evil, but he counts as well-intended which makes him different from the last twist villain yet ultimately a lot less interesting.

He’s not just another twist villain after a twist villain, he’s also just a character who feels more flat than the last twist villain. Even his design doesn’t feel as good, his own henchwoman seemingly has more character, and while I do still like the game he’s from I will say he’s not only the weakest part of it, he’s now one of the weakest villains from the games and it already starting to be the first one I’m forgetting about. There’s one whole team I despite more, but I won’t forget them, and that might mean Rose is technically the weakest villain in the whole game series.

So we’ll now go from weakest solo villain, to a group whom I have started to understand a bit better over the years. I don’t know if they entirely count for this slot, but whenever I think them over, I kind of realize they almost fit here as there’s a sympathy I feel for two different reasons. One is that how the whole group is just being duped, and one is how the leader duping them has reasons the game did a decent enough job making the sympathy come through. It’s not who you think I’m talking about, believe it or not, I’m talking about Team Galactic and Cyrus:

Cyrus fucker.png

Who you likely thought I was going to talk about, he’s next.

Honestly, I think even as much as I used to really not like Team Galactic or Cyrus, thinking back on my Platinum experience there’s a dramatic irony and tragedy there that while not as well-written as it should have been, is worth revisiting to try and really understand their plight.

So that starts the question, what exactly is Team Galactic after? I don’t mean Cyrus, whose end goal is to create a new dimension purely for himself, I mean what do Team Galactic actually want? That’s the thing, I still really don’t know what the individual members want. Sure, it’s been over seven years since I last played Platinum, which is still the version with the better writing for Team Galactic from what I understand, but I really don’t know what Team Galactic was trying to do.

And neither did they.

The grunts, Charon, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, they all believed in what they were told was Cyrus’s vision but every single one of them was being played. While the Commanders where closer to Cyrus than the grunts, and did a lot of the scientific work for him, they were always going to be cut out of the final goal and that ultimately means they were doing all this work for nothing at all. Considering some grunts even mention building a better world, they end up counting here for that reason. Some Galactic members really thought they were doing evil to build a new world, not to destroy everything for the sake of one lonely man.

And that’s Cyrus ultimately too, a lonely man who feels nothing anymore and just wants something for himself. He’s still more evil than Magma, Aqua, even Rose and Giovanni, but when you dive into how he turned out this way there is a sympathy that’s not completely unfounded.

Team Galactic is as uneven as I felt they were the first time I played, but honestly, only now am I realizing that was more intentional than I thought. They are a group of people who do not really know what their own motives or end goals actually are. It’s why there’s so many genuinely malicious members and so many jokesters who are not taking anything seriously. I won’t defend some decisions from Gen IV, and am happy they didn’t come back, but Team Galactic are far more interesting than I once considered them to be.

And now dear readers, we talk about the sympathetic well-intender you were expecting:

You know you’re popular when you get a Nendoroid

You know you’re popular when you get a Nendoroid

Natural “N” Harmonia, one of if not the most popular of Pokémon game villains. N’s goal is to change the Pokémon world, because after multiple friendships with wild and abandoned Pokémon he not only learned how to understand what they are saying, he learned exactly how often Pokémon are abused and mishandled by their trainers. In reality this is a good thing to want, it’s morally sound, it’s just both the methods he is using and the people truly behind him that put in on the path of villainy.

And yet, N is also the most successful villain in the franchise too. NPCs who oppose him fully in the start end up listening to him in the end anyway, he gains respect from those who initially brushed him off. N does change hearts and minds, and more impressive, he even changed the hearts of real life players. Like I said, N is possibly the most popular villain to this day, and after Black and White, there was a bigger focus on Pokémon being your dear friends whom deserve your love and attention. This was part of the idea of course, The Pokémon Company was ready to start deconstructing their premise, and with one great villain they sure as hell did.

N was thoughtful, charming, sympathetic, considerate, regretful, the most successful villain from Pokémon was the one who wasn’t actually evil at all. It’s easy to see why Team Plasma was divided between members who truly saw him as their king, and members who actually knew what the real goal was.

So with that said, we have to go to the type of villains who are the opposite of N. From the character who does not ultimately count as evil, to the ones who count as nothing but evil.

