I Am Already Not Excited For The Next Console Cycle

It has been four years since the release of the PlayStation 5 and the Xbox Series. I’ve been console gaming since my early youth, starting with the original PlayStation. By the time of the PlayStation 2, I had learned to expect consoles to iterate and evolve, and that the next horizon would happen sometime later on.

However, I wouldn’t ever think about the following console. I loved my PlayStation 3 and knew a PlayStation 4 would follow, but it was never more than a reality I did not think about.

Yet, during this console cycle, at only four short years in, I am noticing and thinking of the next cycle. And I am constantly dreading the reality.

I suppose it was Astro Bot that helped my eyes crack open. Celebrating everything Sony has accomplished through the PlayStation brand (with the noticeable exception of Square Enix properties) truly reminded me how much these cycles have given us. I enjoyed Astro Bot, although admittedly not to the GOTY sentiment I see from other fans and publications, but remembering the previous PlayStations' lives did show me how much the PlayStation 5 has not had much of a life after all.

There has been a focus on remastering classics from the PlayStation 3, and pointless remasters of PlayStation 4 games which occasionally are barely five years old. The live-service games came and went, leaving no lasting impressions or sometimes even a first impression, such as Foamstars of the disastrous launch of Concord.

To shift gears and discuss Microsoft and the Xbox Series of consoles, we are still waiting on the promised games such as the Perfect Dark reboot and the next chapter for Halo. The rut has yet to end, and the console has become little else but a “Game Pass machine”.

I was content with the PlayStation 1, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox One, and every Nintendo handheld I’ve ever owned. While I did know to expect a horizon, I was still able to love living in the moment. I can’t do that with the PlayStation 5 or the Xbox Series, as even though I do find them stronger versions of their previous console interactions, that is all they feel like. I turn on my PS5 or my Series X and feel like I’m still playing my PS4 or Xbox One but with better user interfaces.

There have been console exclusives I’ve loved, as I heavily enjoyed Marvel’s Spider-Man 2. But when it comes to console exclusives I truly only think of the ones from Nintendo as of late. And with their next console already teased, I actually do see myself excited as long as it’s little more than a more impressive Nintendo Switch.

Which is a funny contrast, and there is instead a growing fear from me for both Sony and Microsoft in how their consoles don’t feel like anything but an upgrade. Xbox’s limbo for the past decade has made things feel like they are moving sideways instead of forward, their momentum is completely stagnant. I can’t be excited anymore as I stopped expecting a comeback, and I even stopped subbing to Gamepass. I’d rather just play my back catalog instead of pretending I’m hyped.

For PlayStation, it’s the growing discomfort in their comfort zone. I may enjoy Spider-Man 2 more than Astro Bot, but the refreshing genre contrast of Astro Bot is still what I would prefer to see more of. PlayStation has enough third-person sandbox story games, as good as they may be. I feel this is a major reason for the disgust I and many others had for the announcement of the PlayStation 5 Pro. When all the games look the same anyway, due to playing the same anyway, what’s the selling point that they will now be a few pixels sharper? Variety is a better spice than 8K and 120 FPS.

I can think hard about the Nintendo Switch, but I lose my train of thought with the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X. They lack the identity that the Switch so easily earned, and after four years on the market with no drop in price, it’s hard not to worry.

Realistically, both companies have plenty of time to learn, but it’s more than fair to say I’ve waited long enough. If this console cycle feels stagnant and samey, it worries me this is a rut too hard to move out of.

I trust Nintendo to innovate even if the next console is little more than Nintendo Switch 2. I don’t currently trust the PlayStation 6 to be anything but a PlayStation 5 Pro. I worry that Xbox doesn’t even try to do anything besides revamp the Series until it sells or they give up.

There are great games right now, and plenty of places to play them. But I worry the next console cycle will feel like nothing. Not even an upgrade. Only time will tell.

Quick Update: Hiatus For October 2nd-8th!

As a one-man operation I know it’s not necessary to announce quick breaks. It’s somewhat assumed free blogs will occasionally go on hiatus, sometimes for months or years on end!

That said, I am taking a long overdue vacation the day of my usual uploads, and while I have something prepared for next week, I decided to focus on the trip preparation instead of an article for this week.

I shall be back on the 9th, as long as the jetlag does not kill so much energy I cannot even edit an already written-in-advance article!

Video Game Villains: Gruntilda "Grunty" Winkybunion

Rare’s masterpiece is usually considered to be Banjo-Kazooie. I feel I agree with this take, even if my personal favorite is the foul-mouthed Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

The platforming and jokes placed Banjo’s first adventure into player’s hearts, but an important Jiggy in the puzzle was the villain of the adventure; Gruntlida.

A typical witch at the end of it. A green-skinned horror who suddenly wishes to be the fairest of them all. Despite also being proud of her gross habits such as picking her nose in public and showering in cheese. Not a full personality truth-be-told, one that outright contradicts itself as she both wishes to be beautiful and considers ugliness to be better than beauty. Yet her jokes still landed and I found an honest-to-God charm in her always speaking in rhyme as if she escaped the pages of Dr. Seuss.

Now the opening video at the top shows her resurrection from Banjo-Tooie, and I picked that game as I feel this was where Gruntilda’s real personality was fully fleshed out. Completely forgetting the world of beauty, Grunty now loves the violence of destruction and is motivated purely by the joy of revenge. She’s even meaner this time and far more of an active threat.

Gleefully ruining the lives of NPCs and even casually outright killing an entire family of Jinjos with no remorse, the darker atmosphere of Banjo-Tooie shows itself with how much of a menace Grunty and her two sisters are. We now see the aftermath of her beating her loyal servant Klungo almost to death, and even her two sisters aren’t spared from her pointless cruelty as the two will eventually die before the final boss fight just because they lose too many points in the trivia game.

Speaking of the trivia game, I find this to relate to an aspect of Grunty’s character that each game kept intact: Her love of games. No, I’m serious, even in Banjo-Kazooie it’s clear she loves the boardgame that she makes Banjo play, she loves the trivia game in Tooie to the point she uses leftover questions in the final fight, and every encounter with her in Nuts N’ Bolts is her challenging you to a minigame with specific vehicle mechanics.

She’s also surprisingly fair in terms of losing. For a villain anyway. She throws a fit, but she doesn’t go back on her word. If she wagered a Jiggy, you win the Jiggy she wagered. Her final fight questions will make the fight easier if you answer correctly, just like she promises. And while killing her sisters is a much darker example, bear in mind that dying was the stated penalty for losing, so her own flesh and blood do not change her mind in sticking to what she states are the rules of a game. The closest she comes to breaking a rule is that she will throw a tantrum and cancel the game at the last second in Tooie, but even in that case, she doesn’t stoop to killing Banjo when she has the trap already aimed at him. She just runs off and prepares for another fight.

I found myself fascinated by this character trait as it truly does flesh out what would be a generic villain. She is a witch and later a skeleton, which is not exactly the most unique idea for a baddie. But a games master and rhyme master on top of that, well there we go!

A simple character whose execution leads to someone truly remarkable. And she only got better as time went on. She’s at her most generic in Banjo-Kazooie, then Tooie ups her threat level and gives her motives better weight, and finally, Nuts N’ Bolts just does the simple solution of keeping her constant menace and humor while allowing her to rhyme again. I can’t deny it, the rhyming is important to me. When she was forced to stop rhyming in Tooie I felt a part of her character was erased for a dumb joke, and I really do think giving that trait back to her was all Nuts N’ Bolts needed to create the best version of Gruntilda.

A classic bad guy. One of the all-time greats for platformers. Gruntilda is just as important to the series as the playable heroes it’s named after. Such an ugly face, yet an important one, and I think she would be just as proud of both those observations.

All images belong to: Rare, Microsoft, and Nintendo.

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What Was Special About Rare

I’ve been tackling my backlog this year, harder than usual. I planned it out back in January, but it’s been May and June when I really started crossing off game after game. The biggest reason for this is that I suddenly felt like going back to Rare Replay.

Jetpac Refueled is surprisingly pretty fun for how limited and arcadey it feels. Perfect Dark is incredibly fun to skate around blasting the enemies away, and honestly, I feel it’s disappointing sequel PD Zero is more mediocre than outright bad. I was stuck in Grabbed by the Ghoulies many years ago but somehow I picked it up again this year and managed to beat not just that level I was stuck on, but made it to the end that same night. A bit of an odd game but a gem that needed better sales. Kameo turned out to be fairly average, but still a fun enough game with interesting gameplay concepts.

I still need to jump back into Blast Corps, and Jet Force Gemini, but I somehow found time to play the ancient games like Gunfright and Jetpac original.

And okay, you likely just care what I think of Banjo-Kazooie. The original was beaten by me a long time ago and it’s pretty much Rare’s most competently made game. Not my personal favorite, but the one I think has the least issues. Can’t say the same for either sequel, but don’t get me wrong, I’m actually in the camp that finds Nuts & Bolts to be pretty good! The vehicles are fun and the open choice in how to win the puzzles is a great change-up to the formula even if hardly anything else feels like classic Banjo.

Of course, Tooie is also classic Banjo, and I’m sorry but I did not have a good time with it. I think every idea offered is a nice addition and I think the story and jokes are a step above the first game, but the ideas don’t gel with each other and instead just drag the gameplay down by a lot. It probably has Rare’s best final boss but honestly, that’s not saying as much as you might think.

Rare, or Rareware, (or Ultimate Play The Game if you wanna get really retro), really are one of my favorite developers for the classic games scene. Sure Insomniac offered great gems but Rare I did not grow up with and yet still find charm when I play their back catalog.

So if I could explain Rare games in just a few words, what are the phrases that come to mind?

Well for starters: Unfair difficulty!

Credits: Microsoft, Rare, Bandai Namco, Fromsoftware

Heed my advice on this, when you play any of Rare’s older games, either play a game where you have infinite lives by default, or open the options menu to give yourself infinite lives. And even then, good fucking luck my guy. I cannot for the life of me beat Snake, Rattle, and Roll. The bullshit final boss, (who’s just a hopping severed foot by the by, which is also a standard enemy type so hello there blatant recycling), is programmed to instantly fully heal back all health after a set time of not taking damage. That time frame seems to be a second or so. Rare Replay lets you rewind time and I still somehow magically miss or go just too slow and the damn foot goes back to full health. It’s asinine even for the NES, the kind of thing I’m positive a play tester told them was bad and got promptly ignored. If you can beat this thing without the cheat codes, I think you’re made of crack.

Don’t know how I would have beaten Gunfright if not for the rewind feature, either. You have to win twenty duels with AI that just moves around randomly and shoots whenever. And yes, it’s random, because when I would rewind they’d move to entirely different patterns than the last time. You just have to guess better than a fortune teller if you want to beat it “correctly”.

Banjo-Kazooie is a pleasant breeze, part of the reason I consider it Rare’s best-made game. I won’t ride on Tooie’s harsh difficulty too much as I already said I don’t like it, so let’s continue with pointlessly hard Rare games I do like.

Well, Nuts & Bolts does sometimes break its own rules and expect you to roll with it, such as how I only earned three Jiggies in Terrarium of Terror because I’d just had enough of that level’s BS. Ghoulies like I already said I was stuck on, but frankly that game’s just hard because there are a lot of rules you can suddenly have to obey, and the camera controls take a bit to get used to, not to say it’s the worst camera Rare ever made.

Allow me to share with you my favorite Rare games. I’d place Banjo-Kazooie in third place really, and Viva Pinata is such a blast (even with its problems) that I have to give it the silver medal. And maybe you’ve guessed it, but my all-time fav is Conker. And while it is in my personal top ten games, boy do I have a hard time recommending it to people because it’s also one of the hardest games I’ve ever beaten.

If you’ve never played Conker, but have heard of it, I’m sure there’s one of two thoughts going through your head. Either: “How is the funny squirrel game hard?” or “How is the allegedly funny squirrel game hard?” Conker’s humor has aged poorly for some, but not everyone. Same for its story, I have seen people criticize how slapdash and random the plot points are but I think that works as a parody of 3D platformers since, well, that’s also how it works in those games. You just jump from one completely different area to the next, the only reason this time it’s a joke is because Conker’s just a sociopath alcoholic trying to get home.

But fuck me the difficulty needed to calm the hell down. The zombies are practically impossible, the war sections demand perfect platforming despite the controls being honestly not perfect themselves, I remember my high school theatre teacher had played the game too and complained about the electric eel but frankly, somehow I had no issue there.

As for my worst moments: I died countless times to the spinning underwater saw blades. Ugh, and the final boss, Jesus, if you ever want to send me into a spiral just put on the most monotone British accent you can muster and go “Throw out the alien, and shut the bloody door.”

And on top of that, Conker has another boss who may be the hardest in all of gaming: Its own camera. I hear a lot about FromSoftware setting the scale for hard games, but not a single person calls the camera controls hard in those games, so there is unironically a good chance Conker is harder thanks to the game actively fighting back at plenty of times. There is nothing harder than a tough fight where you’re looking the entirely wrong way and can't do much of a thing about it.

I still love the game, and I still want to play it again soon despite how much it grinds my teeth into dust. All that said, I should probably give the Live & Reloaded cut a chance. Less swearing but if the camera actually works then that’s a fine trade-off.

I think if you ask most people, (well okay most YouTubers), Rare was this incredible developer who delivered fun-first gameplay styles, with wacky and well-realized characters who often stack up to what’s currently out there. The kind of games that inspired the competition generations later. Many think it’s a shame they do nothing but Sea of Thieves now, but frankly well you’re “stuck” in your best-selling game ever and raking in more money than you ever did before, that’s the kind of horrible fate I think I’d wish on myself most days.

But Rare’s insistence on difficulty is the bigger talking point, I feel. It’s Rare who thought Snake, Rattle, and Roll should have an invincible final boss. It’s Rare who felt Conker needed a bad camera. And hell, if you think I’m only guessing or being overly negative, go check out two things.

In Rare Replay, there are loads of behind-the-scenes videos, and in one of them, a developer openly states how much fun they had changing Battletoads Arcade just for the sake of making it harder and harder. Even had the gall to admit it was just to sucker more quarters out of arcade patrons.

If that’s not enough, Chris Seavor had a short-lived commentary series for Conker’s Bad Fur Day. Where he notably struggled with the gameplay, and yet found the time to state how they were forced to change the camera controls for Live & Reloaded because “players like having control over that these days”. He then stated that he preferred the stiff and unresponsive camera of the original.

That’s Rareware, everybody! One of the greatest game developers of all time, who happened to love making players pissed off way more than needed. Some of the best of the best, truly, but my popped blood vessels have their own opinion.

Image copyright belongs Rare, Nintendo, and Microsoft, most images pulled from Xbox store page.

Video Game Villains: Eddie "Killbane" Pryor

There was a lot of internal debate on when I tackled a Saints Row villain. The franchise is near-and-dear to its fanbase in ways so hard to explain, it’s a series far more than just “GTA clone” and manages to capture so many moments that put thousands of other game series to shame. Part of me wanted to savor, but ultimately, it’s fitting to have episode the third feature a villain from Saints Row: The Third.

Especially since I always knew Killbane would be the first SR villain I’d tackle. The Third was my entry to the series and remains my favorite, and Killbane is one-half of the final villain as he is either succeeded by Cyrus Temple or just fully ignored in favor of Kia, depending on your final story choice.

Killbane is the least popular main antagonist in Saints Row, and I’ve always felt that’s unfair to him. The contest itself isn’t fair as Alderman Richard Hughes is a background character until his only scene, Dane Vogel very much the same despite his larger screen presence. Plus, while Killbane shares main villain status, Zinyak was allowed to be the only main antagonist of SR 4 and therefore constantly got to be intimidating while having several moments to flesh out his personality.

Killbane’s personality tends to be overlooked as many just think he’s shallow and showy. Never as tough as he nor Angel claim he is. He’s also considered far less interesting than Loren, Matt Decker, the DeWynter sisters, and STAG in terms of personality and appearance. While I can understand where these criticisms are coming from, I think most if not all of this is a misunderstanding of the character. Killbane to me works well as a dark shadow of both The Boss but also as a retooling of previous SR villain Maero.

I only played Saints Row 2 for the first time a few years back, but Maero stuck in my mind as probably the best-realized villain, at least on a personal level. Each SR 2 gang has its moments, but Maero comes out swinging from the first moment. He’s a wall, an arrogant giant who will not budge regardless of whether the specific playthrough’s Boss is just starting up or has already killed the other faction leaders. Maero is brutal and strong on top of this, while still caring for some of his colleagues even if not all of them.

All of these nearly describe Killbane, but Maero proved a bit more interesting for the fanbase but also surprisingly softer than Killbane when analyzed. While Maero truly cared about his girlfriend Jessica Parish and deeply trusted other members of his gang, Killbane is an egotistical nightmare who only believes in his own abilities and cunning. Killbane’s love is wholly conditional, even an accidental remark is enough to trigger a murderous rage he will not feel sorry for.

I’ve seen fans online dislike Killbane for uprooting the main villain seat from Loren, but the funny thing about that criticism is that the game itself agrees with this! When Loren is killed early on, Killbane points out that a vote for leader is required and then instantly steals the position despite every other member of The Syndicate objecting to the notion. They allow his insurrection out of personal threat, but even then, both DeWynter sisters mostly just brush the threat off as they seemingly can’t be bothered to seek the leader role that Matt Decker had just claimed is rightfully theirs.

This is where he ends up contrasting with The Boss, both in terms of SR 2 and SR The Third. In SR 2, The Boss is personally rescued by The Saints as they are picked to lead the gang into new victory after Julius vanished, while Killbane is an unwanted leader forcing himself into the role at the first chance. The Boss uses their granted confidence to bring The Saints into total victory by erasing the rival gangs and even the multi-million Ultor, while Killbane’s assumed confidence sees him down the path of complete failure for the Syndicate.

Killbane personally kills Kiki DeWynter out of petty anger, which results in Viola betraying him, and later snowballs into Matt being so afraid of him that he quits organized crime for good. Killbane never feels remorse for these actions and only sees a reality where he stays on top of the world, only to get humiliated in the ring and either killed or forced into hiding. The Boss understands the qualities of a great leader, while Killbane sees the lavish power fantasy.

Killbane’s threat level is a bit stranger, not in a way I dislike, just in a way where he is and isn’t as tough as he claims. Killbane brags about being undefeated in the ring and a true unstoppable force. Meanwhile, Angel and Kinzie will talk about how he is tough as steel but mostly underhanded above anything else. Angel lost to Killbane once before but assumes there was cheating, warning The Boss several times that you just can’t beat Killbane in the slightest.

But Angel is proven completely wrong. When Angel finally gets that rematch, Killbane does send in help but said help really only bugs The Boss. Once the backup is done with, Killbane still instantly and easily defeats Angel. The talk of him cheating to win is a bunk from a failure. The reality was that Killbane is a tough nut to crack and Angel was never good enough to beat him.

But, then there’s The Boss. The Boss starts the feud with Killbane assured that Kinzie and Angel are hyping up Killbane too much and that he’d not last long in a true fight. This point is nearly proved early on by an assassination attempt, thwarted only at the last minute by Matt. When this easy solution is mentioned again after Matt skips town, Angel just claims that somehow shooting Killbane in the head wouldn’t work. The same man who thinks he’d beat Killbane also thinks Killbane is bullet-proof, it’s almost as if this is more about ego between them than anything else…..

So when The Boss is forced into the ring, we get to see exactly how strong he is. Try to punch him and he doesn’t even have to shrug it off. However, slap him around for a few seconds with something stronger, and suddenly a few quick-time-events are all that’s needed. This is repeated should you go after him in the finale instead of saving Shaundi, only this time his plane exploding replaces the need for slapping him with a toilet. Killbane ultimately does have an iron hide, but The Boss is completely right with their guess that they’ve dealt with tougher foes before as Killbane is easily defeated. Even Matt put up a better fight all things considered.

