Gamescom's 2024 Opener Felt Surprisingly Dull

Before we start this discussion, I’d like to just give a quick apology for the likelihood of spelling errors or inconsistencies this go around. I am on my own here but strive for professionalism, which means I typically reread these blog posts multiple times before I finish them, but I need to be timely today so the chance of spelling goofs is much higher than normal. I will also be speaking off the cuff for many of the game trailers, as one does, so expect an easy breezy attitude.

Gamescom happens every year, hosted by none other than Geoff Keighley, an industry man so well known that spellcheck was able to correctly identify his surname. For what it’s worth, I’ve liked Geoff for a while now. I noted back at my tenure freelancing for DualShockers that he is capable of being too commercial-focused, but, his love for video games is genuine and he can let it shine brightly.

Gamescom’s 2024 opener didn’t feel too commercial thankfully, it more so just happened to showcase games I overwhelmingly didn’t find myself caring about.

Let’s just get one thing out of the way; I’ve already stated my worries about Indiana Jones And The Great Circle, so I won’t replay that record this evening for you. We can also start with positives just for the sake of argument:

I’m excited for the Mafia series to come back, but then again, the trailer was nothing more than a teaser, and I have become far too cynical to be fully excited when that happens. I also think it’s great that Genshin Impact is coming to Xbox platforms, as while my time with Honkai Star Rail has still been short, I can tell there’s fun and quality from Hoyoverse, so allowing even more players to try their games out is welcome. It’s fun to hear about Secret Level, assuming it does live up to the hype of a full series that looks exactly like a modern video game cutscene.

There were too many games that looked technically fine but were elbow-deep into a franchise I am not familiar with and seemed very comfortable marketing off that familiarity. That is no fault of theirs, but it left me cold. I was also briefly intrigued by the above Call Of Duty, but entirely for the secret agent aspects. I found myself uninterested once it became a shootout and motorcycle chase, but I can still say I understand why fans would be pumped. It still looked more interesting to me than the last decade of the franchise, and it’s likely something I’ll play around with when I resubscribe to Game Pass, which is more than I have said about Call Of Duty in a long while.

But I’m sorry to say the event itself started off sour for me. The Borderland 4 announcement is a victim of terrible timing due to the movie being a massive critical and commercial flop, but it can also be slammed for featuring no gameplay or even as much as a character reveal!

The trailer for Goat Simulator Remastered is quite funny until the title drops. There is no reason to remaster a game that looks like crap on purpose and runs perfectly well on modern hardware. Polishing the turd would ruin the joke, and anyone who wants to play Goat Simulator can already do so. Putting it on stage for a large crowd only made it feel shallow.

What on God’s green Earth was Masters Of Albion? Directed by Fable creator and Lionhead founder Peter Molyneux, this game is an apparent return caused by an alleged yearning to come back to the console space after developing for mobile. I’m nothing short of worried that the mobile phone game market tainted Molyneux’s design, however, as Masters Of Albion reeks of mobile phone gaming down to even having a hand as a cursor to drag the objects of characters. It lacked any wit or charm to keep my interest. Molyneux has enough spite against him on the web, so I see no need to begrudge him just because of the internet’s beef, but I do wonder why this game was allowed on the show floor. Perhaps it’s secretly a masterpiece, but time will have to tell us that, as my eyes sure didn’t seem to think it is.

I’m outright confused about what there is left to talk in-depth about. As I said in the positives, many trailers felt like I was left out of the loop, and sadly that’s just as much a negative. Many new IPs and franchise staples had trailers leaving me puzzled and empty. I don’t wish to attack these games without knowing anything about them, all I would like to say is how I was left knowing nothing about them. I was just as empty from Little Nightmares 3 and I was Reanimal. As empty from the Zenless Zone Zero update trailer as I was from Marvel Rivals’s and Warhammer’s. I’d go as far as to guess these may very well all be good games, but the marketing was so underwhelming, especially as I have been intrigued by previous Little Nightmare game trailers and Zenless update trailers.

For everything E3 did wrong, it was rare to be so bored by an E3 conference, yet this year’s Gamescom has started as dull as a rusted nail. The tempo is off drastically, and I hope the following days are of more interest to those in attendance. I do if this is the case, as I could not help by notice that the oversized crowd made hardly a peep during the show. Unless they were not properly miked, they were as disinterested as I was.