- The Purest Of Evil -


The Pokémon Company clearly likes sympathetic anti-villains, considering they ended up being the biggest category. And yet, when they decide to take off the gloves and let the players fight against real evil, we got characters who were truly frightening in how far they were willing to go. While I found one to be one of their least interesting examples, the other two will stay with me for their haunting glare alone. Let’s start with the most recent, the twist villain of Sun and Moon:

Lusamine fucker.png

So again I need to state I barely played Ultra Sun, but did hear about the differences in story. I know that Lusamine was given a new reason to search for the Ultra Beasts, a sympathetic motive and retool. Honestly, while again I didn’t play it, I can consider that sympathetic take a reason why I didn’t finish it.

Look, my love for Team Magma and Plasma should have made it clear I do heavily enjoy villains with depth and sympathy, however, there are plenty of times where being sheer evil is the more interesting character. Lusamine in regular Sun and Moon is an emotionally distant and abusive parent, she sees no value in her children nor employees as anything other than a means to an end, and her end is nothing but an obsession she just plain has. She has no real grand reason for the obsession, she just has it and it’s enough to drive her to the lowest of actions. She’s vile and cruel, one of the most disgusting characters the franchise ever saw, and it’s why I enjoyed defeating her so much. Sometimes a villain is a villain, someone who does not really have a heart and who can’t be talked down, and Lusamine was one of the few in the game side of the franchise. A true wicked mother that is more real than some people may want to admit. Like Rose, there was also a feeling she wasn’t nearly as nice as she was letting on, but unlike Rose there was legitimate foreshadowing and her character fit the story a lot better.

Sun and Moon are still great entries for many a reason, and while I’m sure there’s tons of merit in Ultra Sun and Moon, I’ll take the truly terrible and irredeemable bastard we got with Sun and Moon Lusamine any day.

But just because true evil can be interesting, that doesn’t always mean it is:

Flare fucker.png

While I have a bit more appreciation for Platinum and it’s villains as the years grow on, I think I dislike X and Y and Team Flare even more the older I get. I understand the competitive side was finally allowed to flourish starting here and I won’t take that away from anyone, yet I still have to stick with my guns that the story and characters from this generation are still the weakest and worst of the games.

Let’s not mix words here, Team Flare were a team of genocidal lunatics, self-obsessed fascists, they were purposefully meant to be the darkest and vilest villains yet, beating even last gen’s true monster. In so many ways I still can’t fathom, this all feel completely flat on it’s face.

Why was Team Flare constantly making really bad fashion jokes? Why was Lysandre so obviously evil to the point where it’s not even funny to joke about it? What was the point of having an Elite Four member mention off-hand that they were a member, as if that ultimately matters for a character we’d only see once and for a few minutes at most, why not a gym leader or the professor if you really wanted a shocking reveal?

If the point was to be sickened, to be shocked at the depravity, then they needed to cut the comedy by a lot. Yes, have some comedy to add levity, that’s more than acceptable especially for a kid’s game. But I ended up never taking a single member of Flare seriously, and for characters allegedly capable of killing all life, it’s an absolute shock that I could not be bothered. Even Galactic, back when I couldn’t stand them, felt more interesting and intimidating than this group of attempted mass murderers.

I will remember Lysandre as one of the biggest failures, so he will be remembered more often than Chairman Rose, but I hope something you may have noticed is that I didn’t name any of his followers. I do not remember their names, and I can’t be bothered to look them up. X and Y have more forgettable characters than other games, and sadly the ones I did remember were mostly the ones I hated, Lysandre being the biggest example. I am okay with villains who are pure evil, but it’s a character you really need to know how to write. They didn’t this time. Lysandra and Team Flare ended up so bland that any threat level they were clearly supposed to have just dried up every time one of them opened their stupid little mouths. To have characters with the power to kill all existence have absolutely no threat level is an embarrassment, let only any fictional villain with nothing interesting about them.