All of these things explain his unpopularity with fans. Killbane isn’t as smart nor as strong as he thinks, being easily outshined by the other villains even from personality alone. But that’s the thing, I like him as a villain for that! A villain being an arrogant hypocrite does not make them a bad villain. After all, they need to be a force you need to stop, and Killbane still is that. While not invincible, he is still a threat. His unstable nature makes him all the worse as it only means his ego is easily bruised, and once it is, he will respond in a way that destroys whatever he feels is in his path.

Cyrus Temple is the true main villain of Saints Row: The Third, full stop. He’s scarier and much harder to defeat. However, Killbane is the villain who pushes the plot forward more than anyone else, and that’s all by his design of a flawed masterplan. The Saints had already killed Loren and likely would have just moved back to Stillwater, but Killbane is the one who pulls them right back in. Killbane’s overstepping convinces the senate to approve STAG and therefore forces Cyrus into his position. There is no Saints Row: The Third without Killbane.

A classic villain is supposed to share the same flaws as the hero, yet darker. Killbane does that far more than most SR villains if not all of them. There’s a reason even his detractors still like his final monologue I linked at the top. He realizes The Boss is a sell-out because they both are. Sell-outs who got high on violence and always got to be on top. Of course, by Saints Row: The Third, The Boss was starting to turn more anti-hero. Killbane may just be the villain The Boss was going to be if The Third didn’t soften them up. A loud wash-up who demanded the world, even when they weren’t worthy of it. From a loving leader who never did anything worse than ribbing their teammates to a monster who chose to selectively love the useful subordinates and unflinching kill the others when even the slightest bit angry.

I’ve replayed this game so many times, and it is still a highlight when I pull that sweaty mask off his face and reveal his hairline to the crowd. Killbane is not a charming villain like Loren or a mastermind villain like Matt and Cyrus, but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

Image credits: Volition, Deep Silver

Gamescom's 2024 Opener Felt Surprisingly Dull

Before we start this discussion, I’d like to just give a quick apology for the likelihood of spelling errors or inconsistencies this go around. I am on my own here but strive for professionalism, which means I typically reread these blog posts multiple times before I finish them, but I need to be timely today so the chance of spelling goofs is much higher than normal. I will also be speaking off the cuff for many of the game trailers, as one does, so expect an easy breezy attitude.

Gamescom happens every year, hosted by none other than Geoff Keighley, an industry man so well known that spellcheck was able to correctly identify his surname. For what it’s worth, I’ve liked Geoff for a while now. I noted back at my tenure freelancing for DualShockers that he is capable of being too commercial-focused, but, his love for video games is genuine and he can let it shine brightly.

Gamescom’s 2024 opener didn’t feel too commercial thankfully, it more so just happened to showcase games I overwhelmingly didn’t find myself caring about.

Let’s just get one thing out of the way; I’ve already stated my worries about Indiana Jones And The Great Circle, so I won’t replay that record this evening for you. We can also start with positives just for the sake of argument:

I’m excited for the Mafia series to come back, but then again, the trailer was nothing more than a teaser, and I have become far too cynical to be fully excited when that happens. I also think it’s great that Genshin Impact is coming to Xbox platforms, as while my time with Honkai Star Rail has still been short, I can tell there’s fun and quality from Hoyoverse, so allowing even more players to try their games out is welcome. It’s fun to hear about Secret Level, assuming it does live up to the hype of a full series that looks exactly like a modern video game cutscene.

There were too many games that looked technically fine but were elbow-deep into a franchise I am not familiar with and seemed very comfortable marketing off that familiarity. That is no fault of theirs, but it left me cold. I was also briefly intrigued by the above Call Of Duty, but entirely for the secret agent aspects. I found myself uninterested once it became a shootout and motorcycle chase, but I can still say I understand why fans would be pumped. It still looked more interesting to me than the last decade of the franchise, and it’s likely something I’ll play around with when I resubscribe to Game Pass, which is more than I have said about Call Of Duty in a long while.

But I’m sorry to say the event itself started off sour for me. The Borderland 4 announcement is a victim of terrible timing due to the movie being a massive critical and commercial flop, but it can also be slammed for featuring no gameplay or even as much as a character reveal!

The trailer for Goat Simulator Remastered is quite funny until the title drops. There is no reason to remaster a game that looks like crap on purpose and runs perfectly well on modern hardware. Polishing the turd would ruin the joke, and anyone who wants to play Goat Simulator can already do so. Putting it on stage for a large crowd only made it feel shallow.

What on God’s green Earth was Masters Of Albion? Directed by Fable creator and Lionhead founder Peter Molyneux, this game is an apparent return caused by an alleged yearning to come back to the console space after developing for mobile. I’m nothing short of worried that the mobile phone game market tainted Molyneux’s design, however, as Masters Of Albion reeks of mobile phone gaming down to even having a hand as a cursor to drag the objects of characters. It lacked any wit or charm to keep my interest. Molyneux has enough spite against him on the web, so I see no need to begrudge him just because of the internet’s beef, but I do wonder why this game was allowed on the show floor. Perhaps it’s secretly a masterpiece, but time will have to tell us that, as my eyes sure didn’t seem to think it is.

I’m outright confused about what there is left to talk in-depth about. As I said in the positives, many trailers felt like I was left out of the loop, and sadly that’s just as much a negative. Many new IPs and franchise staples had trailers leaving me puzzled and empty. I don’t wish to attack these games without knowing anything about them, all I would like to say is how I was left knowing nothing about them. I was just as empty from Little Nightmares 3 and I was Reanimal. As empty from the Zenless Zone Zero update trailer as I was from Marvel Rivals’s and Warhammer’s. I’d go as far as to guess these may very well all be good games, but the marketing was so underwhelming, especially as I have been intrigued by previous Little Nightmare game trailers and Zenless update trailers.

For everything E3 did wrong, it was rare to be so bored by an E3 conference, yet this year’s Gamescom has started as dull as a rusted nail. The tempo is off drastically, and I hope the following days are of more interest to those in attendance. I do if this is the case, as I could not help by notice that the oversized crowd made hardly a peep during the show. Unless they were not properly miked, they were as disinterested as I was.

Video Game Villains: The Bosses Of Spyro The Dragon

I can thank the original Spyro the Dragon for showing my younger self what a video game can do. I’d played educational games on the PC, and Spyro wasn’t even my first PlayStation title, but it was the one that directly told me about breaking boundaries. Just to see what was on the other side. I hadn’t ever wondered what lay beyond the overworld before, I hadn’t realized I should be curious, that I should look for every advantage I may find. I just knew how to click on an object or how to jump.

Something Spyro also showed me was how, sometimes, a bad guy is just there to be an obstacle to overcome. I feel like I knew that even at the time, not that I could articulate this fact. Spyro The Dragon has some very minimalistic bosses who serve no purpose nor character other than being a guy Spyro beats up to get gems.

Youtuber Caddicarus went as far as to say they are some of the worst bosses in video game history. He was likely being hyperbolic for the sake of his style of video, but in my personal opinion, I have fought so many worse video game villains. I beat Immortals of Aveum if you want proof I’ve slugged through pointless bosses. I can’t help but agree with him for one character though, which would be the main villain of Spyro the Dragon; Gnasty Gnorc.

His introduction was the opener of this episode, and the reason I showcase a cutscene at the start of these blog posts is to try and condense the core reason I picked said villain in the first place. Maybe not their greatest moment, but certainly the moment it stuck with me how said character worked as a villain. Gnasty Gnorc’s intro isn’t an exception, but that’s only because, outside of the opening, there are zero cutscenes featuring him. And zero is also the number of cutscenes featuring any of the other bosses.

Gnasty comes in to state the reason Spyro has to run around and free the other dragons. That’s it. Literally it. He’s not deep and was never meant to be, he’s an object given a name. Heck, his backstory doesn’t technically exist, the dragons call him ugly, and “that tears is”, which means we’re only told there’s personal beef between Gnasty and the dragons but not even a shred of what the beef is. They do say in the interview that Gnasty learned a type of magic that turns gems into minions, so sure, that explains the beef; Gnasty steals the dragon’s gems and uses them to create an army of minions. The why is never answered, he could just be some punk-ass thief who thinks he’s bigger than that, and the dragons brushing him off could be evidence of the theory.

I’ve been snarky but haven’t explained why I agree with Caddicarrus for just Gnasty Gnorc. That’s because his fight sucks. It’s really bad, even as a kid I was surprised at how lackluster it is. He just stands up top shooting energy at you, then Spyro kills some bandits carrying keys, uses those keys to get to Gnasty’s level, then Gnasty runs away in this big loop until you attack him once, then runs through a chamber of lava where just one more hit kills him. On my first ever go around, I died quite a few times to misjudging the platforms at the end, but not to Gnasty himself. When I finally landed the last blow, kid me was surprised it was over. I had fully expected another phase.

Spyro bosses have three hit points, each and every one, until suddenly they don’t. That was a mind-screw as a kid, being smart enough to realize that if Doctor Shemp and Toasty needed three hits, I should expect Blowhard to also need three fire breaths. But then, Metalhead only had two cycles, followed by Jacques and then Gnasty as well. The bosses get weaker as you go along, such a strange concept when you say it out loud.

To be fair to the second half of the bosses, they reside in levels much harder to navigate. It’s the level Jacques resides that’s the real boss, with him just being the pushover you kill without thinking much about it. Yeah, just like Gnasty, he wasn’t a threat as a kid, but his stupid ass level gave me a headache! Still not a fan of it to this day.

So what are these bosses anyway? Well, Gnasty Gnorc is the leader of the Gnorcs, some invented fantasy creature for the Spyro universe that phonetically is a mishmash of Gnome and Orc. Toasty is a sheep on stilts wearing a brown coat and wielding a scythe with a jack-o-lantern for a head, which tells you just how hard some of the creature design goes in Spyro 1 (Toasty’s probably more iconic than Gnasty if I’m being real, maybe he should have been in Hero's Tale instead).

Back on track; Doctor Shemp is a large yellow/orange Gnorc wearing a metal apron and waving around a shaman stick. Not sure why he’s named after one of the stooges. Blowhard is a traditional long-bearded wizard but instead of a torso, he’s a tornado. Metalhead is a giant robot Gnorc and the only gimmick fight of the game; you have to destroy his little antennas instead of attacking him directly. You can even trick him into throwing minions into the antennas, it’s honestly my favorite boss, no competition. Jacques is just a jack-in-the-box come loose. Sure he’s got a creepy green face, sort of, but yeah weakest design and a low spot for the game overall.

There are no motives for these bosses, and heck, you don’t even have to fight them! Spyro The Dragon is a collectathon, and collectibles are required to go to further hub worlds, but it’s pretty easy to get the required amount of collectibles without stepping foot in every level from a world. A boss in Spyro 1 is nothing more than a special level, something where you step in and expect a challenge from a slightly harder foe than normal, and the level itself will even have other gems and dragons to collect that have nothing to do with the boss, even though all of the boss levels are named after the boss! The designs are too good to call them afterthoughts, work was clearly put into them and I find most of them to be fun enough for what they are, but to pretend these are traditional villains is a massive step.

And you know what? These kinds of bosses are rare in games now. Video games have evolved in the story department, heck even the following Spyro games had their stories directly explain the bosses and give them a greater purpose. I love well-written villains and games with great stories, but as I said earlier; Spyro the Dragon is the game that showed me what a video game can really be.

Spyro the Dragon is a fun-first type of game. A classic game that gives you a good enough excuse to run around and collect the collectibles. You have a bad guy you need to take down, and know just enough about him to understand why you should take him down. It doesn’t need a backstory for Toasty, or an epic cutscene where Metalhead breaks down the door and monologues about his desire for evil or revenge or what have you.

All Spyro the dragon needed was a Gnorc who doesn’t like being insulted, and 5 other bosses you can fight before him should you wish to. They’re simple, they’re no threat, and besides, they are ugly. But at the end of it, I love that I’ve fought them so many times. An obstacle with a face, never anything more, and I still cherish them to this day for wearing that concept like a badge of honor.

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*Credit for featured image: All images used property of Sony Interactive, Universal, and Insomniac Games.

The Games Industry Needs To Stop Being Jealous Of Movies

Well here’s a topic I think nearly everybody’s shaken a stick at. But it’s a topic that seems evergreen, so sometimes you just have to add to the pile.

But before we move on to our showcase, let’s have Timothee Chalamee and Margot Robbie take the floor to talk about this next game! Later on, we’ll have Dolly Parton and Arnold Schwarzenegger discuss this cute open-world quadruple-A instant masterpiece with zero percent gameplay; guaranteed!

This little song and dance has been going on for over a decade, both parts of the song and dance honestly. The less subtle dig being this sad fear you see at modern games showcases, where they simply must bring up some celeb who doesn’t give a frog about games, stand there like a deer in headlights, and try and remember what their handler told them to say. Else the whole affair goes to shambles! “But Wyatt, Timothee Chalamee used to mod Xbox 360 controllers!” Whoa, that definitely means he should be on stage instead of an actor who was actually in one of the games getting an award.

If anything though, saying that gaming showcases have no positives to gain by mimicking the Oscars is a separate discussion. Believe it or not, my second dig at the industry’s trends is the meat of this entry.

I am tired of games relying on just their cut scenes to prove they’re good. It’s not 2004 anymore, I’m not that same preteen with no money watching long plays online for my only experience with a game I heard about. I’ve matured, and my pockets even sometimes have money in them! I see video games as video GAMES now, that video part sure is nice and all but I need me some game to continue being interested. And I ain’t alone here you know, the industry even secretly agrees considering how much it’s also still chasing Fortnite, a game that doesn’t come across like a movie you pretend to play. (Although the movie industry may be jealous of Fortnight given the premiere of feature films on the platform).

I’m missing my own points, I think, I’m just a little too mad this is still going on to think straight. Let’s stick to my points by just focusing on one game, a game that currently isn’t out: Indiana Jones and the Great Circle.

It’s amazing how much they’ve perfectly captured the feeling of an Indiana Jones movie, and I say this as someone who thinks Last Crusade suffers from feeling like watered-down Raiders, completely forgetting it’s a love letter to film serials in the process, so it takes a lot to impress me with this franchise.

And as for the gameplay; by this point dawg I’m not even sure it exists. That bit where Indy chucks a sledgehammer right at an enemy’s heart got my attention, but frog me there’s so little else. I want to be fair to Machine Games in that I’ve heard so many other people state they know it will be fun because of how great the Wolfenstein games are, and I still haven’t gotten around to those, so perhaps I’d be less worried if I was familiar with the game feel Machine Games has. However, it’s a weak argument that I shouldn’t be worried about the gameplay of Great Circle just because Wolfenstein was good. I still say I should have seen a deeper gameplay dive by this point, when all we’ve gotten so far is corporate slideshows that briefly discuss different puzzle elements.

They use the word gameplay in the title but it’s a collection of animations. I want a pure gameplay trailer, and the longer I don’t get one, the more I’m genuinely concerned that The Great Circle will be style over substance.

And yes, I do think this came from jealousy. Jealousy of the film industry. See, way back when the PlayStation 3 was still struggling, Naughty Dog did the unthinkable and created Uncharted. Ultimately not much more than a love letter to, well funny enough, Indiana Jones and the film serials that inspired it. Uncharted had pretty simple combat and overall gameplay, nothing terrible mind you, just more serviceable than anything else, but also put a big emphasis on capturing the swooping cameras and lighting of blockbuster films. It set the gaming world on fire.

Which is fine in and of itself. There’s a video inside of me that wants to discuss why Uncharted doesn’t strike me with remotely the same fervor it did everyone else, but I certainly don’t hate Uncharted for existing, nor do I blame it for what happened next.

More games started copying those camera angle choices and jumped into having bigger and better cutscenes. We also have both Uncharted 2 and Red Dead Redemption 1 to point to the moments when gaming suddenly had story writing most people considered good. There were good stories before those two, but the common opinion was that no games had real storytelling, with RDR and Uncharted 2 being the first to truly challenge that notion.

Red Dead Redemption I do hold the same fervor as everyone else did, but that doesn’t mean I love how many games these days now shoot for story over gameplay. RDR at least balanced gameplay and writing to be equally important, something its own prequel doesn’t even try (I love RDR 2 but there’s little defending many aspects of the gameplay as those are very much style over substance).

I’m sure some of you are hoping I trash The Last Of Us next, but hey, since I didn’t gell with Uncharted I never gave LOU a playthrough, so I don’t have opinions on how it treats story over gameplay. I can say I remember people loving the gameplay and especially the multiplayer of the original, and never hear anyone talk about the sequel’s gameplay unless it’s in a trailer for one of their endless remasters.

If we want to use hard evidence all of this stems from a jealousy of films, instead of just innovating the existing styles; we have no evidence harder than the fact cutscenes are now called cinematics. When and how did we let that change happen? Cinematics, pffp, yeah because when I play Conker I wish I was in a cinema. The Great Mighty Poo needs to be experienced in 4K UHD surround sound while my shoes are stuck to the floor from a cola stain older than I am. Wouldn’t be immersed without it.

The sad thing is this scenario has already started to happen. When the HBO Last Of Us came out (side note; it may have been for the already-forgotten Uncharted movie), Sony got famous YouTubers to go to A CINEMA to not just watch the first episode but ALSO USED THE SPACE TO PLAY UNCHARTED! I’m sorry, but you didn’t convince me Uncharted is a masterpiece, you accidentally claimed your game is just a movie.

Every medium has its own strengths and weaknesses, and while there is overlap, that doesn’t mean you can copy one-to-one. Hell, I’m the kind of person who for years has been saying a great game is a closer experience to the immersion and personal-attachment that a good book can give you. Visuals be damned! That doesn’t mean I want games to be just like books, not even Visual Novels, because even those should focus on the gameplay aspect that only video games provide.

It’s why LEGO games can be still charming with only minor changes to their formula every few entries. People like to rag on Pokemon when the stories are mid, but the original game has the midest story of the bunch and still remains the best seller, almost as if the selling point is how good it feels to catch the monsters.

Stories don’t make games. Graphics do not guarantee a game. There’s been some good cash by chasing movies, but rose-colored glasses tend to fade. I’m sure Uncharted, Last of Us, Horizon, new God of War, Red Dead 2, et all., will continue having lifelong fans who adore their stories. But, those exact fans also love the gameplay loops. People keep saying a games crash is coming, and frankly, it’s not. Not to the extent people seem to think anyway. But we are very likely on the cusp of a massive industry shift. And if there’s anything worth losing in this shift, it’s big-budget games sniffing the asses of blockbuster movies.

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Featured Image Credits: Microsoft, Machine Games, Sony Interactive, Naughty Dog, The Game Awards

EVERY GAME I PLAYED IN 2021! (PART 1)

It looks like we have a yearly tradition on this blog now, where I pull out an Excel document that catalogued all the video games I played to completion the previous year and say my thoughts on each one. A little bit later than the last time, but considering I made a 2-hour video in January about my favorite art/media experiences of both 2020 and 2021, I think it’s fair to say I had good reason.

That said, the 2021 games that made it into that video won’t be covered as deeply for this second time, I go over them pretty well in the video so I’ll only share thoughts that skipped my mind. I also won’t at all be covering the games I reviewed separately on my YouTube channel, there’s not even enough left for quick thoughts due to the nature of the games I reviewed. While I was originally going to make an exception for Doki Doki Literature Club Plus, it made it into the 2-hour retrospective so there’s no air left anymore other than to say again it’s an all-time favorite and a 10 out of 10 I highly recommend.

With the formalities out of the way, let’s begin:

- Shrek Super Slam -

I bought a Nintendo GameCube off of eBay at the start of 2021, with the intention of not just diving into retro gaming after some disillusion with modern gaming, but also because I no longer own my childhood PlayStation 2 let alone it’s games and felt it would be interesting to try different versions of some of those games if I have to buy them again anyway.