Which is an even bigger shock for a company that did it very right in every single way only one game generation before:

ghetsis fucker.png

The only solo villain I think can make the argument for being even more popular than N Harmonia, would be his adoptive yet abusive father Ghetsis Harmonia. Ghetsis goes to the depths of evil that no other Pokémon villain has yet to go to still. Adopting a child just to mold him into a mouthpiece, building a group under false pretenses while making absolutely sure to still fill it up with members who gleefully know what they were really up to. Ghetsis is the walking nightmare of the Pokémon mainline games, for years we’d heard about trainers who only saw Pokémon as nothing but tools, but all the past villains had some sort of redeeming relationship with their Pokémon as even the cold and emotionless Cyrus managed a friendship evolution of Golbat to Crobat. No such thing this time, Ghetsis’s choice of Pokémon only boiled down to what worked most effectively as a weapon, even carrying into the sequel where he now searched for a legendary Pokémon for the sole purpose of using it as nothing more than an ice cannon, even bragging about how he was positive anyone trapped in the ice would still stay alive and would only be able to watch the horrors without being able to do anything.

Team Plasma gets up to criminal activity under his care even when they are playing up their false good intentions, but once he’s caught and sheds the façade he barely maintained anyway, the team’s very appearance shows his true nature. No longer the white knights whom allied themselves with N, they now dressed like agents of terror and acted like them too.

Ghetsis is a level of evil we hear about in fairy tales and hope don’t really exist, making him the perfect counterpoint to N’s naïve yet good nature. He’s not remotely afraid to kill, he enjoys tormenting others, he wants to rule the world and most likely crush it to pieces soon after. Out of ever fight you’ll have, he’s the one you really want to completely beat forever, the world is better off with him no longer ruining it.

The mainline games have almost every type of villain; greedy gangsters, world dominators, misguided animal loves, hopeless cynics, obsession chasers, even as simple as loud jerks. You can’t love them all, at least I certainly couldn’t, but the mark is passed more often than failed and I’d say that’s very good especially with the amount of homeruns.

Tune in again soon for another discussion, where I look back at the villains from the TV series and movies. And as stated before, you can keep this blog alive with a simple pledge to my Patreon! Either way, thanks for stopping by and reading what I had to say this time.

Why Do I Prefer Older Music?

There has been a stigma for the past few years, a decade or so. If you want to be technical, I suppose this argument has always existed for some, the idea that something must be better because it came first. This is not inherently true for certain things, certain pieces of technology or genres of art inarguably grow as people experiment with them. Of course, with art in mind, you will instead have people who argue on when the form peaked, or when it slowed down. One of the biggest ones would be music.

As far back as my high school days, I heard a lot of support over older music being much better than the current state of music. For those respective time frames, I mean music from the seventies, eighties, and even early nineties, versus the music brought upon the two-thousands and two-thousand tens. With the chosen headline, there is no point in pretending I disagree with this. I like disco, I love Motown, and I miss ballads. Now, I have no personal hate for modern music. I quite like Lady Gaga, I find Miley Cyrus can be a non-guilty pleasure, and in general I think Pop music is going mostly in the right direction for it's genre, even with the duds I've heard.

That doesn't change my opinion on older music. I do highly prefer everything older music did better. There is no better way for the comparison than to compare all of those aspects.

 

-Story-Telling-

If the detractors are to be believed, musicians today no longer write their own songs. I don't think this changes everything, however, there is a closer connection when it is your own words. I would say more, but I'm not going to pretend I know every song that was written by the person or band who performed it. I can easily tell you why Queen is still considered by many to be one of the greatest bands of all time, and how they wrote every song. I can't tell you how many Motown singers wrote their own songs, because I'm not even aware of how many Motown singers existed. Honestly, I have a bigger problem with modern lyrics. Two, to be specific.

The first of which is story-telling. Music used to tell grand stories. There were five to seven minute ballads that we don't get much of anymore. Stories are still told today, but a lot of them tend to be about a fictional version of the singer. These existed before, but they are everywhere today. For some of you, you may think I'm only talking about rap music. A genre where the singer is always a gangster, some unlikable anti-hero boasting about their accomplishments. I may agree with liking older music, but this stance on rap is a little far for me. I agree it happens, but I have enjoyed several rap songs that both subverted and completely absorbed this trend. I unironically enjoy Kanye West's Power, for both being about that kind of person as well as practically an essay on why they are not ideal people. Personally, I think that negative connotation fits better for country music, both old and new.