Super Slam had to be first as it was my first PlayStation 2 game, and yet honestly even I am surprised it still held up as well as it did playing it again. This was a great test to get used to the controller as muscle-memory came back quickly, as did the reasons why this game is very fun. I have very little complaints about it, which is why it got a mention in the video and unironically so. I ended up completing all the bonus objectives, unlocked every character and stage, even did them a bit faster than I expected as some challenges seemed pretty hard even with the prior knowledge. Admittedly some of that was control or timer based and once I got it things went much easier.

Just a very solid fighting game with the characters from the first two Shrek films, and even brand new characters that fit the world and style so well part of me always wondered if they’d be used for a future film. Like I said, the right choice to test out the GameCube.

8/10

- Madagascar The Video Game -

I suppose it really isn’t shocking the next game for the GameCube was also a Dreamworks game. I’m also going to break a few hearts now and say this is the last GameCube game on the list, as while I did play around with some other games I bought, this was the last one I beat and that’s the criteria.

Again the PS2 version is from my childhood, as is the film, and both of those things have aged a bit to me much more than the Shrek examples. Madagascar the film is mediocre with some great moments, and honestly so is the video game, I guess it’s a perfect adaptation despite how much it deviates! Marty, Alex, Gloria, and Melman do all feel fine to control and the environments work quite nice. The Penguins are an okay change-up but they felt a lot less fun than I remembered and a bit more stiff. The game is a bit slower too, and I think it’s because I’m older and not because of the different hardware, I doubt the PS2 version actually felt different than the GameCube version ultimately.

That said, some jokes land well and again nothing in the gameplay is really offensive or unplayable. This licensed game reeks of needing too much free-time with nothing else to play, I think I liked it more as a kid due to a limited library and now that I don’t have that, it’s just an alright game I have nostalgia for instead of a game I’ll play a lot. Will definitely go back to the Shrek game more often.

5/10

- Red Dead Revolver -

I’d previously played the second and third Red Dead games, I’ve even covered my thoughts on Red Dead Redemption II both on this blog and that already mentioned video, but until 2021 I hadn’t played the very original Red Dead game. Revolver, from the PS2 era and one of the few games picked up for the “PS2 on PS4” program, all shiny with HD upscaling and trophy support. I’ve talked fondly of the program and a couple of those games already, but unfortunately I won’t be as fond speaking of this specific game.

For it’s time it would not have been all too bad, but by today it feels very confused in what it wants to do. A lot of games were back then, trying to mix things up and experiment, give something unique and for the time a lot of that experimenting worked for me. Even the Madagascar game I just discussed did that exact same situation with it’s rotating cast of playable characters. Heck, while I don’t like I game I do understand what it was going for and can understand if there’s still a fanbase.

Red Dead Revolver is a love-letter to both the corny westerns and the more serious ones, it’s always silly but people are still dying with chunks of blood and gore flying out of them. It’s very arcade-like, something I would not mind trying again with this series despite how far away that is from Redemption II.

It’s too hard for pointless reasons a lot of the time, I was actually enjoying the first levels a lot for the atmosphere and hints of story but after the cliff level not only did the difficulty spike rear it’s head far too high, but the disjointed nature of the story did as well. There’s tons of playable characters and they all have to connect to this plot and I wish they didn’t. This would have worked better as vignettes if they wanted to keep the multiple characters, or they would have had to scrap the other characters besides Red if they wanted to keep the story.

I got a big mad at it some times, but like some other retro games I’ve played I think it was good for it’s time but now something I give a negative score to as I don’t see the point of going back to it. Madagascar the game had nostalgia going for it so maybe this game is actually better, but this game also annoyed me much more anyway.

4/10

- Fallout 4 -

As I said in the video, I love this game and really don’t care about the things some long-time fans feel isn’t up to snuff. The crafting is fun and rewarding, the quests are great to complete, the world still feels realized and unique, the characters are both lovable and hateable in the right circumstances. I don’t mind the loss of the karma system since it’s clear to me the companion system has taken it’s place and effectively so. While I can see why the story writing is considered weaker to many, I don’t really see that as so bad a thing since this game is more fun than the previous ones and again the character writing is still great in the right places. New Vegas does branching a bit better but even then I feel overwhelmed by that game and don’t honestly feel every choice is as fleshed out as others feels. 3 is more concrete in the binary path of it’s main plot and the open-ness of the side stuff, so yes while there is a bit less choice for the side content here in 4 again there are at least things it does with the combat and companions that I am okay with the trade-off, and 4 is more open in it’s main story as you can flip whenever you want until it’s finally time to make your decision, and it makes it clear how final that decision is.

And as usual, the DLC is great. The story ones are fun and add new ideas and characters, and the creation stuff honestly gave me more than I expected and actually help out way more than I thought. I had only played the Xbox One version before, and with my new PS4 copy from that year I managed to earn every single PlayStation trophy in the span of only a month or so, and even with the prior knowledge that is a relatively small amount of time. Those tickets were the biggest nightmare, even making a whole settlement happy wasn’t as time-consuming

I really love this entry and my complaints are incredibly minor. 3, 4, and New Vegas are all thrown into a pile that fans pick their favorite out of, and honestly I don’t think that’s fair to any of them as each one does have unique attributes that just get ignored or outright insulted if it’s not the favorite, something I’m guilty of too. Ultimately it’s the one I play the most of the three and I think I’ve stated my reasons well enough. It’s also a Bethesda game and so it’s too buggy and clunky to be perfect, but when you have a favorite you ignore that for the score anyway so here we go:

10/10, but like a buggy and clunky 10 so theoretically a low 9 or a high 8 that I love like a perfect 10 despite itself.

- Spider-Man PS4 -

I suppose let’s “rip the band-aid off now” despite how really it’s not a band-aid and wouldn’t even need a description like that if game opinions didn’t cause so much pointless debate versus other media.

This game is fine. Sometimes pretty good and very fun, certainly above mediocre, but at the end of the day it’s fine.

While very competent and again quite fun plenty of times, part of me wonders if this game kicking out the sour taste of bad Spider-Man games is why some people really latched onto it like they did. For quite a while this fairly new game was “the best Spider-Man game ever!” and while it’s still very highly regarded I am seeing that statement slightly die. Sure, there are some concepts done better here than in previous Spider-Man games.

The gadgets really feel fleshed out and are a great evolution of not just this character but also from Insomniacs Ratchet & Clank games. The way it treats collectibles is a highlight, once you unlock one type you can just immediately go collect all of them without any need to unlocked another ability or finish a story beat, once it’s on the map you can grab it. You also don’t need the gold medal in every challenge in terms of in-game completion bonus nor the trophies, bronze is good enough, and as someone who is getting tired and annoyed at how much you have to do in some games I love that Insomniac recognizes that beating something with a good score really is enough plenty of times. There’s a lot of technical things right with this game, enough that I do think playing it again might make the score higher.

But let’s cut the chase for real here:

This story is stale and not always interesting. I heard plenty of people say this is one of the best Spider-Man stories ever, and I could only find myself agreeing with that if I read and played a lot of Spider-Man stories and found them full-on bad or boring. I didn’t like having to get back together with Mary Jane as it felt cliched and incredibly tired considering how often I see these two have relationship issues in other stores. The corny jokes sometimes just felt genuinely not funny instead of “ha ha the characters think he’s not funny”. I also think the villains are sometimes there just to be there, which isn’t too different than other superhero games but as an Arkham fan I also know it can be done so much better now that I felt more should have been done since there is a bit of Arkham influence here, hopefully next time there are more villains whom are only in side quests instead of forced into the main plot as that helps so much so.

Again, I think it’s worth another try, but I also think I’ve enjoyed a lot more Spider-Man games more than I did this. Mechanically it’s fantastic, but plot and character wise I wasn’t nearly as strong. Maybe that won’t bother me a second time and I can just melt into the combat and web-zipping instead.

6.5/10

- Super Mario 3D World -

This one got a full segment in the video, not just tacked on during the montage like Fallout 4 and Shrek Super Slam, so it’s just best to mostly skip this one. As I said there, it’s such a fun game and I didn’t even play Bowser’s Fury yet! Sometimes jumping around as Mario is all I need as he and his friends control so incredibly well, and this series really understands that games are often at their best when they are fun.

9/10

- Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trilogy -

Mostly can say the same thing here as 3D World, but I am also going to do something I realized during the video editing made much more sense to do here in the blog post. I will quickly chop up my thoughts on each individual game in the set:

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney - Amazing how well this first game holds up and how much it can pull you in. Despite sometimes feeling non-sensical, once it pulls you back in it feels so right you don’t care anymore. Lovely story and great introduction to the series.

Justice for All - Weaker, but not always. Some cases feel so good and the new gameplay mechanics do feel right at home, as do the new story ideas that pay off very well both here and later.

Trails and Tribulations - Easily the best, a near perfect culmination and great send-off for this story arc. Best cases out of the three even with how iconic some of the early ones are.

8/10 - Ace Attorney

7/10 - Justice For All

9/10 - Trails and Tribulations

- Dead Rising 2 -

I’m in a weird spot with this game in that, a lot of me swears I’ve talked about it off-hand on this blog before but I really don’t have a clue if that’s true or not. It could have been on a post I deleted when I revamped the blog, it could be something that never made the cut the first time, I could have never actually done it, and it could just be staring me in the face and I don’t know where to look!

I love Dead Rising 2, it’s a favorite of mine and that’s why it was the first game I played after I was finally able to move back into my apartment. I played it on the Xbox One where everything feels buttery smooth and just like many other times I went from start to finish without any worry on what to do.

The Dead Rising games not only have zombies as the antagonistic force, there are also human villains and an in-game timer. It’s wise to just play the game without trying to beat it when you first go in, as you carry your level and such when you start over. If you keep at it, you can even master the games to the point where just like I said, you actually can start at level one and beat the whole game no problem. You’ll have spare time, bosses won’t be such a hassle, and you’ll get the golden ending while barely even having to pay attention.

I really need to remember my own advice and finish Dead Rising 1 some day. I gave up because it felt hard, but of course it did, that was also how Dead Rising 2 felt the first time I played it and it’s such a long ago memory I have to remind myself I once truly sucked at it. If I can get this good at Dead Rising 2 I can also master the original, but I’m positive I will still prefer this sequel. It’s a game with a time limit that is somehow a fun blast and practically soothing to the soul. I love it, from blood to guts to combo weapons to psychopaths to orange juice.

10/10

- Dragon Ball FighterZ -

When it comes to FighterZ, it’s placement on the list is not so much that I finally played the game this year, it’s that I decided to finally finish it. I enjoy fighting games but am not all that great at them, and sometimes I get through some or even most of the story campaign and just end up telling myself I’ll finish it some other day. That was the case for FighterZ even though I was really enjoying my time with it.

Dragon Ball FighterZ is a mechanically well-structured game, even as someone bad at fighting games I found combos easy to figure out and the characters felt different to play while rewardingly so when I found ones I liked. I stuck with mostly Majin Buu, Krillin, Vegeta, and Nappa, so when it came to the final story arc and I was stuck with Android’s 16 and 18 it was a bit too jarring and then I just forgot to finish it.

But, I picked it back up, learned how to play as those two and finally finished the story. It was worth it as now I can play as Android 21, so the roster is close to full (I don’t have the DLC). I can picture coming back to it, doing the story again with the characters I’ve enjoyed playing as the most. All in all, there’s lots of reasons this is considered one of if not the best Dragon Ball games.

8/10

- Halo The Master Chief Collection -

As said in the video, I decided to get the collectibles across all the games in this collection. I may be short one data pad, but I got everything else. Every skull, every terminal, countless easter eggs and I even did a lot of the playlists. The playlists personally sell this collection for me more than anything else, the remaster of 2 is beautiful but if there’s any gameplay improvements to 3 I can’t tell and I’ve played 3 a lot. I’m also fairly critical of Halo 1, and even though I liked Halo 4 it’s not one I go back to much. ODST and Reach were great additions, but again, I mostly play this game by opening up a playlist I haven’t done yet.

This has become a game I just play when I want to listen to some podcasts and the like. I assumed that might end when I got the collectibles, but since there’s still some playlists left, that may not be changing anytime soon after all. A great collection and one of the best releases on the Xbox One, which admittedly showcases how few first-party releases there were and why Microsoft really needed the change ups that thankfully seem to be happening in full force.

10/10

- Batman Arkham Knight -

Arkham Knight got a very decent amount of time in the big video, so I will wrap up my thoughts pretty well with some stuff I didn’t mention.

Did you know that during the opening where you play as the cop, there’s a bit where a nightmare citizen grabs you and forces your hand in the air after you’ve drawn your gun, and you can fire all of your bullets harmlessly into the ceiling? If you do, you can still keep clicking it empty after you are freed, so you don’t end up killing any of the civilians.

Also, massive spoiler so feel free to skip, but you know when Joker finally takes over Batman’s body and you gun down the rogue’s gallery in Batman’s head? Riddler hides behind a hostage and you’re supposed to just fire your shotgun as Joker would never care. BUT, if you angle it right, you will only kill The Riddler and the hostage does in fact survive, she cowers in fear but the game acknowledges you avoided killing her as she even mumbles to herself. It’s such a nice little touch you the player can do, and in a way, technically foreshadows that Joker really isn’t fully in control like he thinks. Batman did not allow him to kill an innocent.

Great game that I understand why I hated it first go around. First time playing, a 4 or even a 3, but on replay?

8/10

- Dead Rising 2: Off The Record -

When I bought the Xbox One version of vanilla Dead Rising 2, I actually purchased the bundle with DR 1 and Off The Record. Off The Record for those that don’t know is an example of a practice Capcom is fairly fond of, taking a game they already released and making a brand new version of it that’s mostly the same but with minor changes that do add to the formula in sometimes big ways. It’s a mixed practice, sometimes this new version is the better by far and sometimes it’s weaker but still at least contains what you loved from the regular game.

The latter is my feelings for Off The Record. I can see why some fans might like this version better; Frank West has a dedicated fanbase and it’s earned as he does have a unique character that is admittedly less cliched than Chuck Green. There are some new survivors whom are just as interesting as the regular ones, and the returning survivors and psychopaths mostly feel no different so they basically at least still work as well as they normally do. There is some new dialogue both spoken and written to re-justify some of the scenarios and they don’t detract nor add other than sometimes it’s pretty funny to watch a survivor gush over Frank as it’s so poorly timed on their part between the zombie outbreak and Frank’s fallen stardom.

I really don’t like the new final boss fight though. The special ending secret boss has a new phase I also really didn’t like but I’m mostly talking about the basic final boss, whom I could not figure out the pattern to.

Sandbox mode was a great addition though, allowing the player to have an overtime mode without going through a game over is a fun concept even if you can level up way faster as the game wasn’t really ready for the amount of PP you get from taking pictures.

It’s a solid and fun game, based on a much better game, but like I said I can actually imagine people preferring this version so all-in-all I think this was a worthwhile experiment this time.

7/10

And there we have the end of part 1. Part 2 will be coming soon, probably before this week is over but we will see. Thanks for reading.

Celebrating (and criticizing) The Villains of Pokémon! (Just the anime)

A few weeks ago, we looked at the villains from the mainline games, so it is only natural to take a hard look at the evildoers and ne’er-do-wells from the animation side of the franchise.

Now, there’s one ground rule here and I think you’ll it acceptable:

This is ONLY anime-only villains. We will not be looking at anime versions of the game villains. I’ll certainly mention them in relevant cases, but analyzing anime version of games characters isn’t what this post is about, just what characters they created as villains for the anime. Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely some fairly iconic versions of game villains from the anime. We can’t forget the beauty that is Giovanni’s ugly orange suit.

I actually wish that was a joke, but if you look again at the top image you’ll see that orange suits were a recurring trend in the anime. Ash even wore one once.

From our favorite failure trio, to the cruel hunters, to the fun psychos, there’s so many memorable villains that they make the forgettable villains even more forgettable. We’ll talk about prominent anime villains, the movie villains, and the villains from both TV movies. There’s almost a thousand episodes and over twenty films, so while we can’t get to everyone, we’ll certainly still talk a lot about who we have time for.

And of course, there is a Patreon to help keep this blog chugging! While you certainly don’t need to pledge, anything helps and is certainly appreciated! Now, on to the evils with Pokémon animation!

- Blasting Off Forever -

The team that not only was a lot of people’s favorite childhood villains, let’s be real here, they were very likely a lot of people’s first childhood crushes! The level of popularity Jessie, James, Meowth and even late comer Wobbuffet is something even other popular mainstream works can be jealous of. I have no clue about just how popular the show remains in it’s native Japan, but it’s still so popular over here that it’s jumped from Warner, to Disney, to Netflix in terms of who gets to boost their ratings by airing it. And a large part of that charm over here is the near-definitive evil squad goals set by these four. Despite, you know, how they tend to be incompetent most of the time…..

That’s not to say they haven’t pulled off a heist or gotten away with anything. Longtime fans or those just starting over fresh will note that in their introduction episode they are wanted and even feared criminals. It’s all a matter of character development, the show took off to levels no one expected and it’s hard to have your villains be stale and flat if you do so, and I think something that ended up resonating was how instead of keeping up that threat level, dropping it early on after enough failures, then proceeding to make fun of those failures, made this nice splash of comedy that appealed to even parents who had to watch the show with their children.

It’s a basic rule of comedy that if someone does a bad thing, punishing them thusly is usually funny, so the Team Rocket Trio got stuck in this lovely little mix of both being the recurring series villains yet also as if they were just sitcom jerks, if you will. They wanted to steal Pikachu, and on occasion were more petty than that and just jerks to everyone, or had their sights set on a biggest prize like a rare Pokémon or a treasure. A set-up scaled accordingly to the scale of the episode, and something that made you laugh when they were sent hurdling into the sky.

Of course, with popularity comes sympathy when you are the punching bag. We would later find out James was a rich kid who felt empty in his life and had to flee home after being forced into an arranged marriage with an abusive future spouse, all when he was still only 8 years old or so. Meowth it turns out learned how to speak to get the affections of another Meowth who loved humans and wouldn’t give him the time of day since he was a stray, only for those affections to still be thrown in his face with insults that he was a freak and a loser. Jessie is the odd woman out in that her past is rarely shown and didn’t really get an episode dealing with her past, but we do know that she grew up so poor that snow was considered a delicacy and there’s Japan-only audio plays that reveal her mother was a Team Rocket executive whom was Giovanni’s personal favorite before her disappearance and/or death. It’s a shame 4Kids was never given the chance to dub those, nor the newer dub from The Pokémon Company, as it not only truly expands her character but it explains why Giovanni will never fire the three outside of just rules of the show, his personal connection to the character you could argue is the de facto leader of the three.

With only the power of guessing, these backstories are a mix of the writing team really wanting to add to these characters whom are in every episode after introduction, and the sympathetic angles are all due to the characters already being pitied and loved by the fanbase. I remember being a kid and both finding it funny when they blasted off but also genuinely feeling bad for them when their humanity was showcased.

Speaking of their humanity, there’s an episode very near to my heart that I feel isn’t talk about nearly enough. The episode where we said goodbye to two of the show’s original cast. No, not Misty and Brock. I mean Arbok and Weezing:

I’ll always say that a great yet overlooked season was the start of Advanced. They explained Ash’s continued journey very well, introduced May effectively, added new and lovable Pokémon for all the cast including the Rockets, and gave a goodbye to some characters you really wouldn’t have expected to get one.

Ekans and Koffing were in the very beginning, and yet these days I feel both Meowth and Wobbuffet are the remembered Pokémon of the Rocket cast. In fact, the Pokémon Jessie and James actually use seem to rotate out these days. The anime seems to wait on which Pokémon get either a “cute” and/or “creepy” reaction from their respective games and let the Rockets catch it, but in the early days they always had Ekans whom evolved into Arbok and Koffing whom evolved into Weezing. Lickitung and Victreebell were around too, but Lickitung got traded for Wobbuffet accidently and I hear Victreebell just fell in love and ran away. No Pokémon outside of the big blue blob and the wisecracking cat got respect with the exception of the smog cloud and the purple snake.

In the episode A Poached Ego, the Trio come across a poacher named Rico who specializes in catching poison-type Pokémon. Not only is he stealing several Ekans and Koffing, he threatens the Rockets into giving up their Arbok and Weezing after they refuse. What we end up getting in this episode is one where Ash and the gang are not the protagonists, and one where we see our beloved baddies take a beating to save some wild Pokémon instead of steal them for themselves. Poachers have always been a harsher evil in the series than the typical villains, they’d get even worse later on, and in this outing poacher Rico is a villain who makes the Rockets look much better by comparison and is one of the times they show competence and technically get the chance to win.

It’s an episode near to me as I really never expected to say goodbye to the loyal henchmen, and yet I’m glad I did since I was always into humanization for Jessie, James and Meowth. After Hoenn, the full series no longer followed a full canon as much, which also means this moment is one of the last true impacts for the overall story. James catches Cacnea later in the episode, and Jessie catches Seviper not long after, both those catches managed to have a familiarity while being their own Pokémon.

By this point in my life, I try to watch a few episodes for the newest series but have my full pretty early and call it good. That’s not saying I’m even all that positive of the older episodes barring certain stand-alone episodes, certain arcs, and especially certain movies. What I’m getting at is, I don’t have much to talk about with modern Team Rocket, but I’m also aware by this point they are stuck in the same loop Ash is in, where they are just legacy characters and as such they’ve lost a lot of their deeper characterization due to how the serialization has kicked in from longevity, but do have their moments. I’m ultimately fine with this now, it’s just what happened, but obviously the golden age for Jessie, James and Meowth has passed and I’m still so glad we got what we got. They wanted to steal Pikachu, but I think even they know they just ended up stealing our hearts. Sometimes nasty, constantly funny, and more compassionate and caring the more they got the spotlight. Fans often love writing happy endings for them for a reason.

- The Movie Villains -

Elephant in the room time; there are too many movies with villains to give them all equal time. Ultimately there’s shared types we can discuss, but even then it gets a bit much just because there really is a lot of them. We have redeemable villains, pure evil villains, underdeveloped villains, and weirdly there’s a specific motive many villains end up sharing due to the popularity of the earliest example. If you don’t believe me in that there’s so many, I literally made a collage for every movie character who could be considered a villain:

The best part? I decided to not count animalistic Pokémon or forces of nature that could not be considered villains even when antagonists, so no, THIS IS NOT EVERY ANTAGONIST FROM THE MOVIES, ONLY THE VILLAINS! And yes, some of these characters are in the same movie, but even still, this is why I can’t talk about each one individually. We’ll instead talk about the recurring types of villains, first the least evil, to more evil, then the most evil, and then the overly-specific goal many of them shared. Now, I realize you can’t really tell whom all these characters are, and even if I’d numbered them I don’t think saying their number would really help you see whom is whom, so I’ll give a quick description of their looks.

To start off with the least evil, we have the easy answer of movie villains who sought redemption at their end or even just in the credits epilogue. Just under Mewtwo is a white-haired villain name Zero, which accurately describes how I felt about him during the movie but to be fair does NOT describe his personality. Zero wants to summon Giratina, goes to very brutal lengths to do so, but within the movie a former friend of Zero’s teams up with Ash, Dawn, and Brock to stop his former friend yet very openly wants to patch things up with him. I led with him to start the latter description, as Zero doesn’t do anything seemingly redeemable in the movie but in the credits of the following movie there’s a hint his old friend convinced him to come back to the side of good. The first three Diamond & Pearl movies were canon with each other and led into each other, so using the end credits of the final film to redeem a villain was actually my favorite part of Zero. While it wouldn’t have worked in his actual movie, having the breathing room and also after a darker yet more sympathetic villain in the following movie made Zero seem not beyond hope after all.

Someone who did seem way too beyond hope was red Genesect, leader of the evil Genesect group in the final Best Wishes film and a thoroughly disgusting and just plain badly written character. Red Genesect refused to understand what was going on after waking up in a new world and took it out on innocent people, and genuinely was just as bad to his own lackeys. Yet, we are supposed to believe that seeing the Earth from space was enough to make him turn good, and it’s completely unbelievable. Red Genesect is considered one of the worst villains in the anime’s history and I completely agree. he’s irredeemable and not even interesting before the unbelievable redemption. The movie itself felt pointless and it’s villain no exception.

To round off the redeemed we’ll go with a pair: Butler and Molly. Molly is the little girl at the top and Butler is the purple haired man right under her. Molly loses both of her parents from completely mysterious reasons and Butler is a former Team Magma scientist who was laughed out of the organization. Molly gains a friendship with the Unown and ends up reeking havoc in her town while Butler seeks to create an artificial Groudon. The Unown seem to be acting without specific purpose and thus weren’t included in my villains collage, but fake Groudon drains the life out of everything it sees and seemingly is actively malicious so it was included to the left of Butler. In both these baddies cases, neither truly know the damage they were committing until they nearly won, and both were redeemed through the power of love. Molly is promised by Ash’s mother that she has more people in her life who care about her than she thought, and Butler finally realizes just how much Diana cared about him. They are favorites of mine for almost the exact same reasons, but they are still different characters with different motivations and reasons. Molly is the more sympathetic while Butler genuinely needs to learn his lesson, for starters.

Of course, some movie villains get a bit meaner, and even when having good moments do not receive redemption.

These are the least common, so we’ll only do two. The red-head with a weird hairdo at the bottom left is Markus, and the pirate captain near the middle is Phantom. Markus forsees the ruination of his people and decides to turn against not just his close friends but also Arceus themselves whom is treated like a harvest God or the like, while Phantom is only out for a great jewel but does live by a personal moral code and treats his enemies with some respect and his crew well. Both baddies receive very different ends, Phantom’s muscle-building suit gets broken and he’s arrested by the Pokémon Rangers, while Markus has his platform crumble around him and falls to his death.

Both are villains I like quite a bit. I understood why Markus felt the way he did despite seeing him as needing to be stopped, while Phantom proved to be entertaining and threatening. Markus still believed in protecting his home and people, he was just willing to sacrifice too much and grew ruthless despite not losing sight of his goals. Phantom was only out for the riches but is willing to give Team Rocket a cleaning job without problem, and is visibly sad that he wasn’t the one to hatch Manaphy’s egg. Neither are walking a line as both are clearly evil, but both have moments of humanity which was not always the case for movie villains that didn’t get redemption.

So then, we need to talk about the villains whom had nothing but evil in their hearts. Grings Kodai and The Iron Masked Marauder will do for now, but we do have some more once we leave the realm of movies.

Grings Kodai is the guy on the bottom with the purple hair spun up into what just looks like a beret. The thing about Kodai is that, he’s literally just a ruthless business man. Using the legendary Pokémon Celebi he goes forward into time to see what the best investments and decisions are, so like many men of his ilk, he is taking the easy way out to ensure he and only he is the king of the marketplace and richer than he would ever need to be. No, it’s not a unique motive yet it is a unique way to achieving the motive. What’s next is how using Celebi like that brings instant ruin around the spot, and Kodai already knows this because it happened last time he did it, he brags about how he couldn’t care less that it is likely to turn out the exact same way. He’s also kidnapped another Pokémon and nearly tortures a child Pokémon to death. Kodai is just a cold CEO without anything to stop him and does whatever he wants, which despite the fantasy element of Pokémon running around proves there can be villains who feel close to home. The question is if he works as an antagonist or not. The fanbase is split, some people really love how evil Kodai is and some people think he’s too flat for them. I’m in the middle, I think they went far enough that his evil is threatening and realistic enough to be interesting, but like the rest of the film there is just something that didn’t fully get my interest anyway. He’s still one of the biggest monsters from the films, and he’s earned his spot in the minds of his fans as far as I’m concerned.

Then the other pure evil film character who funnily enough also deserved the power of Celebi, the Iron Masked Marauder whom is pictured in the top right with a goatee, a black Pokeball and of course an Iron Mask covering his face. While Kodai was a character that came really close to intriguing me, Marauder is a villain I found did not work. His plan felt too much like it needed to change randomly for the sake of the plot, his motives never felt completely established. Not only that, but for a character whom the entire cast feared and who is clearly meant to have no altruistic qualities, he never goes so far to be shocking which is a very important aspect for this kind of character. Kodai could believable kill someone on-screen, but the Marauder came across as somebody who wouldn’t have realized that was an option. Kodai wins at being more evil and Marauder loses the contest of overall better villain.

I said I’d talk about the most recurring theme of motivation, and to my own lack of surprise, I’ve already mentioned a few of those villains already.

In the top middle with spiky green hair is Lawrence the Third, the villain of Pokémon The Movie: 2000 and the start the biggest movie trend. For all the love Mewtwo got, it was his immediate successor who really shaped how the movies flowed. Lawrence the Third was a collector, his only goal was to capture legendary Pokémon to see with whatever he saw fit, in his case to have a private museum.

Which later inspired the writers of Zero to make him want Giratina. For Iron Masked Marauder and Grings Kodai to want Celebi. Phantom to want Manaphy. Butler to want Jirachi and technically Groudon. A quick glance up at my own collage, and yes, at least half of the villains had their plans revolve purely around catching the legendary Pokémon on the poster for personal dirty deeds. Sometimes the Pokémon are pretty much unrelated but mostly, they need to catch the Pokémon and often are fully obsessed with them. It’s a motive that, well, completely makes sense for the premise of the franchise itself making it both unsurprising it was used so often, shocking it took them until the second film to do it, and also a bit tired for a couple of films. Sometimes the depth wasn’t there, and fans such as myself called the villain a '“Lawrence the Third clone”. Other time it was stellar and fans such as myself would point out exactly why this example worked.

When used well you can use the legendary Pokémon for trivial things like ancient treasures, or grand things like saving your nation at a horrible cost. Other times you have a character with a motive that feels like, nothing, just an excuse to give this legendary Pokémon their turn on the poster. The difference between nothing but marketing, and making a form of art despite the origins of marketing.

And speaking of, did any of you know there were TV specials made in honor of franchise milestones? the first was a celebration and sequel to the first anime film, and the second was the 10th anniversary of the anime!

- Special Agent 009 In: Mastermind No -

Mewtwo Returns sees Giovanni finally track down the formerly evil Mewtwo to try and force him back into Team Rocket, and we are also introduced to his top agent coded double-o-nine. She called herself Domino, and the fanbase called her the reason to watch the special.

When it came to Mastermind of Mirage Pokémon, the Mastermind is revealed to be none other than the good Doctor Yung, a researcher kicked out and disgraced for his apathy towards Pokémon as beings and obsession with creating the most powerful versions of them.

Both characters were dripping with evil, Domino clearly loving combat and not afraid to threaten killing a baby Pokémon to intimidate someone into cooperation or information. Dr. Yung claims to be doing everything for research but clearly loves watching his Mirage Pokémon attack both real Pokémon and humans, and has no empathy towards not only his perceived flawed specimen but even for the ones he deems a success.

Dr. Yung is less remembered since his special is infamous in the West, it was the first piece of anime to be dubbed after 4Kids lost the license and fans were truly not happy to lose the voices they associated with Ash and company. As such, I can’t tell you what people think of Dr. Yung since he’s rarely talked about. Personally, I really liked him and he is one of the few villains I wish came back. The special is rushed at forty minutes, so more time with this total madman obsessed with stronger and more powerful fake Pokémon had a lot of potential. Instead, he ends his special shrugging his shoulders that his ultimate mirage Mewtwo was felled in battle and walks back into his laboratory as it burns and crumbles. Ash and the gang assume he had a plan to escape, which felt true to a character like Yung who did plan his steps out well, but thanks to the fact he never appeared again I do know at least one YouTube channel considers him to have just committed suicide. Considering continuity is not completely flowing in the newer seasons, Dr. Yung may as well have died since I doubt we’ll ever see him again. It’s a shame, as I always loved the character maybe more than the special, and I do quite enjoy the special for what it is.

But like a lot of fans, there’s barely a single villain whom stuck out to me more than Domino.

The black-and-white Rocket outfit that was used on every Rocket member besides our main trio just looks so unique on Domino thanks to the pink highlights and the pink-and-white hat. From a design point alone you do kind of get her personality, there are hints of a bubbly and fun type inside her and she’s not afraid of finding things cute. However that’s not to say she’s a softy, she’s also fun and bubbly when it comes to the carnage and cruelty. She’s not a punch-clock type, she openly enjoys committing evil and unlike most Rocket members she is VERY good at it, out performing everyone around her. Fans have even noticed she is the only on-screen Rocket member to talk back to Giovanni, it’s never attempted by another and all she gets is him hanging up on her and only when she does it a couple of times. Anime Giovanni is able to feel apathy towards his cronies and often does, so seeing one of them get angry at him without consequence is just some weird layer we’ll only be able to speculate about. She’s taken out by a fluke and even that isn’t a mark against her, for me it’s something to note how it’s pure luck that can beat her when nothing else did.

The special made it to DVD and VHS in the states and Domino alone is many people’s reason to wish it was more widely available all these years later. It’s not on digital and hasn’t been in print for years, so it’s an item worth scouring garage sales and Goodwill’s for.

Both of these TV specials gave us villains who were outwardly cruel, devious, intelligent. Villains whom needed a combined effort from both the entire cast as well as other Pokémon to lose, let alone budge. Both were characters I would have loved to see again, and yet, both of whom I’m aware I partly love because we only got them once. Dr. Yung was pure evil, Domino had the slightest bit of a heart but crossed many lines onscreen with a smile on her face. They had many things in common, but ultimately two different types of villains, some of my favorite of the anime. Between them and my general taste for the specials, it really makes me wish the anime did more specials, which admittedly seems to finally be happening between Generations and Twilight Wings.

And now, to leave the grand melodrama of the films and the minor melodrama of the TV specials. Let’s get back to the nitty gritty. Let’s talk about the villains who only appeared in one episode, but dang did they make those episodes something.

- Lasting Evil Impressions -

Okay so, I forgot that in the thumbnail I used a character we did see more than one episode of. I guess, screw it, let’s talk about Pokémon Hunter J:

J is a notable villain, she’s both a third party and also an expansion for a game villain team. See, as the name implies, Hunter J is a Pokémon poacher. A type of villain usually saved for darker storylines in the anime as already discussed with Rico and The Iron Masked Marauder. J was hired by the anime’s version of Cyrus to capture the Lake Trio for his plan, also making her a part of Team Galactic. Still she was introduced as a stand-alone villain with those ties coming later, meaning we saw other captures like the Riolu in the above picture. J’s method involved freezing the Pokémon in some sort of bronze-colored contraption, the implication is that the Pokémon know full well what is happening while they are frozen, and it even works on humans. In her debut, she had respect for Ash, but immediately after she saw him as a nuisance and attempted to kill him on the spot every time they ran across each other.

For me, Pokémon Hunter J was unfortunately another thing that showed me the anime was starting to get into something I didn’t care all that much about. I liked the idea and I found her ruthless, but something about how dark the show got felt unnatural and disinteresting despite how she was a good fit for a villain in this darker saga. I haven’t rewatched the Diamond and Pearl sagas in a decade or so, and I basically watched out of some commitment to nostalgia. To be fair to it, rewatching the original series had problems for me, and I can’t help but assume I must have liked more than I realized in D&P if I kept watching since I quickly gave up on Best Wishes, so ultimately I’m willing to try them again someday other than the fact I recently finally saw the films which were of pretty good quality for the series.

Hunter J meets her end in her last appearance, one of the few characters to full-on die, villain or otherwise. Her airship explodes around her, and when it lands in the water all we see are her broken glasses in the depths, either drowning or blown to pieces. Being nothing short of evil, viewers don’t mourn her death with the exception of her fanbase, as as a fan of villains like Dr. Yung and Domino I understand them.

I’m also a fan of this one-off monster. You saw him in the thumbnail too, and props if you recognized him, it’s the unnamed Mayor from the Orange Islands:

PokéTuber Suede brought up how this was a personal dislike of an episode for him because he can’t stand villains like the Mayor. To him, villains without any redeemable qualities are hard to understand and simply irritate him, and I understand him yet respectfully disagree. You already know that I feel pure evil characters can be compelling when they go far with it, and with the Mayor I feel they end up accurately portraying a type of real evil.

Mayor is a corrupt politician, the title should give it away. In the first half of the episode his response to the mysterious monster spotted around town is to just force a military operation to deal with it however he feels like for the sake of boosting his chance of winning re-election. He impedes Ash and the gang just because they may undermine this and attempts to make Officer Jenny arrest them for the duration. All evil enough, but when it’s revealed the monster is a giant Bulbasaur that the Mayor released as a kid because he didn’t want it anymore, I as a viewer expected the boring and formulaic change of heart.

But no. He doesn’t change his mind, he goes for the kill just the same and refuses to admit the truth that was just exposed.

He’s a man whom never had a heart, gained the kind of power he always wanted, and only planned on abusing it just to keep it and repeat the cycle of abuse. It’s a thing we know is real, even with the fantasy elements that Pokémon brings to the table.

As a one-shot episode, he’s not a strong enough character to be compelling evil, he’s instead the other powerful reaction of pure evil villains; the kind of character we love seeing get what’s coming to him. That’s the thing about villains not always discussed in celebration lists like this. We talk about how they do the things we know are wrong and maybe sometimes secretly wish we could do, or how we can sympathize with how they turned out rotten. Sometimes though, a good villain is just the guy we laugh at for getting punched in the face at the end of the film. The unnamed Mayor was simply a creep who always did every single single he wanted to do, never facing consequence until now and never caring about what happens to anyone else. Without morality or discipline, he’s everything people shouldn’t be whether powerful or not.

Which leads us to our final pick. A villain whom like Lawrence the Third, created a sub-genre of Pokémon anime villains. Plenty of clones, some with their own fanbase and personalities, but this was the little blue-haired punk whom started the trend:

Damian was the trainer who left Charmander out in the rain, bragging that he would have been happy if Charmander died waited from him. Thanks to the format of the series, Damian is actually the first true one-shot villain. Characters like the Samurai may have been in the antagonist role, but he turned out to just be a regular guy. Many fans, myself included, argue that AJ was genuinely evil despite what the episode stated, but according to the episode he too was just an antagonist and not a villain.

But like the Mayor, when Damian was given his chance to redeem himself he spat that concept in the face. I wouldn’t give him the moniker of complete monster like I would Yung, Marauder, Kodai, or the Mayor, and yet despite also being less evil than Giovanni, Markus, or Domino he’s a thoroughly despicable character whom the fanbase hates for all the right reasons.

Damian is a braggart, someone who shows off to his friends and seemingly only picks friends exactly like himself. He’s a full on domestic abuser, his lies to Charmander are to be better and to just forgive him for past transgressions while openly saying his real thoughts out loud when away. He cared about powerful Pokémon who would obey him and nothing else, feigning compassion when it suited him. When he is literally burned by his previous victim, he is also literally never seen again. But, figuratively, he’s seen several times later.

On the left is Cross from Pokémon: I Choose You!, in the middle is Paul from Diamond & Pearl, and on the right is apparently Shamus from Best Wishes but I gave up on BW way before he was introduced.

Each one of these trainers abandoned a fire-type starter, just like Damian. From what I know about Shamus he’s hated near-universally since they apparently did nothing with his character and made him feel like nothing but a rip-off.

Cross is technically the biggest rip-off since I Choose You! is a film retelling of the original series and Cross is just that film’s version of Damian. However, like everything else in the movie, Cross was an improvement over the original for reasons I won’t spoil. I think Damian still holds up as a solo villain, but I’d still prefer Cross since he was given more character moments partially just thanks to being the villain of a movie instead of an episode. Damian is certainly a realized character, it’s just that Cross is allowed to have a character arc while Damian was designed to be flat and then disappear from the plot forever. Neither are bad, it’s purely preference on whom you’ll like more.