But on the subject of country, a great example of story-telling and lyrics is folk music. This has slowly disappeared, and that saddens me. Allow me to tell you the tale of one such singer, Jim Croce.

I outright have a tattoo on my left arm due to one of his songs. Funfact I guess.-http://jimcroce.com/?page_id=773

I outright have a tattoo on my left arm due to one of his songs. Funfact I guess.

-http://jimcroce.com/?page_id=773

Jim wrote songs about other people. Sometimes they were in first person, often he was recounting this fiction person's exploits. Usually, they weren't good people, and he treated them as such. Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown is about a local brute,  Working at the Car Wash Blues is about a narcissist who isn't happy because he's not on top of the world like he believes he deserves. The nicest I can remember him being to a horrible person is Roller Derby Queen, where the main character admits to have fallen in love with an ugly and cantankerous woman he saw in the audience of a roller derby. Jim also wrote break-up songs. He could tell you the entire love story of these two people, and how it fell into shambles. Usually these were sad, although One Less Set of Footsteps is a wonderful subversion, the entire song is someone boasting how happy they are to be done with the other and how bad everything was.

Sometimes simple is good enough. These were all one sentence apiece for a three or four minute song. I can do that for many other great songs. The Devil Went Down to Georgia is about a boy beating the devil in a contest. If you want a more modern song, Girlfriend is about a jealous teenager who thinks the boy she likes is wasting his time by dating someone else.

I said earlier I like Lady Gaga, yet I'll be honest, I don't know what most of her songs are about. Bad Romance is straight-forward, as is Poker Face. My favorite song she's made, however, is Judas, and I've tried but I really don't know what that song is about. I've heard the lyrics, they don't make sense. I hear something about loving Judas, but somehow I don’t know enough to fully know how she feels. It could be lust, it could be legitimate love. As I really like the song, I can obviously overlook it, but I have to end up admitting I most like it because of her voice and beat. In the case of a lot of other songs, the story just isn't interesting. It goes back to many inflated egos, as it reflects the times, I assume. I miss hearing about people. Likable, lovable, hateable, determined people. I feel we used to get fully-fleshed out characters and their life-story. I truly miss that.

There's something else about Judas that shows a point. It's the other thing I feel about today's lyrics.

 

-Gibberish-

The real reason I don't understand the story of Lady Gaga's Judas, is the same problem I have with both some of her songs and modern music in general. Not the existence of gibberish, the outright love of gibberish.

For those sitting there, smugly assuming the old songs never used gibberish, here is my counter-point. There was gibberish, it was just used a lot less.

Here are some lyrics from the aforementioned Judas:

In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offensed,
Or wear an ear condom next time

I supposed I could make sense of this, seeing them in front of me. I've never known what these words were until I looked them up, because she sings them so fast it becomes garbled. Yet, even after taking some time with it, some of it is still random words to rhyme or sound interesting.

Now, for comparison. Here are two of the continuous lines from the famous song, Harry Chapin's Cats In the Cradle:

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon

Yes, it is gibberish, but I can still hear it when I listen to the song. I never had to look up the lyrics to understand them. I even have an opinion; the singer is recalling the stories he regrets never telling his kid. Who knows if I'm right, but at least I can form an opinion the second I heard the lyrics for the first time.

I've been hard on Gaga, so I will be more than kind and say that the reason she uses gibberish is clearly from her Queen influence. Queen loved gibberish.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo Figaro - magnifico

That is Bohemian Rhapsody, and I don't think I had to tell you for you to know that. Like the last example, you hear it from the first time. Unlike the last example, you don't have a clue what it means. I assume that the main character is going crazy, the song seemed to be heading that way from lyric 1. Of course, that helps my earlier point. Even with complete gibberish, this older song makes sense story-wise; It's about a man who may or may not regret killing a man, and is apologizing to his mother for becoming the kind of person he is.

Nonsense can work easily, but today I am hearing more use of nonsense than regular words. If I may just be mishearing, than the problem is that modern songs have a tendency to sound like gibberish and are muffling their words too much. Sure, sometimes a song is fine just for it's beat. However, lyrics matter, in more than one way.

 

-Lack of Variation-

I said earlier that pop is mostly headed in the right direction. I've noticed this mostly because pop and country and rap are all I hear for new songs. Pop is simply "popular music", I wish this was a joke, but I took a Popular Cultural Studies class and the professor flat-out told us this is what it meant from day one.