Paul is, weird. Watching the episodes years back when they were still new it was kind of clear even then that different writers were using this character over the series. Paul was clearly meant to be a merciless villain in his first episodes, as heartless as Damian but this time a full rival so we would see him more often. Clearly a bad guy we’d get ready for Ash to beat. However, later writers clearly liked Paul a lot and gave him humanity with elements like an older brother he’s desperate to live up to. While this is good, Paul also ended up being weirdly proven right in situations that made no sense for him to be right. It was AJ again, where his brutal tactics were allegedly good training. Paul would have been interesting as a rival who grew out of his evil ways, but the ball got fumbled with writers who loved him and felt he was okay before the humanizing was done. These days, he’s still one of the things that make me want to try Diamond and Pearl again. I expect to still have problems, but I think I might get it a bit more, I might be willing to see how they tried to redeem him and if it did work even with the problems. Paul was much more hated years ago but seems to have gotten more popular, and I don’t know the reasons why. If it’s for his evil or his good side I can at least say he did have both qualities.

While Paul certainly has his strengths and fanbase, and Cross is the evil rival I prefer, I can’t deny that Damian started the trend. Gary Oak wasn’t evil, the School of Hard Knocks wasn’t evil, the bug catching Samurai wasn’t evil, but Damian sure was and the can of worms he opened had an impact that Pokémon fans still feel today.

And so, that’s it for the lookback of the evil side of the anime side of the Pokémon franchise. the lows were very low, the highs were very high. Some characters were anti-villains willing to turn their life back around, others had their hearts removed at birth and gleefully never looked back, and some were just somewhere in-between. As a whole, they end up more evil than the game villains tended to be for my money, and honestly I think it also suited them much better. While beating evil feels rewarding in a video game, the raw talent to put evil on the screen and make them compelling and interesting is something the anime did more often than you might suspect.

Thank you for reading the blog, and if anything I mentioned sounds like a good watch, I’d recommend checking them out as soon as you can! It’s never too late to get into this wacky little franchise, or to find something new to love about it if you already did.

Celebrating (and criticizing) The Villains of Pokémon! (Just the games)

This year, 2021, is the 25th Anniversary of the Pokémon franchise. As with practically everyone else in my age group, I have a connection and history with the games and also the anime. Even when there isn’t an anniversary I enjoy reminiscing about my past with Pokémon and talking about my present and future with Pokémon. Some of the games I love to their core, some I honestly just think are okay with some very clever concepts or ideas, and even the one I really didn’t like still had some unique takes.

I think the biggest element, at the very least one of them anyway, that showcases both the strengths and the weaknesses of the series writing and immersion is the villainous groups you encounter and defeat as the protagonist. Sometimes the game has a great villain, one who sticks with you, one you are proud to say you defeated and whom you can’t help thinking about among many other video games baddies. Then there’s the complete clunkers, villains whom failed at depth or true motivation, felt flat on arrival and never became any better, but that admittedly you do can’t forget at the very least.

From the would-be fascists, to the organized gangsters, to the phoney animal rights groups, to the environmental extremists, to the juvenile delinquents. Evil is all over the map in the world of Pokémon and just like with Disney villains, these characters are a market all their own and thoroughly worth dissecting. So, let’s do so. Let’s look at them under categories instead of purely individually to save a bit of time and to help out some of the lesser characters. Some of them are my all time favorites, some are examples I’d use for what not to do.

And if you enjoy posts like this, be sure to check out my Patreon to help keep this blog floating!

- The Several Rockets -

Team Rocket is unavoidable in a Pokémon character discussion, whether or not you are focusing on just the villains. In some ways I’d argue this is even more true for the anime (which I will also be tackling the villains of), but to say they didn’t leave an impact on the games core formula would be a lie. If we never had Team Rocket, there wouldn’t be villains in these games. The original Red and Blue/Green is known today for still changing the world yet aging differently for many, and one of those ways is that the story is notably lacking. I’ll admit I only ever played the remake Fire Red, but as someone who’d started with Gold and Silver and constantly played Ruby and Emerald, it is clear there’s less of a focus on a true overarching narrative in the first games compared to gens 2 and onward but the sense of adventure itself works as a story, especially for immersion as the characters are given simple yet effective elements to connect to.

Team Rocket in Fire Red does feel a bit lacking in some regards because of this, they don’t really seem to have an overall plan and are just doing whatever they feel like as criminals. Not that this really is a bad thing, as the game is more in the slightly-forgotten genre of adventure, having meandering villains whom you still constantly come across do work to help sell that sense of going on a great journey. The manga and the anime do flesh out more of Boss Giovanni’s true goals, but as a criminal enterprise whom just so happens do be a gym leader is a good way to make just another boss fight feel more connected to the player’s journey, you get a final showdown with a character you’ve been directly fighting already, capping off both that part of the story and preparing you for the final stretch in the same blow. While the villains tended to get much more involved in following games, Team Rocket as a whole still gave players a unique NPC to battle against, where the stakes were higher and the chance for heroism could be felt.

In fact, Team Rocket themselves became villains with more story than Team Rocket!

In Gold and Silver, Giovanni is stated to have just vanished and the organization is in dismay. They refuse to disband, instead, they are doing even dirtier deeds in an attempt to convince Giovanni to come back. The shift is noticeable when looking back-to-back. To give credit of course, in the first game a member does murder a Marowak off-screen, and it’s the darkest action any character commits in the game. As for Gold and Silver:

They cut off Slowpoke tails to sell them as goods while keeping the Pokémon alive and imprisoned, they mess with the radio frequencies around the Lake of Rage to drive the local Pokémon into a violent frenzy and forcibly evolve them to make them more profitable, and said signals are created with a group of Electrods they are clearly abusing in order to make them stressed and angry. Money and power were mentioned in the first games, but their sequels make it very clear those are the two things Team Rocket cares about, and lack any empathy for anything they could use to gain said money or power.

Along with the spike in evil actions we also gained a bit more character. The Rockets hierarchy ended up being given names, and the remakes Soul Silver and Heart Gold even gave them more unique designs and screen time. Petrel, Archer, Ariana, and Proton are now remembered characters specifically for these entries. Some were in the original versions, some even had a mention in the very first games, but fans remember Soul Silver and Heart Gold’s Rocket Executives for their cool designs and personalities. In some ways, Team Rocket is a more powerful team with Giovanni gone, since these four truly took charge.

Although after Ultra Sun and Moon, I can’t finish speaking about Team Rocket without mentioning Rainbow Rocket. Sadly, I can’t talk about it too much, as while I bought Ultra Sun I ultimately gave it to my nephew as well as my 3DS before I played that much of it. I loved Pokémon Moon but like many fans I didn’t give the Ultra versions that fair a chance, and I’ve now since heard they changed up a lot more than I expected and have minor regrets, but not enough to fully regret giving away the device. Maybe they’ll get a Switch port, it’s not too unlikely with now much Nintendo is embracing the practice for this generation finally.

I do know whom Rainbow Rocket is though; a Giovanni from another reality where he won and learned how to jump realities, teaming up with other series villains whom also won in their continuities. It’s an interesting concept, especially considering just how different many villain’s goals were. Of course, the does also bug me. Archie and Maxie hated each other, but both would be appalled by Ghetsis and Lysandre, and while they might understand Cyrus though but the word is might. Ghetsis also was too self-centered to be a true team player but then again that might mean I’d be happily waiting for the expected twist. Without playing the game I can only say it’s an interesting idea with holes I have no idea if they filled up or smoothed out to work.

And yes, Giovanni and surprisingly Archer make their appearances in the Let’s Go games, doing the same good job that is there in the originals but just somehow better for me personally this time around.

Money grubbing and heartless, Team Rocket became iconic and started the trend of needing to defeat evil before becoming the Pokémon Champion. Although sometimes those villains are more evil than others, even when talking about just the Rockets.

So less go for something even less evil than the nicer Rocket members. Let’s talk about the teams who kind of only barely qualified.

- The Punk Youths -

Villains whom are really nothing more than rascals are the newest idea. Because of that, we only have two examples. Team Skull, and Team Yell.

Despite both having similar ideas; taking a more obnoxious type of youth and making them the bad guys, purposefully downplaying a role usually saved for genuinely evil or at least dangerously misguided type, Skull and Yell proved to be very different characters at the end of it.

Skull were actual delinquents, showing up wherever they were just to annoy and pester the local townsfolk. Further into the story you end up realizing these are, kids, mostly homeless and unwanted kids at that too. Even with some of the misguided villains we had before, they ended up becoming the least evil and most sympathetic types we came across in the series. Even second-on-command Plumeria ends up coming across as a tough-love motherly figure just trying to keep everyone happy and in-line, and real boss Guzma just reveals himself to be a bit of a stand-offish punk who’s more easily used than he thinks.

Yell doesn’t even do things as bad as that. They are just the fans of trainer Marnie, and are way too loud in their embarrassing levels of support. In short, they’re sports fans with a favorite player. They don’t have a leader, unless you want to count Marnie as they certainly see her as one, even if she certainly doesn’t. Sword and Shield reenvisioned the Pokémon journey as a grand sport that only a lucky few were even able to truly last in, so having obnoxious sports fans whom aren’t actually evil in the slightest were pretty much a perfect antagonist for that type of adventure. Some fans felt Yell was either not used the best or was too close to Skull, but as I said, I think they worked great and were radically different under a similar sounding outer layer.

Both teams had one big similarity too; both were eventually red herrings to the true villain. Skull traded off for a villain whom really stuck with me, and Yell led to a villain I genuinely was hoping wasn’t going to happen as that one felt like a repeat and nowhere near as interesting. But, those villains did also at least have different personalities, so they will be in their own sections. Honestly, let’s do the latter next:

- The Well-Intended -

Sometimes the worst of crimes come from the best intentions. The Pokémon franchise has no problems showing those kinds of bad guys, and their intentions varied, even as much as the very first time they tried it.

As I said in the third part of my Games I Played in 2020 list, Pokémon Emerald is my favorite game. As such, you better believe I can talk at length about Team Magma, although maybe not as much about Team Aqua. See, I started Gen 3 with Ruby, so Aqua was originally a group of heroes or anti-heroes at first to me, until they showed their evil sides in Emerald alongside Magma yet while still opposing them.

Magma’s goal was to heat up the Hoenn region, feeling that there is not enough land for the Pokémon that live on it and using any means they can to do so. Aqua feels there isn’t enough ocean for all the Pokémon in it and want to cause a massive rain to expand the seas, again using any methods. In Emerald you admittedly spend more time fighting Magma, but considering Maxie and Archie’s different personalities it’s more fitting for the both of them. Maxie is the more intelligent and calculating one, while Groudon is on his radar it seems to be his final idea instead of his only one, he’d rather try out the volcano first and he even has another last ditch effort he planned in advance with the rocket fuel. As for Archie, he’s more aloof yet brutish, his only goal is Kyogre and as such every thing he does is just part of that one plan, and while it does have it’s steps they also do sometimes seem to just be randomly thought up at times.

For both being environmental extremists, both basically using forced climate change to gain what they think they want, and both seeing their error of their ways almost as soon as their plan comes true, Magma and Aqua were still radically different in terms of how and why and they’ve both stuck with me over the years even if you don’t have to twist my arm to make me admit I like Magma more.

Speaking of Magma, while both teams have higher ups whose names I remember (Tabitha, Shelly, Matt), it’s Courtney who has my attention the most and that is now true for many others. She’s basically a grunt with a good design in the original Ruby, a psycho who is still redeemable in the manga, and even more psycho and somehow redeemable in Omega Ruby. She’s loved for her design and for being easily the darkest character from both teams, while not really erasing this gens ideals of having anti-villains who mean well yet don’t understand what they are really doing. Courtney might love fire, but she was still a flawed human willing to earn up and do better. All of which is very impressive for a character that ended up being cut from Emerald!

Now when it comes to the rest of the well-intended, we pretty much have solo characters and a half-example for a team. So, let’s start with an example I feel, may honestly be the weakest example we’ve had, so I guess spoiler warning for Sword and Shield:

Chairman Rose spends a good deal of Sword and Shield feeling like a goofy and well-meaning CEO. However, the last CEO from a Pokémon game turned out to be the true villain, and since there was also a team of rebellious youths as the fake-out villains, myself and many others assumed well in advanced Rose was going to turn evil. And unlike the previous twist villain, Rose fell completely flat for me.

I was really hoping Team Yell and rival Bede would be as evil as the characters got, just obnoxious fans and a mean spoiled rival whom both turn out not evil by the end, which really worked for the overall adventurous atmosphere. I suppose I can say one thing good about Rose is that at least his motive is far different, Rose believes that true tragedy must befall the world in order for it to truly prosper afterwards. There’s a myth in Galar about that exact thing happening, and with the philosophy of “it’s always darkest before the dawn.”, sure, I can see why someone might be deluded enough think it really is the best thing. He’s still evil, but he counts as well-intended which makes him different from the last twist villain yet ultimately a lot less interesting.

He’s not just another twist villain after a twist villain, he’s also just a character who feels more flat than the last twist villain. Even his design doesn’t feel as good, his own henchwoman seemingly has more character, and while I do still like the game he’s from I will say he’s not only the weakest part of it, he’s now one of the weakest villains from the games and it already starting to be the first one I’m forgetting about. There’s one whole team I despite more, but I won’t forget them, and that might mean Rose is technically the weakest villain in the whole game series.

So we’ll now go from weakest solo villain, to a group whom I have started to understand a bit better over the years. I don’t know if they entirely count for this slot, but whenever I think them over, I kind of realize they almost fit here as there’s a sympathy I feel for two different reasons. One is that how the whole group is just being duped, and one is how the leader duping them has reasons the game did a decent enough job making the sympathy come through. It’s not who you think I’m talking about, believe it or not, I’m talking about Team Galactic and Cyrus:

Who you likely thought I was going to talk about, he’s next.

Honestly, I think even as much as I used to really not like Team Galactic or Cyrus, thinking back on my Platinum experience there’s a dramatic irony and tragedy there that while not as well-written as it should have been, is worth revisiting to try and really understand their plight.

So that starts the question, what exactly is Team Galactic after? I don’t mean Cyrus, whose end goal is to create a new dimension purely for himself, I mean what do Team Galactic actually want? That’s the thing, I still really don’t know what the individual members want. Sure, it’s been over seven years since I last played Platinum, which is still the version with the better writing for Team Galactic from what I understand, but I really don’t know what Team Galactic was trying to do.

And neither did they.

The grunts, Charon, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, they all believed in what they were told was Cyrus’s vision but every single one of them was being played. While the Commanders where closer to Cyrus than the grunts, and did a lot of the scientific work for him, they were always going to be cut out of the final goal and that ultimately means they were doing all this work for nothing at all. Considering some grunts even mention building a better world, they end up counting here for that reason. Some Galactic members really thought they were doing evil to build a new world, not to destroy everything for the sake of one lonely man.

And that’s Cyrus ultimately too, a lonely man who feels nothing anymore and just wants something for himself. He’s still more evil than Magma, Aqua, even Rose and Giovanni, but when you dive into how he turned out this way there is a sympathy that’s not completely unfounded.

Team Galactic is as uneven as I felt they were the first time I played, but honestly, only now am I realizing that was more intentional than I thought. They are a group of people who do not really know what their own motives or end goals actually are. It’s why there’s so many genuinely malicious members and so many jokesters who are not taking anything seriously. I won’t defend some decisions from Gen IV, and am happy they didn’t come back, but Team Galactic are far more interesting than I once considered them to be.

And now dear readers, we talk about the sympathetic well-intender you were expecting:

You know you’re popular when you get a Nendoroid

Natural “N” Harmonia, one of if not the most popular of Pokémon game villains. N’s goal is to change the Pokémon world, because after multiple friendships with wild and abandoned Pokémon he not only learned how to understand what they are saying, he learned exactly how often Pokémon are abused and mishandled by their trainers. In reality this is a good thing to want, it’s morally sound, it’s just both the methods he is using and the people truly behind him that put in on the path of villainy.

And yet, N is also the most successful villain in the franchise too. NPCs who oppose him fully in the start end up listening to him in the end anyway, he gains respect from those who initially brushed him off. N does change hearts and minds, and more impressive, he even changed the hearts of real life players. Like I said, N is possibly the most popular villain to this day, and after Black and White, there was a bigger focus on Pokémon being your dear friends whom deserve your love and attention. This was part of the idea of course, The Pokémon Company was ready to start deconstructing their premise, and with one great villain they sure as hell did.

N was thoughtful, charming, sympathetic, considerate, regretful, the most successful villain from Pokémon was the one who wasn’t actually evil at all. It’s easy to see why Team Plasma was divided between members who truly saw him as their king, and members who actually knew what the real goal was.

So with that said, we have to go to the type of villains who are the opposite of N. From the character who does not ultimately count as evil, to the ones who count as nothing but evil.

- The Purest Of Evil -

The Pokémon Company clearly likes sympathetic anti-villains, considering they ended up being the biggest category. And yet, when they decide to take off the gloves and let the players fight against real evil, we got characters who were truly frightening in how far they were willing to go. While I found one to be one of their least interesting examples, the other two will stay with me for their haunting glare alone. Let’s start with the most recent, the twist villain of Sun and Moon:

So again I need to state I barely played Ultra Sun, but did hear about the differences in story. I know that Lusamine was given a new reason to search for the Ultra Beasts, a sympathetic motive and retool. Honestly, while again I didn’t play it, I can consider that sympathetic take a reason why I didn’t finish it.

Look, my love for Team Magma and Plasma should have made it clear I do heavily enjoy villains with depth and sympathy, however, there are plenty of times where being sheer evil is the more interesting character. Lusamine in regular Sun and Moon is an emotionally distant and abusive parent, she sees no value in her children nor employees as anything other than a means to an end, and her end is nothing but an obsession she just plain has. She has no real grand reason for the obsession, she just has it and it’s enough to drive her to the lowest of actions. She’s vile and cruel, one of the most disgusting characters the franchise ever saw, and it’s why I enjoyed defeating her so much. Sometimes a villain is a villain, someone who does not really have a heart and who can’t be talked down, and Lusamine was one of the few in the game side of the franchise. A true wicked mother that is more real than some people may want to admit. Like Rose, there was also a feeling she wasn’t nearly as nice as she was letting on, but unlike Rose there was legitimate foreshadowing and her character fit the story a lot better.

Sun and Moon are still great entries for many a reason, and while I’m sure there’s tons of merit in Ultra Sun and Moon, I’ll take the truly terrible and irredeemable bastard we got with Sun and Moon Lusamine any day.

But just because true evil can be interesting, that doesn’t always mean it is:

While I have a bit more appreciation for Platinum and it’s villains as the years grow on, I think I dislike X and Y and Team Flare even more the older I get. I understand the competitive side was finally allowed to flourish starting here and I won’t take that away from anyone, yet I still have to stick with my guns that the story and characters from this generation are still the weakest and worst of the games.

Let’s not mix words here, Team Flare were a team of genocidal lunatics, self-obsessed fascists, they were purposefully meant to be the darkest and vilest villains yet, beating even last gen’s true monster. In so many ways I still can’t fathom, this all feel completely flat on it’s face.

Why was Team Flare constantly making really bad fashion jokes? Why was Lysandre so obviously evil to the point where it’s not even funny to joke about it? What was the point of having an Elite Four member mention off-hand that they were a member, as if that ultimately matters for a character we’d only see once and for a few minutes at most, why not a gym leader or the professor if you really wanted a shocking reveal?

If the point was to be sickened, to be shocked at the depravity, then they needed to cut the comedy by a lot. Yes, have some comedy to add levity, that’s more than acceptable especially for a kid’s game. But I ended up never taking a single member of Flare seriously, and for characters allegedly capable of killing all life, it’s an absolute shock that I could not be bothered. Even Galactic, back when I couldn’t stand them, felt more interesting and intimidating than this group of attempted mass murderers.

I will remember Lysandre as one of the biggest failures, so he will be remembered more often than Chairman Rose, but I hope something you may have noticed is that I didn’t name any of his followers. I do not remember their names, and I can’t be bothered to look them up. X and Y have more forgettable characters than other games, and sadly the ones I did remember were mostly the ones I hated, Lysandre being the biggest example. I am okay with villains who are pure evil, but it’s a character you really need to know how to write. They didn’t this time. Lysandra and Team Flare ended up so bland that any threat level they were clearly supposed to have just dried up every time one of them opened their stupid little mouths. To have characters with the power to kill all existence have absolutely no threat level is an embarrassment, let only any fictional villain with nothing interesting about them.

Which is an even bigger shock for a company that did it very right in every single way only one game generation before:

The only solo villain I think can make the argument for being even more popular than N Harmonia, would be his adoptive yet abusive father Ghetsis Harmonia. Ghetsis goes to the depths of evil that no other Pokémon villain has yet to go to still. Adopting a child just to mold him into a mouthpiece, building a group under false pretenses while making absolutely sure to still fill it up with members who gleefully know what they were really up to. Ghetsis is the walking nightmare of the Pokémon mainline games, for years we’d heard about trainers who only saw Pokémon as nothing but tools, but all the past villains had some sort of redeeming relationship with their Pokémon as even the cold and emotionless Cyrus managed a friendship evolution of Golbat to Crobat. No such thing this time, Ghetsis’s choice of Pokémon only boiled down to what worked most effectively as a weapon, even carrying into the sequel where he now searched for a legendary Pokémon for the sole purpose of using it as nothing more than an ice cannon, even bragging about how he was positive anyone trapped in the ice would still stay alive and would only be able to watch the horrors without being able to do anything.

Team Plasma gets up to criminal activity under his care even when they are playing up their false good intentions, but once he’s caught and sheds the façade he barely maintained anyway, the team’s very appearance shows his true nature. No longer the white knights whom allied themselves with N, they now dressed like agents of terror and acted like them too.

Ghetsis is a level of evil we hear about in fairy tales and hope don’t really exist, making him the perfect counterpoint to N’s naïve yet good nature. He’s not remotely afraid to kill, he enjoys tormenting others, he wants to rule the world and most likely crush it to pieces soon after. Out of ever fight you’ll have, he’s the one you really want to completely beat forever, the world is better off with him no longer ruining it.

The mainline games have almost every type of villain; greedy gangsters, world dominators, misguided animal loves, hopeless cynics, obsession chasers, even as simple as loud jerks. You can’t love them all, at least I certainly couldn’t, but the mark is passed more often than failed and I’d say that’s very good especially with the amount of homeruns.

Tune in again soon for another discussion, where I look back at the villains from the TV series and movies. And as stated before, you can keep this blog alive with a simple pledge to my Patreon! Either way, thanks for stopping by and reading what I had to say this time.

EVERY GAME I PLAYED IN 2020 (PART 3)

And here we come to the finale of my gaming journeys of 2020. This final list has 12 entries, and some of those entries are going to be the games I have the most to talk about. I’ll try and be as quick as I can for the other games, but they must also be given their fair chance. There’s not a single bad game here, although there will be some criticisms very harsh.

I think it’s best if we have not much else before we dive in. As always, you can keep this blog running by purchasing The Romance Novel, and please enjoy this lookback at the tail end of 2020 gaming-wise for me.

Donut County

http://donutcounty.com/

Donut County is an indie puzzle game that never ceases in it’s unique charm and gameplay. The premise alone; that you are a donut delivery service worker who is instead delivering holes, is the kind of concept that suits the nature of video games better than other mediums.

There’s also Donut County’s likely intended but maybe accidental social remarks, the corruption of greed and industrialization, invasion of said things among unsuspecting citizens. It’s a story that only takes two to three hours, and is thoroughly wonderful through them. There’s still a debate within gaming on if being too short is a bad thing, but like many others, I’d rather enjoy every second of a tightly-packed game than try to force myself through a complete slog. I beat Donut County in a nice afternoon, and the afternoon was nice because I spent it playing through Donut County. Like another short indie gem Firewatch, this is a game that needs to be always played in a single sitting, letting the entire experience happen without pausing for another day. Donut County is lovely, the opposite of trash, as it can be described.

Rating - 9/10

Nightmares from the Deep 2: The Siren’s Call

https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/nightmares-from-the-deep-2-the-sirens-call-switch/

I do remember my experience with Nightmares from the Deep 2, a game I’ve never played the original for yet one that I have certainly played the exact same experience for. Don’t get me wrong, hidden object games have their place in not just gaming but also for my own personal tastes. Buying this game and playing it was no accident, I felt the urge to play a hidden object game and the pitch for this one on the store page is what won me over.

Nightmares from the Deep 2 has a solid story, it’s all excuses to find objects, but it’s sensical and feels rewarding to go through to the end. The name implies scary imagery, and it didn’t really scare me personally but the sudden jump scare cords and zoom-ins weren’t annoying either, so it might do either to you should your tolerance for either be different from mine.

Hidden object games without the franchise name of “I Spy” tend to be considered old lady games, but they can still be a fun evening should they not be too frustrating. Their biggest problem being how yes, they do all feel the same but with a coat of paint. I’ll likely never play this one again, and any other game like this from the same studio would have been practically the same game, but it was still fun and these are still a decent thing for a lazy afternoon.

Rating - 5.5/10

Spy Fox 3: Operation Ozone

https://store.steampowered.com/app/292260/Spy_Fox_3_Operation_Ozone/

Humongous Entertainment is still beloved by many for their fun, creative, and colorful point-and-click adventure games. The company may not really get up to much of anything anymore, but at least these well-aged games are easy to legally buy and play.

Spy Fox was probably the better written franchise the studio did. They were for slightly older kids, so wittier jokes and references were seemingly more allowed. Putt-Putt, Pajama Sam, and Freddi Fish were far from uninspired of course, but I find the puzzles were a bit more sharp here even if they aren’t exactly hard for an adult.

Out of all the Spy Fox games, I’m going to go on record saying I think this one was the best. The set-up is fresh, the villain the nastiest, the environments fantastic, even in a sea of gems it managed to shine brighter. A high rating may look weird for those who’ve yet to play the catalogue, but for we nostalgic to the games, the rating will seem pitch-perfect:

Rating - 8/10

Batman Arkham Origins Blackgate

https://store.steampowered.com/app/267490/Batman_Arkham_Origins_Blackgate__Deluxe_Edition/

And like I promised last time, we are back to Arkham once again. Well, we’re really in Blackgate, and this time Batman moves left to right and sometimes up and down.

Blackgate was an interesting experience, especially in my first run-through. See, the game is pretty short because to fully experience it, you have to play it three times with you purposefully choosing a different third boss each time. The third boss always sets up a final trap themselves you have to diffuse afterwards, and not only that, those traps each have one specific item to unlock which you keep on those further playthroughs. Those plus the other items will go towards 100%, giving you more batsuits and goodies to try out.

And the thing is, I really didn’t like that first playthrough. Some stuff was cool, but bosses were terrible, death happened to me several times from cheap shots I had little time to learn from. I could do the correct method and the game would refuse to believe it. The developers might have realized that, because by looking through every crate, on just your first playthrough you can unlock a batsuit were you do not take any damage anymore. This changes the game for those new game plus playthroughs. You not longer worry about dying, only in planning how to grab that 100% in your own way. Which, I did.

Maybe not great to play it’s first time, Blackgate Deluxe is shockingly clever in how it treats and rewards completionists and that makes it an oddity that I came around to. It’s mediocre since I can’t recommend it too much to non-completionists, but I think there is still some kind of audience out there for it should they be interested.

Rating - 5/10

Red Dead Redemption 2

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/rockstar-reveals-plot-details-red-dead-redemption-2-1139857

Red Dead Redemption 2 has the honor of being one of the most critically acclaimed video games ever made, yet listening to genuine opinions tend to actually range from “very perfect, no problems!” to “It’s great and I want to love it but the gameplay is frustrating.” I played the game when it came out, and without a doubt was in the latter camp.

I can’t deny with any fiber of my being that the story and characters of the game are some of the strongest I have experienced in any form of fictional media. Arthur Morgan proved to be one of the greatest examples of playable characters and it will be a very long time before he’s topped in any fashion. He’s the kind of man who would empty his purse for a beggar, and the kind of man who would rob a beggar, neither contradicting thanks to just how believable he can enter situations and how he reacts based on a combination of the writing and the adaptability of the games control output.

The moral choices pop up far more than the original, being harder than before too. I play as good characters, and yet found myself so morally grey both times I played this. Sometimes it was too sensical to do the morally dirty thing, I felt horrible yet could not regret allowing Arthur to do it. I loved his flawed man who does have plenty of bad in him, but whose heart is gold enough that redemption is something you know he is more than capable of. I’m almost impressed by those who earn the bad endings, the name of the game is Redemption and the themes are of redemption, being able to peel that away smells of wanting the game their way so much I do have to admire their will in some ways.

Fishing in the game is so fun I kept doing it just because, even after fishing every type of regular fish and doing the legendary fish quest. Clothing options were so open and fresh that there is nothing like it even in simulation games with similar ideas. The environments are fresh and beautiful. The hand-to-hand combat involves thinking even if you try giving up and using a knife. Side missions are all unique with characters whom all broke my expectations in ways that earn my love or hate for all the right reasons. Even shopping adds this nice idea where you can use the catalog or just buy the item by picking it up and confirming.

And.

Horse riding still feels imprecise despite the last game nailing it. Guns have a great range of color but engravings honestly felt lacking in amount and variety. Cleaning them is a great idea but it’s hard to tell when they work poorly since sometimes it’s after long use and others you start missing not long after cleaning. Gun fights don’t feel as inspired as they did in RDR 1 or GTA V. The epilogue is too long and has too many random evil gangs for the sake of it. 100% demands too much despite not needing literally everything in typical Rockstar fashion, for once they didn’t cut back enough and had too many collectible side missions making only some feel worth their weight.

So the question is, how much of that really bothered me the second time?

I played on PC on lower graphics this time, and despite how muddy it looked, it still looked great. The horses seemed to control better, which was either from using a keyboard or from experience. That last word means a lot, so many problems feel lesser after experience. It demands too much experience, but then again, it’s a game that turned out to be really worth replaying.

I kinda loved the game the first time, this time, I really loved the game.

Arthur Morgan’s story was worth going through again. As was John Marston’s, Dutch Van Der Linde’s, Bill Williamson’s, Micah Bell III’s, every character gets to shine and they all earn the respect and love and/or hate to do it all over again. I almost even got 100% completion this time, and I still say it’s too much, but this time I can also say I think I can do it.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is a very strong type of game. I still cannot be sure it’s for everybody, but even then, maybe everyone needs to try it anyway.

Rating - 9.5/10

Maneater

https://www.cnn.com/videos/entertainment/2020/05/22/swim-as-the-shark-in-maneater.cnn

Maneater was a $40 game with plenty of polish and tons of fun things to do. Remember when that happened more often? Budget games that lacked the grandiose elements of the Triple A market and many times were more worth that money than those more expensive games?

Maneater sees you play as a deadly shark, whom can eat so much she comes across as more like a black hole than a shark. Shark controls pretty well, with minor clunkiness where I still felt like I was in control most of the time. She could still flip around or freak out, but this did feel intentional while not as ridiculous as Surgeon Simulator or Octodad, which I still feel are good comparisons.

Maneater wasn’t a surprise or anything, but it was a very fun game that I actually ended up getting two copies of. She’s a brutal little girl that shark, and her game really utilizes that. This is the kind of game I always say would make it on my “game of the year” list if I worked for gaming journalism, since purely fun smaller games like this need more praise for being exactly what they are without wearing the gimmick out and being easy to get right back into. It’s on consoles both current and future-that-didn’t-really-come-yet-to-most-of-us-because-they-are-hard-to-get, so I really do say give it a play. Blood and guts are sometimes all you really need, and the added comedy from the nature documentary spoof really adds even more.

Rating - 8/10

Hitman Absolution HD

https://www.destructoid.com/stories/hitman-absolution-and-blood-money-headed-to-ps4-and-xbox-one-real-soon-537815.phtml

I’m saying it. I know Hitman fans weren’t hot on this one for the changes to the settings and game world style, but I really enjoy Hitman Absolution personally.

I can’t fault people for loving the James Bond inspired wacky and open games that came before it. I can understand being disappointed it’s a lot different. However, changing the formula doesn’t instantly mean a product is bad, sometimes the black sheep has a lot to offer. Absolution added a lot that ended up staying, how you can finally garotte and immediately go into a drag, how you can knock people out with your bare hands instead of needing an item with the side effect that it takes time, the instinct system that got retooled later but isn’t that far off from the hardest difficulty versions from here.

Now, speaking of difficulty, this time playing it I actually do have a criticism. I don’t dislike the linear levels, I think linear game design can lead to very clever and unique gameplay and also storytelling. Absolution has great levels with the linearity, however, that stays true only on normal. Once you try a “professional” difficulty level, things go a bit more south purely because some levels are not built around doing it.

You have to stealth at all times now since combat is much riskier than on normal, and as a stealth fan I’m actually fine with that, on paper. The problem with Absolution is how some levels were pretty clearly designed more for action stealth from the get-go, and harder difficulty makes them shockingly hard for all the wrong reasons.

Attack of the Saints or King of Chinatown add simple more amount of guards that the styles I did on normal weren’t as easy so I thought more outside the box and still had a solid times. Levels like Rosewood Orphanage were frankly broken in the enemies favor, there’s too many of them and the levels was clearly meant for a player to happily wipe out these professional killers who went way too far, which is basically impossible in a difficulty level that tries everything to make that gameplay style impossible. I remember being able to sneak about the level on normal once or twice, but on professional they leaped out of corners and huddled around the item I needed. Full instinct wasn’t enough to blend in, there wasn’t enough time to hide bodies. I finally beat the level by instincting, grabbling the item, then mashing instinct again, and I genuinely think the game glitched and gave it to me since I did that method several times in a now and it usually failed within a heartbeat. Also, just in general, I never liked the level Hotel Terminus and I still feel that way.

However, I still beat the game and I still loved it overall. It was more challenging in ways I didn’t care for this time, but I didn’t put it down, and I even still went back for all the challenges and all the collectibles. I have Platinum now and I’m incredibly happy I do. Fans won’t be ready to forgive this entry for a while, but I’m with the critics on this one. On it’s own, it’s a strong game with some noticeable problems depending on the level or difficulty.

Rating - 9/10

Saints Row The Third Remastered

https://www.pcgamer.com/saints-row-the-third-remastered-is-coming-next-month-and-it-looks-great/

Another game that riled some feathers in the fandom that I loved so so dearly. And like the last one, this is the remastered version for PS4, but this time it really is remastered and not just a port job.

Good God the graphics are weirdly realistic, especially for such a bombastic and goofy game. For my money some of the style has been erased so I will still prefer the original version, but the graphics are incredible despite that.

I wish that was my only complaint, but I also felt some of the controls did not work quite as well as the original. I don’t know if it was button lag, or framerate issues, but I’ve played buttery smooth on both PC and Xbox One Backwards Compatibility for the original, and a remaster should at least be as good as those ways to play the original.

So now that my criticisms are out of the way, allow me to gush about one of my favorite video games ever made!

The wacky nature of this game delivers tons of fun gameplay, from the side stuff you can do on the Bosses’ phone or from icons in the game world. I love all of the Saints; Oleg the smart muscleman, Pierce the whiny yet lovable scamp, Kinzie the kinky super genius, I know Shaundi is divisive compared to her past self since she’s radically different, but I think she still shines in the comedy department while keeping the new characterization. Your choices weren’t moral decisions in this game, just which type of fun thing you wanted to play with, and boy that could be just as hard, although I just remembered you absolutely get a final moral choice for the ending but that one’s lovingly not hard to make honestly.

Engaging, bombastic, crass, Saints Row The Third is still all those things and this pretty version is not a bad way to experience it at all. Again, somehow the original is still better and still easy to get since it’s even on Switch, so the rating has to reflect that but it’s barely going to look like that.

Rating - 9.5/10

Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep Final Mix

https://www.playstationlifestyle.net/2014/10/30/kingdom-hearts-birth-by-sleep-final-mix-i-revisit-the-best-kh-game-in-2-5-hd-remix/#/slide/1

Birth By Sleep has a very big reputation. It was everyone’s favorite Kingdom Hearts game until more people started playing it. See, fans who were devoted enough to play it back on PSP were all enthralled by the new story, the tragedy of the three main characters, the bigger impact on the lore of the franchise. Once it got on the PS3 and later PS4 and Xbox One, the rest of the fanbase and newcomers sometimes had that reaction but seemingly just as often were massively off-put by the floaty combat, the mechanics, and finding the story and character nowhere near as well-written as they’d been hearing for years.

When I played the game back on PS3, I had every single one of those bulletpoints for the critical half. I hated the game, it frustrated me how the grinding was far more enforced than ever with spongey enemies, how bosses were allowed invincibility frames when the player wasn’t, allowed bosses to easily escape attacks and suddenly juggle the player without many options to escape. I hated the command deck and the way new commands and especially abilities were tied behind alchemy of the moves. Ven had my interest but Terra and Aqua were flat and uninteresting, not to mention Eraqus being thoroughly unlikable.

However, I gave the game a second chance on the PS4. This time, no, I didn’t hate it.

I didn’t fall in love with it at all either.

The command deck is still not as easy to use as the one from Dream Drop Distance, and the alchemy is still a silly requirement for unlocking new abilities. However, this time I noticed that anytime you learn a command you can always then buy that command at a moogle shop, meaning I never really lost a command I just had to start from the beginning with it’s level. A pain but not an immense hassle.

I still find the main trio undercooked, but less flat this time. Terra, Aqua, and Ventus suffer a lot from needing to go to all of the same worlds, I feel that if each character had each world they visit to themselves only that they would have had better chances at the character development the game really acts like they got. Raident Garden, the Land of Departure, and the Keyblade Graveyard worked fine sharing the three of them, but for example I think only Ven should have had the Dwarf Woodlands since he got to meet the most characters and interact with them more, or how only Terra should have had Enchanted Dominion and Deep Space as those two worlds helped establish character growth and would have worked far better without Ven’s pointless feeling visit and Aqua’s horrible fight with Dragon Maleficent especially.

I also realize how last time I practically never used Shotlock or Links, and they make a world of difference to the gameplay. Links help remove character weaknesses when used right and are powerful, and Shotlock can remove enemies from a room or wipe out more than a whole health bar from a boss. From here onward Kingdom Hearts started having too many mechanics, and even here it was easy to forget they existed, even though they are sometimes essential to winning a fight.

The story is, fine. It does not break ground, it’s cliched, and as I explained has pacing problems from how the game forces all three characters to go everywhere when picking and choosing would have been far better. It has some highlights though. In fact, that’s how I’d describe the entire game.

It has it’s highlights. The Mirage Arena was full of challenges while the other minigames were poor, some worlds had very nice stand-alone experiences despite still following the movies and not always mixing with another character’s world story too well, the Unversed sometimes looked cool and had some interesting mechanics but sometimes were painful to fight, Xehanort wasn’t as pointlessly masterful as he gets later and has some great lines and scenes even if this is where he took too much of the spotlight, and bosses ranged from pretty unique to wishing I could skip it from how unfair it was. But, I really cannot forgive how this is the first time the extra secret bonus movie is a playable level, it’s too much work that I didn’t do and don’t know if I ever will, I settled for the regular bonus and the horrible final fight that turned out to be.

End of the day, this is not the best Kingdom Hearts game but I found it had more merit than when I played it before. It’s not a bad game, just a mixed bag with very noticeable flaws you kind of need to work around, as they will make or break you.

Rating - 6/10

Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix

https://kingdomhearts.fandom.com/wiki/Puzzle

Kingdom Hearts II isn’t the best game in the series either but boy do I see why so many people feel it is! The original will still hold that title in my heart, it’s exploration and warm simplicity still beats most other games I’ve played in my life even now. Still;

Kingdom Hearts 2 goes for a far more complex narrative that may be confusing but at least there was a purposeful mystery angle to it to justify the feeling. The combat is overhauled so much that the player is basically creating a ballet with video game violence and it rarely lets up for even a nanosecond. Especially with the major improvements final mix brings.