Again, I want to say out of all of these genres I only dislike country. This isn't just new country either, that's the reason I specifically chose The Devil Went Down to Georgia, just so I could be a little nice to lovers of the genre. It's a perfect song, I'll always go out of my way to praise it.

As for older styles, I have already mentioned disco, Motown, and folk. There also seems to be a strong lack of new punk rock, classical rock, soft rock, jazz, rhythm and blues, I'm even noticing a lot less Christian rock, classical hip-hop, grunge, really I could go on. When I was a child, all of these and more played on the radio. Now, the stations are almost all dedicated to old rock. Sure, I love old rock, but there seems to be something weird about the branching out of current music versus what we’ve already been listening to for two or three decades. If you are able to tune into a college radio station, cherish it, because I've heard that students today are experimenting with music more than mainstream radio stations, meaning you won't get the exact same five songs throughout the week.

Part of me thinks boy bands came back as strong as they did because the people were clamoring for something different again.

Regardless of the radio, I do not know of the last new song that wasn't pop, rap, or country. There is so much new country, that they hold an event every single month on local programming to hand out awards and congratulations. Mainstream rap has outright eclipsed the hip-pop it evolved from, and swallowed it's other variations. Pop has now just become whatever people feel like slapping the label on. Is Miley Cyrus a pop singer or a country singer? Ask whichever song she just performed.

 

The most consistent thing with her music is being weird, most likely her higher-ups are hoping for and achieving a Madonna effect. Again, I do still enjoy her work from time to time, and I honestly appreciate an artist who tries to be distinguishabl…

The most consistent thing with her music is being weird, most likely her higher-ups are hoping for and achieving a Madonna effect. Again, I do still enjoy her work from time to time, and I honestly appreciate an artist who tries to be distinguishable from their peers.

Edit: F**k John K. I’m not taking down this picture but in no way do I associate with him or condone the man’s actions.

-http://www.cartoonbrew.com/music-videos/john-kricfalusi-animation-miley-cyrus-bangerz-tour-96601.html/attachment/miley-bangerz-e

Maybe I could completely blame my disinterest in modern music on it's lack of variation. If I get tired of pop I'd like to be able to hear a new Motown song. I've mentioned Motown a lot, it's time to be frank, I really miss Motown. I would also live for a new Jazz song, but it's been a long time since I was aware of them. They must exist, but the mainstream is just hiding them away, in fact I'm betting that's almost exactly what's happening. Treating them the same way Hollywood used to treat Indie films.

However, I do believe there is something else that attributes to what has happened. How apropos that I already mentioned Hollywood.

-Following Too Much in Other's Footsteps-

There is a YouTuber by the name of Jim Gisriel. Good fellow. Has far more subscribers than I do right now. He has a very thoughtful video on how Hollywood is starting to get too nostalgic when it comes to blockbusters:

I really think his point can apply to modern music as well, I’ve already mentioned as such. Miley Cyrus's shtick feels very derivative of Madonna. I said Lady Gaga probably uses fast gibberish because of her outright admittance to being inspired by Queen. This is not the first time that musicians took direct influence from another and of course that’s not a bad thing in and of itself.

The Beatles were inspired by other rock musicians, and they are considered the people who made pop music start to gain momentum, or to some, the people who created it in the first place. Current rap came from older rap, I stated as such, as well as the fact rap came from hip-hop in the first place. And then there's not only the many genres of rock, but rock music has it’s roots in jazz and rhythm and blues. Music, like all art, evolves over time.

I'm just afraid that the current evolution has turned a few heads too many. The current executives looked very hard at what stuck, and only decided to take a few of those genres forward. The insanity of certain songs was taken forward, without a long enough sit-down as to why they worked in the first place. Stories became too self-involved to be relatable, and boasting became very common after it's use beforehand. Gone are the days of Carly Simon's You're So Vain, now it's common for the main character to be the one who's vain.

A great song can make you laugh, can make you rethink your life, can outright break your heart. I can still enjoy new pop and rap, but it's been a good while since I completely loved a new song. I suppose we'll just have to wait for the next breed of musicians to learn from past mistakes and failures, and see how that pans out.