I don’t like everything in final mix, I still say the mandatory Roxas fight is too hard for a story fight and that not every data fight nor Mushroom XIII are worth the inclusion, but other than the story fight I can’t complain much as I feel non-mandatory stuff rarely detracts from a rating unless it’s truly egregious and that’s not the case here despite how daunting it felt before I got the Platinum trophy a while back.

The best thing it added though, is critical mode. Video game difficulty is not a perfect medium, some people love extra spicy challenges while people like me are only out to have fun and find plenty of hard modes to not bring that fun. Critical mode for Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix is easily not just one of the best hard modes I’ve ever played, but is the only way to play the game for me now. I played this game again last year, and it was Critical for just that reason. I had no trophy this time, I just wanted to replay the game and it was my instant reaction.

The gameplay is phenomenal, the story does work, the characters are wonderful, and dare I say the artstyle makes the graphics hold up. I may love the first game more, but nothing will stop me from saying II is a masterpiece of a game as well. It could have ended here or after Days, and I’d have been satisfied, and I think a lot more fans than they realize would have too.

Rating - 9.5/10

Pokémon Emerald

https://nintendowire.com/news/2020/05/01/pokemon-emerald-is-now-15-years-old-in-north-america/

Pokémon Emerald is a game I’d be able to talk for way too long about. I mentioned it before in a Pokémon game review, but this is my favorite of the series and currently my favorite video game period. While Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch theoretically gave me more of what I look for in a game, there is no game I played more than Emerald and that will never change.

I love the graphics of this game, which hold up for someone who is not fond of pixel art all that much thanks to a vibrant color palette that also has clever use of darker shades. I love the pair of villainous teams who are truly out to better the planet despite how simple-minded and short-sighted they ultimately are. The fights, sceneries, so many elements are basically iconic to me: fighting Maxie both at the top of Mt. Chimney and the space station, Archie before he unleashes Kyorge, champion Wallace whom does work as a water champion since it fits the region, Flannery’s difficult to understand yet easy to remember gym puzzle, New Mauville, Sootopolis, secret boss Stephen Stone, the ridiculously impressive Battle Frontier, even the cave with only Smeargle and items.

Ruby and Sapphire’s glow-up was the best the series ever had to offer, not that I’ve been lacking for great picks afterwards either. It’s the one I think of when I think of Pokémon and even just when I think of the joy video games can bring you. Every gym is great, every character is great, the Pokémon are chosen perfectly for the region and the region itself is so well designed. Yeah, Gen 3 is my favorite generation of Pokémon purely due to this one game being it’s star attraction. Every Gen has one, but Emerald was the gem of gemstones it turns out.

Rating - 10/10

Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory

https://www.facebook.com/DigimonGaming/posts/digimon-story-cyber-sleuth-hackers-memory-will-include-two-new-female-characters/764664913707197/

From Pokémon to the franchise a surprising amount of people assume ripped it off. Thanks to the names and the fact both have people interacting with monsters as friends I sort of understand, but to make it short Digimon started life as a Virtual Pet for keychains and then grew to manga and anime, it’s much less consistent with it’s rules on how that works than Pokémon since it does multiple continuities even though they will always have similar within the franchise so they don’t feel out of place. Both are fun franchises with their ups and downs but really couldn’t be much less alike since both keep to their own strengths and neither have tried to copy the other honestly at all.

Cyber Sleuth was a Digimon Story game, a spin-off dating back to at least the Nintendo DS. The focus was on having Digimon partners for party members while experiencing a story line, and Cyber Sleuth was held in high regard among the line as it continued to have an excellent story while also buffing out the massive issues older games had. I didn’t play them, but I understand it was fixes to gameplay difficulty asking way too much of the player without being fun or rewarding in return, and I believe also less bugs. I did play Cyber Sleuth and I loved the game, feeling it a normal 7 for RPG fans but a 9 for Digimon fans as it really captured the best the franchise does for character strengths, hateable villains, heartbreaking moments, and I was happy to hear that game was getting an interquel called Hacker’s Memory.

I played it when it came out too, and at first the shock of a great Digimon game wasn’t there so I wasn’t as instantly surprised, yet felt it was better anyway. Then I played even more.

Hacker’s Memory is essentially a perfect game despite needing the first game to understand some of the story elements.

Hacker’s Memory is excellent in how it treats RPG narratives and characters. You aren’t the ultimate hero, you are a nobody who has their own story that earnestly has nothing to do with the main plot. You get to taste herodom, but you are still a face in the crowd, never the chosen one and never able to change how the story has to still go. No matter how great or bad things go for you, it’s only your story, which funnily enough means you have more personality than the real hero whom must be stuck with RPG tropes.

It makes your victories truly feel like yours, and your crushing moments even worse. Chitose, Wormon, Ryuji, Yu, and Erika. Your trusted companions who are side characters just like you, never mentioned before and shown why. No matter what they will mean to you.

Other sides of the real main characters, new mechanics to freshen up the monotony, better online, customization, and hell now you can even get the game bundled with the first on PC and Switch. I got Platinum in my replay, and you need to play both. Enjoy that first game, because the real game is right after.

Rating - 10/10

And that my friends, is the end of the list. This took around as long as I couldn’t help but assume. Among the mess of the past year, it was good to have some very great games to keep me sane. I don’t like how the game industry treats it’s employees, pumps out soulless cash grabs, overcharges for DLC and minor details, and so I will always champion great experiences I'm clearly not getting many other places these days with video games.

As for the games I’d recommend the most, let’s end the story with them. The eleven games that earned a 9 or more! Take care everyone. Play some video games, eat something tasty, and stay safe so normalcy can come back.

Best of the Best!

Pokémon Emerald

Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory

Sam & Max The Devil’s Playhouse

Brother’s A Tale Of Two Sons

Spyro Reignited Trilogy

Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix

Red Dead Redemption 2

Saints Row The Third Remastered

Donut County

Destroy All Humans! 2

Pokémon Let’s Go! Pikachu

Hitman Absolution HD

EVERY GAME I PLAYED IN 2020 (PART 2)

And now the second part of my long, long experience with video games during 2020. They helped make the time shorter, better, longer, and worser.

At this point in my story, I’d packed up a decent amount of my things and headed back to my parents’ house because the country side was practically free from COVID-19 while my city was the only part of the state where it was thriving. Just under the wire too, as the Governor pulled a temporary block on traffic that upcoming weekend, a call we may never know how badly we needed. As for the gaming aspect, I packed up my Switch and all of it’s physical games, but my Xbox One and PS4 were left to gather dust. Console gaming would easily continue though as my beloved PlayStation 3 got plenty of use, enough so that I picked it for the heading image over the 4.

I got to clean house with old games I never finished, digitally bought more games and even DLCs while the PS3 store still existed (this was the year they finally pulled it’s plug so once again I was just under the wire), and this selection of games ranged from very average to quite great. Focusing now on two of my favorite consoles ever made now, let’s look at the second part of my gaming journey of the year! And as always, the best way to support me is to buy my most recent novel here!

Spyro Reignited Trilogy

https://store.steampowered.com/app/996580/Spyro_Reignited_Trilogy/

The Reignited Trilogy is jaw dropping in it’s artstyle. Spyroscope is such a genius way to recreate older games with better controls that I hope the technology is shared to other developers. Image the likes of Silent Hill, a series where the original code is lost, given a Reignited type of remake. With Spongebob also recently receiving a beautiful remake, I have hopes that other games that are good even with age to get that chance to shake off the dust and jump into the spotlight again.

So, I said I brought my Switch and I wasn’t lying. I played this on a Switch cartidge in handheld, and honestly Spyro did on occasion wig out when charging. I heard about glitches when I played this on the Xbox One but didn’t encounter them, not to say they don’t exist, this is just a reminder that sometimes glitches are console exclusive. The PS4 is the biggest seller, even though the Switch is serious competition right now, so my guess is most people played Spyro on PlayStation therefore the bugs were given more notice. Xbox One was practically bug free, Switch has some wonkiness in handheld mode but I can’t confirm for docked.

I did get those bugs on the PS4 version though…….

Yeah a few months in my state had a window where things were safer, so I returned briefly to grab more stuff. My PS4 being chosen since the Xbox One is just too big and heavy for a stop that quick. So, I also played Reignited on PS4. My third copy of the remake, which is also the fifth copy of these games in total for me. To be fair; I’ve done everything too. PS4 and Xbox versions, every trophy and achievement popped. Switch version was just story completion, but boy even just doing that was pure fun.

These remakes improve the first and second game so much, making the originals obsolete. As a Spyro: Year of the Dragon fan? I’m more positive then some of them were, as I think some stuff is also improved like Agent 9’s control scheme and camera, while some stuff is objectively worse but not game breaking. Also, the flying isn’t worse, we’re just not as used to it yet. In fact after playing three versions, I’m fully competent with them now myself. Swimming isn’t bad either, a bit floaty but unlike Song of the Deep it doesn’t make me irritated let alone angry.

If there’s some things in Year that I think were better in the original, I feel I can’t do a 10. However;

Rating - 9.5/10

Mortal Kombat 9

https://www.amazon.com/Mortal-Kombat-Komplete-Playstation-sony-playstation3/dp/B006ZTHFPS

I originally played Mortal Kombat 9 back when I was still in college, I want to say back in 2014. I liked what I played, but also, this was a game I borrowed from a friend of my mother (her kid wasn’t using it and didn’t mind) and figured I’d just buy it myself later on. This year, I still didn’t buy it, but my nephew gifted to me his collection since he didn’t want it and this was in there. I forgot to buy the DLC, and the Komplete Edition wasn’t the edition he had but that cover art was so nice I picked it for the picture.

Playing it all the way through the story, doing some ladder matches, I still quite liked it. Now, let’s also discuss how I get along with fighting games. I’ve always liked them, and I can understand the mechanics to ones I get really into, but that’s also the thing. I’m always decent at the single player, and decent is only decent. Mortal Kombat demands a bit more even for single player, and I could feel it, but not in a way I feel makes the game worse. I’m the type of person who calls out pointlessly hard difficulty, and even with some bosses feeling cheap, I can’t wholeheartedly say that’s what happened here. The controls were too good and the combos were too well defined to say “cheap difficulty”. I beat the final boss, and I cheesed him with a combo that felt right for me. There’s times cheesing it is actually a sign that the gameplay really is well done, and like I said, I came up with the method instead based on what was working for my personal play style even with help being something I could and did look up. It’s partly unfair, but advice online is to just cheese him, and if you can find your own method of cheesing, that’s a decent sign of good programing.

This game does ask a lot of you, in ways that mean as a completionist I can’t be bothered. The servers are down so online wasn’t a thing I got to experience anyway, and that might even say why I still liked this game, since there’s no way an online player would have let me take a step, let alone throw a punch.

Rating - 7.5/10

Ratchet: Deadlocked

https://ratchetandclank.fandom.com/wiki/Ratchet:_Deadlocked

When I bought my PlayStation 3, I started with a bundle that came with the HD ports of Ratchet and Clank 1 through 3. I was creeping up on my 50th Platinum trophy, and finally buying and playing the port of Deadlocked sounded like the right call. I’ll just say now that I did get the Platinum, and this was definitely one of the better Platinums from those first 4 games, maybe even the best one. And also, this game is an equal to the other early R&C games. It’s completely fun, the jokes land, and the corporate satire is still shockingly smart for a game series written with young teens in mind. Although that makes a bit more sense, young teens are cynical enough to be anti-corporate and youthful enough to enjoy goofy and silly humor. It’s a mix of being old enough to get what the joke is mocking, and young at heart enough to appreciate the goofiness.

As an adult with a college education, boy, those digs are layered just enough to be obvious while still being genuinely funny. Grand Theft Auto is not a series I can always call good-written comedy, but the jokes tend to still be funny since they are just juvenile enough that I can basically laugh at the joke itself. Ratchet Deadlocked is a better attempt honestly. The main villain Gleeman Vox is a reality TV host who kidnaps heroes to kill each other or die violently in an obstacle course, while also owning a news network that gaslights the populace into believing these known heroes are actually hardcore criminals. His greatest star is, a hero who went missing on purpose to live in the glory of the games and is treated on the network as still a hero. The news network, is named after main villain Gleeman Vox. Gleeman, Vox. It’s not subtle and no, I don’t think it’s tacky considering how long the thing they were mocking continued on. Reality TV too for that matter.

As for the gameplay, as fun as 3 and brings it’s own unique ideas. I have a fondness for the original, loved the second my first time playing, and also loved the third. With Deadlocked now under my belt, it’ll take a while if you ask me which is my favorite. Somehow, not having Clank with you still made great gameplay, and the series managed to continue it’s fun, funny, satirical gunfest for a fourth try.

Rating - 8.5/10

Scribblenauts Unmasked

https://store.steampowered.com/app/249870/Scribblenauts_Unmasked_A_DC_Comics_Adventure/

I love Scribblenauts Unlimited. I played it when it was new on PC, and I’ve played it countless times since then. My mother bought me the Switch version of it way back on Christmas of 2019, and that rerelease happens to come with Unmasked, which I also played on PC years back.

And, yeah. Unmasked was a big step down back then. However, in that period of my life, things were really not turning around and it affected how much I liked certain things. There were a lot of games I played and couldn’t get into, for reasons not remotely related to the games themselves. That’s why I skipped Unlimited for the time being, I wanted to see if I liked Unmasked more this go around.

And, I think it’s possible that I did? There’s some fitting character writing for the famous DC heroes and villains. Seeing Max and Lily be fans of the characters was okay, thankfully not annoying. The amount of obscure characters was fitting for the nature of the series and a nice addition for mega fans of DC whom play this. Granted, that kind of means you need to be a huge DC fan who are fine playing a very kiddy game. This game doesn’t really have sudden dark moments, and the gameplay is watered down compared to the shockingly open gameplay Unlimited did excellently. And yes, you need to be a huge fan, a casual DC fan might like some of this but there’s so many references a casual fan will not get. Do you know who Brainiac and Darkseid are? Oh you do? How about the Orange Lantern Corps? Yeah, little more lost aren’t you, and they are story based so you’ll have to hope the in-game explanation is good enough.

The grind for new levels was also annoying. Instead of new missions you could replay if you want but that will only reward you once, this time you get randomly generated quests from a sample bucket. And yes, they can end up screwing you over by accidently killing another quest giver even before you do anything, since it’s with licensed characters with code that demands they always fight certain characters. And, Mister Mxyzptlk will also sometimes force challenges that give bonus points but will honestly just screw you over since they never really work with the RNG of the quests.

I was going to say that I still liked it this time, but I also just forgot all of those problems until writing this. Sorry to Scribblenauts Unmasked, but while I can’t say bad game, I can’t say it’s worth it for too many even with it being included with a port of an excellent game.

Rating - 5/10

Batman: Arkham Origins

https://store.steampowered.com/app/209000/Batman_Arkham_Origins/

Oh hey, another DC game. I, kind of don’t remember if that was on purpose. This game I bought a digital copy from PSN, and also bought the Cold, Cold, Heart DLC. Not to spoil, but that wasn’t the only thing called “Batman Arkham Origins” I bought, but that’s in part 3!

Alright; so I’d previously played Asylum, City, and Knight. I really like Asylum and loved City, but I really did not enjoy Knight. There’s a few small bright spots, but that game’s story was a great fall from the rest of the series and the Batmobile was both overused and not fun, a mix of the two things you really do not want either of when designing gameplay gimmicks.

Now, Origins was the black sheep for some time. Rocksteady didn’t make it and the famous voice actors were replaced. The reaction from Knight was also divisive, which caused some gamers to give Origins another try, and the reaction became more positive for a decent number of them.

I’m not going to call this as great as City, but honestly, I think I enjoy this more than Asylum! Boss fights were a step-up from Asylum and had moments as great as the fights in City, with Copperhead being a new favorite of mine. The story is more interesting than Asylum with it’s twists and turns. The roster of characters gave both new information on heroes and villains we saw before and added some new characters to really expand the world.

The Riddler trophies are still fun to earn, the world map didn’t feel too reused, and the only real problem I had was Batman did feel a bit less comfortable to control this time but not enough to ruin the game. I’m just going to say it, please play this one if you didn’t think it was worth it at the time. I hear the PC port isn’t great, but the game itself has some great elements that the fans who looked over it are missing something if they continue doing so. Don’t forget the Freeze DLC though, it may just be a re-telling of the classic animated series episode, but it’s a great addition with everything it does.

Rating - 7.5/10

Pokémon Let’s Go Pikachu

https://www.nintendo.co.uk/Games/Nintendo-Switch/Pokemon-Let-s-Go-Pikachu--1382836.html

We’re about to start a minor trend for the second entry of my 2020 gaming list, a game that I have already talked about on this blog before. That’s not to say I have nothing to add, it’s just to say that I covered what I loved about this game so well that I don’t need to add that much more.

Well to start, I beat the game. While I was savoring the game back in 2019, the decision to eat through my backlog as quickly as I could while I had the free time meant I practically bee-lined to the Elite Four when I picked this back up. It’s still like I said before, Let’s Go took the Gen 1 experience and really made it that special experience I feel I never got with them before. I connected with my Pokémon in the way I always hope to, the gameplay loop was satisfying and entertaining, and I really loved the changes to the narrative. It’s somehow the events of the original, takes place well after the original, and also has minor things that happen differently. It’s messy to say, but amazing to see.

Between this and the live-action movie, we’re seeing that even after all this time, Pikachu really isn’t overrated as a mascot. The mainline games certainly had a divisive take, less so after the DLC but still there, but as someone who liked that experience I still say Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee completely deserved the more warm response that it got. I now own a real Pokeball, and I’ve played one of the best Pokémon games enough to enter my team into the hall of fame.

Rating - 9/10


Sam & Max The Devil’s Playhouse

https://store.steampowered.com/app/901399/Sam__Max_The_Devils_Playhouse/

If you don’t know Sam & Max, then you don’t know one of the greatest franchises I’ve ever personally come across. Sam & Max are the freelance police, complete pyschopaths whom uphold the law from genuinely evil people no matter how wacky the situation. Devil’s Playhouse was the finale to the game series by TellTale, just at around the same time they got mainstream popularity from The Walking Dead. I’m sure that series is great, but I stuck with my favorite nutjobs and their point-and-click comedy adventures when it came to TellTale. I even own the DVD cases which you could only buy from the site, a feature they took away way before the bankruptcy.

What made The Devil’s Playhouse different from the rest was not just Max’s new gameplay use of psychic powers, it was the earnest attempt at giving these two a more important and emotional story than before. No it’s not an arthouse or the like, but that’s also why it’s so good! It’s not overwritten for the type of media it is, we still get the nutty yet nonsense yet dark yet intelligent jokes the franchise always had, but we got just the right mix of earth shattering consequence and stakes that the series usually would have scoffed at. Played just straight enough to land, not enough to be out-of-place.

Save the World (which was season one) was a laughfest that still had a final villain, but those stakes were still just funny and only threatening enough to make it clear the bad guy deserved to lose. Beyond Time and Space (the second season) tried better world building and while a good game, felt underwhelming to the first in terms of being funny and fitting. Devil’s Playhouse was nothing short of being funnier than Save the World and more intriguing than Time and Space.

Sam & Max’s identical grandfathers, General Skun-ka’pe, Charlie Hotep, Sal, Papierwaite, The Narrator, Norrington, Junior, Sammun-Mak, so many new characters whom only added and never substracted from the game.

Sam, Max, Sybil, Lincoln’s Head, Stinky, Girl Stinky, The C.O.P.S., Momma Bosco, Agent Superball, Harry Moleman, Jurgen, all returning characters we got new sides to and fleshed out better than ever before.

It’s fresh and funny still, the gameplay gimmicks work surprisingly well even on the PlayStation 3 version, and boy am I ready for Skunkape’s remaster coming in the future. I got every trophy for each episode, because this game deserved nothing less from me.

Rating - 10/10

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

https://elderscrolls.bethesda.net/en/skyrim

Hey, you, you’re finally awake. Awake enough to see that I’ve, to put it bluntly, complained enough about this game before. Here was the first time, here is the second time.

With two posts already, there’s barely anything to say. Yes, I got every single PS3 trophy, just like how I got every single Xbox One achievement. I have done everything with a pretend award other people can see. Twice. I’m an expert in this game, and I really don’t necessarily like it.

Like I said the first time I actually do like the main story despite gripes and I loved smithing. Like I said the second time I have come to appreciate the character writing of Ulfric Stormcloak despite finding a majority of other characters very flat. Like I said both times, the DLC is very good all-around even if I think the vampires are a bit flat when you side with them.

What is there to go back to? I’m done with the game, and of course I still have those pangs in my head that say it must just be that I’ll get it eventually or that my most recent experience was the objectively worst version so of course I was even more negative.

But, a lot of me still says; why? What’s there to do? Plenty of people still love this game, the warts do not bother them enough to get in the way. Well, sorry to say, these warts are just too big and bumpy for me with this game. I’ve loved games that I think I could objectively say were not as well made as this, I can even objectively say there’s quality in here that is sometimes overlooked. Of course, I don’t really need to go to bat for one of the most popular games ever made anyway. Ya’ll know why you like or don’t like it. I’m just not sure why I feel like I’ll bother again when I know I’ll probably like it less the next time. Although funny enough, I’m going to give it a slightly higher rating than last time since again, that was the PS3 version. We’ll call this the rating I’d currently give the updated versions.

Rating - 5.5/10

Hasbro Family Game Pack 3

https://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-Family-Game-Night-Playstation-3/dp/B003M986Y8

I’ll be honest with ya’ll, I forgot to mark this one in my Excel doc. Good thing I did a whole post about it already, huh?

Unlike Skyrim and Let’s Go, I think the past post is exactly enough. I broke down every game in this games collection, and I stand by all of it. I have touched it since, and will be keeping it in the collection, it’s just not a game with enough nuisances or ideas that several articles are needed. But still, read the entry for yourself, because the game is quite good with some serious hiccups and reading that ahead of time isn’t a bad idea for you retro game collectors now that the Xbox 360, Wii, and PlayStation 3 era is truly retro now. Not joking, they’re retro now, which for some reason is wild to me.

Rating - 7.5/10

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

https://blog.playstation.com/2012/08/13/playstation-all-stars-battle-royale-moves-to-november/

So while I haven’t talked about this game in it’s own blog entry in the past, I did briefly touch on it when I reviewed Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL. It was to compare the two games, since both were serious attempts to try the Smash Brothers format for the Sony and Cartoon Network IPs. In the end I said I liked both games, but found myself more interested in the Cartoon Network one for it’s unique spins and decently fun mechanics for some of it’s characters.

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale was also the first game I played on PlayStation 3, it was the other game bundled with my system alongside the Ratchet and Clank HD Trilogy. I don’t think that has much of anything to do with, why I ended up not jelling with the game as much this time.

Earlier I said I bought DLCs while I could, and I did that here. I bought the remaining characters and stages I hadn’t bought already, and then played with them. With those two, I finished up the campaigns for every available character, and now that that means I really have done everything this game has to offer (I even did stuff online, I got Platinum a while back), I have the perspective that this game is not much more than a letdown.

Fighting feels alright, but some characters just don’t really click in a way that feels right for even just single player. Punch Time Explosion had bad balancing, but I do think the fun characters in that game played better. Combos were fairly generic all-round in All-Stars, some characters have nice animations in their attacks but roughly you might find one attack that’s good enough to spam and you’ll be doing that. Weapons aren’t very compelling, and I can’t even think of the assist characters if there were anyway.

It’s, shockingly unremarkable. I’m with the crowd that says a sequel would improve things, but also, I think it’s been so long since this game came out that I’m okay admitting this franchise failed and we can just move on. When licensed IPs like Punch Time or even the now currently meme’d Shrek Super Slam have elements I think did concepts of Smash Brothers-like much better, I’d rather those got redo’s or sequels and I’m really not even kidding. Those two games are worth finding in a retro store for 5 to 15 dollars. All-Stars, well, you can’t even get the DLC or play online anymore, and I don’t think the single player with base characters is worth as high as 10, and you can probably find it for less than 5 without much effort. I’m still up for a second try I suppose, but I’d go in more skeptic than other game franchises I’d also give a second try to.

Rating - 4/10

And that does it for part 2. Part 3 will be coming, well, shortly but not too shortly. For some reason a chunk of the final games happen to be the games I have the most to talk about. I’m planning on stopping at part 3, but that’s going to make part 3 very beefy if I had to guess.

I'm Trying to Remember Something Scary

You’ll have to pardon me for a second or so. I know it’s not the kindest of politest thing to bug total strangers over something they may not even be able to help you win. Let alone something that scared the living shit out of you, a lot of people get a little jumpy at the thought of remembering what scares them even slightly. You have a high fear tolerance and that makes people even less likely to help you. I can usually remember quite vividly what scared me, I can describe it to my friends so well that, well, they end up refusing to look it up themselves as all I need to end that sentence with. Saying anything else and you’ll all just think I’m bragging. Of course, I am, but if I keep doing so you’re not going to help me, and where’s the fun in that?

So I believe this was an internet hoax, or, knowing these things it could have been from some Japanese or Korean movie I’ve never heard of. Maybe even some low-budget flick that manages to have one good special effect, Couldn’t have been with a computer, nah, this is the kind of thing you know what actually there. Not behind you, not just next to you hiding in the bushes. The kind of, creature, that just bothers to stare you down right in front of you. Not gonna kill you, maybe not, it’s got a lot of other things it would like to do to you, and it wants you to figure that out first.

So the creeature looked like, ….. Shit, the creature had no brain. No, no why would I know it didn’t have a brain? Oh, hang on, the creature had the top half of it’s skull, head, ripped up. A sinew connecting what was left of the top, and all of the wet contents visible. It had, no, not it didn’t' have a, God what was it? Was the brain pulsing and bleeding profusely, or did it not have one? An empty void of red and black, staring into an abysmal void with no light or reflection. Hollow but dripping, no sound to be heard and yet you could hear something.

No, no if I can’t remember it that can’t be the thing I’m fogretting. I think it was this abomination that was the body of a serpent and the, body?, of a spider. Yeah, yeah, it had a head like a cobra and the mouth like a spider. The weird stubs that held large pearly white fangs, human like hairs forming some kind of, stubble?, that only really works on an ape. It had the tail and the twisting length of a large snake, and anaconda or a boa constrictor, something from the amazon but, crap I think it was bigger. Not building size, no, that would have been to laughable. Something, large than a crocadile, something that made me think it wasn’t a Photoshop, just an abomination or science or nature. The legs, right, spider legs, all nine or eight or ‘em, each one slowly pushing the entire body at a time, and I think it also rushed the screen, a light reaction, I mean, a lightning reaction. Arg, no, if I can’t remember the speed it can’t be the creature.

The creature it

Soprry, I just, I think I had a nose bleed. It’s all over my fu-, aug, ouch FU-! WHy are my palms red?

Sorry, I just, I think I had a nose bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sorry, I think had a nose bleed. So this creature, the thing was. Oh COME ON! What the hell was it? A brain a spider a snake a corpse a carpet a knife a barbaque a crocodile a

Sorry, I’m trying to remember something scary. I’ve been having a little trouble remembering something scary.

My head itches.

Sorry, I think I had a no

I Am the First Person to get Every Trophy in Solbrain: Knight of Darkness *Language NSFW*

In August of 2016, forgive me for forgetting which exact day, there was a certain game that appeared for sale of the PlayStation Store. The game cost $13.99, and was called Solbrain: Knight of Darkness. There was, however, a special sale for members of PlayStation Plus that made the game only cost $9.79, and during that sale, I bought the game for myself because I knew it wasn't going to stay on the store for long.

You see, Solbrain: Knight of Darkness is a fucking terrible game. I knew it was when I first heard about it, and I had to spend time debating with myself about buying it, because I knew it would suck, but I had to decide if it was worth getting the game as I knew without a doubt it would eventually disappear forever. Not because it was bad though, because if that was the case, it wouldn't have appeared on PlayStation to begin with. It's because the game was full of completely stolen assets.

Allow me to show you the video that first informed me about this pile of shit calling itself a game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ9XpnDlv00

Video belongs to Roosterteeth.

Channel name: Inside Gaming (Formerly The Know)

I think that's enough backstory, I'm going to now tell you the story of this blog's title. You see, because Roosterteeth did not play the game themselves (not that they had any reason to, let's be fair) they didn't know about about just how broken this game was to play.

For starter's, the fucking camera does not stop moving if you don't touch it. It keeps moving to the right if your finger isn't directly over it and guiding it. I've, no joke, never seen a video game with a broken camera like this. Then there's the enemies sometimes not getting hurt by your attacks because I guess you're too close to them or something, even though all enemies only need two hits to die. Unless you use your only magic attack, which somehow fucking kills everything around you. In fact that there are limited uses for it, making that one spell the most "video game" thing about this video game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAbrgSMEfJQ

Video done by: Cornshaq

Channel name: CornshaqGaming

Cornshaq can describe the rest to you, especially the fact that the enemies will sometimes glitch behind something and you can't kill them. And you can't save, or even fucking pause.

So until Monday, February 13th 2017, 2:48 A.M. Eastern Time, nobody had beaten this game on the PlayStation 4. No one had even beaten the tenth level, meaning they could not move to the eleventh/final level.

Until me.

I'm so far the only person who had the patience to beat this game on PlayStation.

And I watched the non-existant ending. Which was the credits, followed by a thank you to someone, and a promise the franchise will be back. I'm sure it will but I doubt it'll be on PlayStation.

This garbage banished from the PlayStation store until the ends of time. This game only sixty or so people bought and played before the plug was pulled. None of them could finish level 10, let alone the final one. I took the challenge and I fucking won.

The funny thing is, anyone who's never played this game will think this is a minor victory. You'll just think "The game was shit, clearly everyone else just gave up because it was so bad."

That's half of it. A game being hated will prevent people from finishing it. Such as Naughty Bear, which I have admitted to liking on this blog the last time I went uncensored, or the new game based on Ghostbusters that also came out in 2016. Both of those games have quite a low percentage of players who bothered to continue, let alone finish.

But anyone who has played Solbrain knows that is not the entire case. A shit game gets people to give up because they are tired of how awful it is, and they need something else.

But when a shit game is also difficult, purely due to the fact it's broken, that is when people stop because they end up being afraid this beyond shitty game will put them in a mental ward.

Hell, hours after I'd beaten it. After I'd gone to bed and woken up. I got this message from someone on PlayStation Online:

I ended up having a nice chat with this guy about it. We apparently had the same strategy of keeping enough enemies alive so that if anyone was stuck, we could still die so it would restart the level. Because thankfully dying doesn't put you at the beginning of the game, only the level, this isn't an "old school" game, just a broken one.

So let me repeat, if you get stuck you cannot pause and you cannot save. If you can't die, you have to exit the game and start from the very beginning. A game that is broken in every single fucking way, and I'm the only PlayStation player to have beaten it thus far. This poor sap is probably going to try it again now, he or she actually had more trophies than I did before I beat it, they were the original number 1 player before I kicked them down and took a crown they can't ever have because I got it first. Sure, whoever this was will probably be the second person to beat it, and I would wish 'em luck, but I also hope they decided against it. Not because it diminishes my win, because it doesn't, but because I wouldn't wish having to suffer through this game on anyone. (UPDATE: They beat it not long after the original posting here. No one else has done so in the almost three years it’s been since this post though, I’ve heard trophy support got pulled for newer players after a while because of the delisting but I still see the game in my trophies list so I don’t know if that’s true or not)

It took me over two hours just for the tenth stage, as stated above, they kept getting stuck on the fucking roofs. I didn't quit because I knew I would be the first forever, and with a game like this, that's an honor nobody wants but I am so proud of myself that I did it.

Then again, this game is so infamous others want to try it now. This is a section of another PlayStation message I got, from before I went back to complete it:

I had no idea people were actually considering hunting down this game. And I'm the asshole who bought it because I knew it'd get taken down. (By the way, I’ve recently turned off the ability for random people to message me. LOTS of people ask for this game and it’s obnoxious as it is shady as fuck.)

So I am the king of Solbrain, for whatever that is worth. These trophies are so rare, as the above picture shows, they remained at 0.0% even after I became the first person to get them. Speaking of, here's a picture from popular PlayStation trophy help site PSNProfiles.

Before you ask about the ad I got, I have a blog post about my love for toys-to-life games, and Toys R Us was the most convenient place to buy them. Usually my ads are Pizza Hut or Roosterteeth so take this one for what you will.

They couldn't figure out that I'm in the "100% club" even though if you click on it, I'm fucking there. They later fixed it but here is visual proof of the situation:

Yes, that's a PlayStation move controller on the far right of the ad. Never bought one but I consider getting PSVR ever now and again for some reason.

They list 1 person, and they changed my percentage. BUT, when I check the trophies on my personal PlayStation 4, it still says they are 0.0% earned by players. I think PlayStation official doesn't keep track of the game anymore because they removed it, so for the sake of argument, let's see who's closer to the truth.

According to my calculator app, 1/62 is:

0.0161290322580645

Move the period to the right two places, then round up, and you have 1.61%. So PSNProfiles does in fact use proper math. However, I kind of like 0.0% better, because it makes me look even more impressive. I also assume the number pool they are using is the same or close to 62 players, because if you cared about this game I can't imagine you are somebody who doesn't use PSNProfiles. Either way, my real percentage is 1.61%, but I personally think I deserve the much more brag-worthy 0.0% (UPDATE: The above did change but I was stuck at 0.0% for over a week after earning the trophies, the servers failed to recognize anyone had played the game.)

Hey, I want to get semi-serious for a moment, while on the note of what I deserve. Because it's something everyone who played this game deserves.

A refund.

I admittedly could play through this game kind of having an alright time, it was my kind of unforgivable shit. People like me don't just have a list of the worst things they've ever played or seen. They also have a list of the most objectively bad things that they didn't hate. Those lists sometimes contain the stuff that truthfully goes beyond the realms of horrible, media that has no reason to have existed and that no one truly gains anything from. This game tops my latter list, no competition.

And no one got a refund. If you're going to refund anyone, refund the guy who stood up to this game and kicked it's ass. And if you're going to refund me, you better refund all 62, maybe more, who bought this fucking stolen-asset-ridden broken pile of game. If hardly anyone bought it, which is what happened, then how much money would you really lose?

I may be proud of myself for beating a game before anyone else did on your system, but I should have never known about this game, because that would mean it didn't exist in the first place. This was not a slip-up, this was an abomination that you let go buy hoping no one caught it. I mean the developers, but I can't imagine the person from PlayStation who approved it simply "didn't know better".

Fuck, the orcs from Skyrim are an enemy. That's not rhetoric:

Oh, and the Spriggans are as well:

I sort of understand a shady developer stealing one thing from a super popular game, but two? And Skyrim of all games? That's almost asking to get caught.

I'll always find a disgusting charm for this game, but it's this game that let you open the flood gates. This game is why you are now selling Life of Black Tiger and Firefighters: The SImulation, because after Solbrain, anything looks better. I almost love my time with this game, I am proud of beating it, and I also hate everything this game stands for and what followed suite.

By the way, the main character's face looks like a doll's head. Just me? It's creeped me out since the beginning.

Whatever, I'm the winner and this game sucks. Here's a picture of the problem that other guy mentioned:

Squint and you can see it. He's a ninja or something with to orange curved swords. I assume it's from another game.

Also, in case anyone was ready to correct me, there was a PC version of this game but it's also gone from history. I don't know if I'm the first person to beat the game in general because of that, only the PlayStation 4 version, but if you own the PC version I would assume someone could mod the game for you to give you the ability to save and at least pause, and I would not consider that cheating. I would consider that as doing the developers job for them. I did it the hard way, no one else has to.

Also also, the fairy lady you see promoting this game in the header, that's artwork stolen from a deviantART page. Here's the link so you can see who really made it: 

http://coocooon.deviantart.com/art/Elf-wallpaper-196617416 

Well, I didn't get a Platinum trophy for this game, it didn't have one, so I'll just make one myself the same way the people who made this game would do it. I'm going to use the picture for Cabela's Big Game Hunter: Pro Hunts's Platinum and crappily edit in a description that has poor grammar.

I Don't Have Anything Intersting To Say This Week

Well this is interesting.

So I originally wanted to do a post that required a lot of time and effort. The idea came to me one day before I started writing, so yeah, I have absolutely no time for that right now if I wanted to post it in time for my weekly deadline of every Wednesday.

I then thought about taking more about video games, but I've been talking about video games on here a lot. I don't want to be a video game blogger, and it was starting to feel like that was what I was becoming.

I'm mostly supposed to use this blog as a way to promote myself, and to keep myself writing every week. Well, this post will do the latter half. If I somehow got popular from this post than I'd be very blown away since this is the first post I'm putting almost no effort into. At least I'll still be proof-reading it before I post it.

I guess I could just ask how you guys are doing. That's "guys" in the gender-neutral sense. Same way I use the word "dude" if I'm being frank. I don't know why, I just never really used either word to direct to any specific gender. World's getting more progressive so that's something I don't have to worry about changing about myself, that's good.

So yeah leave a comment saying how you're doing I guess. I'm sorry if things aren't going your way. Things happen but they shouldn't have to. If you're doing fine, cool, feel free to spread some of that happiness with the world.

Did any of you see the Nintendo Switch reveal? Personally I was more hyped for the console before the reveal, now my interest is waning a little bit. However, it's been a long time since I played a Mario game and Super Mario Odyssey looks like it might be the one to bring me back. Also, anyone else expecting Nintendo to make an Amiibo out of the new suddenly alive hat Mario wears for the game? Either on Mario or just by itself. They Amiibo practically everything, which I have to admire even though I only just bought my first Amiibo and I'm not planning on getting many more, just the recent Kirby ones.

I mentioned the Switch so, screw it, I'm putting it in the tags. I'm a starving artist who needs to get the word out, alright? Click-bait is more necessary than you think in this day and age. Is it day and age or day in age? I'm positive it's the former but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter and it's just a stupid saying.

Oh, speaking of sayings. You know "Curiosity killed the cat"? That's only the first half of the saying, the rest is "Satisfaction brought him back". Yeah, it's not supposed to be a warning against trying new things, it's meant to tell you that you should expand your horizons because you might like what you get. No wonder people are scared of trying new things now, some A-hole ruined a really good saying.

I guess this blog now does rambling posts as well. I'm following the leader just like everyone else who does entertainment. At least I'm better than Rob Schneider.

Seriously, what the hell was all that stuff he just said on Twitter? I'm not being political here, it didn't even sound like a conservative, it sounded like the ramblings of some mentally insane man who's been living alone for thirty years and barely remembers the language he speaks.

Also to be not-political with political things, apparently today there has been discussion on arming schools in defense of, of all things, grizzly bears. Only from one person so far but with these kind of things I'm sure a couple of people will raise their voice and say "It's such a big problem we always knew about! Finally someone gets it!" even though they never thought about bears in schools before or even knew what a bear was. 

Back on point, I don't care what side you're on, if you're that scared of a bear attacking a school you know you can just bait them, right? Animal bait exists, people use it to keep animals confided to one spot, often away from something important. National parks do this sometimes, I think, when they have picnic areas and try to keep the animals away, although mostly they just leave a million signs telling you it's a bad idea to leave your discarded food on the tables and please put them in the trash cans that are designed to not be openable by bears and raccoons. Hell I grew up in a state famous for bears and this is probably what we did if a bear sighting happened. Although I went to both a middle school and a high school with deep woods out back and the only time we hear about a bear attack was a joke a teacher told one time.

Whatever, it's over now. Have a good week, something better will come out next week.