How Come Some Romance Stories Have Epic Plots?

Now normally when I place a question mark in the title, it means I intend on answering a question I have posed. This time, I kind of don't really have an answer, I'm just reacting to something I have noticed as of that.

I went to my local library a few mere weeks ago and decided to have a little fun, I checked out three romantic novels, a genre I had yet to really read until now.

One was steamy and erotic, one was your typical "romance is the bestest", and this last one doesn't seem to be like the others but I'm only one-hundred pages in. Now, the first and last one decided it was important to have massive plots, like an epic, and both were magic based. The second one did not do anything like that, romance was the main plot, and everything else felt like a subplot, which if I'm being frank barely went anywhere and were obviously just excuses for the main plot to happen.

Now, the epic plot ones did admittedly have their plots as romance excuses as well. During the reading of the first one, I wondered why it bothered. I knew why I was reading it, the author knew why I was reading it, I felt like it could have just gotten away with the romance stuff and had no reason to have the other plot unless the author just really wanted it that badly. However, I did still like the plot. It was written well enough, and it didn't bother me.

I've let it stew in my mind, and I like the book more now. I'm reminding my own brain that the plot worked, that the author is a good writer and knew what she was doing, it may have made the book better and maybe it just simply didn't decrease the quality of the book, and really, that's what I ask for in a lot of media. It didn't distract me by feeling out of place for the kind of characters and setting the story had. So far, the last book is working out that way as well.

The second book made me laugh, and not because it was good. It was hokey, melodramatic, and frankly sickeningly sweet. More sinisterly and cynically, it felt like the author did not care about making something people would like. This felt like a cash-in, writing a book in a genre that is popular among book readers. Despite being a love story, there was no love from the author. I could be wrong, but that's what it felt like.

After all of this, I'm reminded of a quote. Popular Internet celebrity Lindsay Ellis, in I believe her "Nostalgia Chick" review of When Harry Met Sally...., stated that romance is often a subplot instead of a main plot. I don't remember if that was the video, or if the video still exists after the death of Blip, so I can't link it due to those uncertainties. Nonetheless, I'll try to recall why she said it, barring in mind it's been years since I heard the quote, but even if it's my interpretation there is still a valid point here. I believe she claimed that romance is typically viewed as boring by the typical audience member, that they want something else and need romance as a side thing. A special sauce, if you will, and that is definitely my words. I mostly agree with her, while also seeing that romance novels are incredibly popular reads.

After what I've read, I think even with romance novels, the main plots tend to end up being something else. Perhaps making them be obvious excuses for the romance to happen may be the case, but I can attest this can be done right.

Before, my question was a serious one. I wondered why there was a point. Now, it's a question I can't think of a serious answer for. From what I've seen, there do seem to be a good number of romance novels that insist on grandiose plots. At first I wondered why they needed to go so far into it said plots when the reader obviously wants just two people in love.

After reading all of one, and in the process or another. No, I get it. I get that having a regular plot, but with a stronger romance subplot than normal, does in fact make an enjoyable experience. Or, maybe just a romance main plot with an epic subplot.

I'm becoming fascinated by this genre now. Sadly, I tend to be fascinated by certain genres quite a bit, and then go on to my normal tastes a while later. Maybe I need to listen to my impulses and read more before I move on. It's a nice change of pace to be fully invested in the romance between two people, and then later digest what was a nicely written and in-depth plot.

Who knows?

I'm still saying there is nothing wrong with a story that is purely just the romance. Even if the one I read made me laugh at how awful it happened to be. I guess it's just more to choose, and variety is nice.

Video Game Review: Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL

Game played on: PlayStation 3

Also available on: Wii, Xbox 360

Is a remake of a game for: 3DS

When a mascot fighter game comes out, such as Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL, I always hear many legions of gamers cry out that the game is obviously a rip-off and no one should buy it. All this says to me is that there are not enough mascot fighters yet for everyone to realize this is in fact a genre, not just something done by Super Smash Bros. and not allowed by PlayStation or Cartoon Network or Small Arms or any other game companies and titles I can't remember right now. What I'm getting at, is that when this game was first announced, I had no problem with what the promise was. Personally, I'm a fan of Cartoon Network's programming, and earlier this year I finally bought the game and tried it for myself.

It's alright.

I spoil that now as the common opinions of the game tend to only be in two camps: You hate it or you think it's okay. For the same reasons, actually.

First let's get into what the game is supposed to be. Punch Time is meant to be a crossover fighting game for many of the popular cartoons from Cartoon Network. Most of the shows featured were no longer airing at the time, the only exception being Ben 10: Ultimate Alien. With that in mind, the game sort of feels like a celebration of Cartoon Network's past, their successes all coming together and letting us know how much they've appreciated our love for them.

However, not every former show received the love. It has been pointed out by many fans before me that both Courage the Cowardly Dog and Ed, Edd n' Eddy were not in the game. I've heard there were trademark or copyright reasons behind this, the Eds couldn't join in because they technically belong to AKA Studios for example, but I have no idea if this is true or not. They could have just glanced over them, or felt they had enough characters already.

I read one forum post about someone being infuriated that Flapjack and Chowder were playable when the Eds and Courage were not. I like those latter shows more as well, but, come on, it's nothing to be that riled up about. Granted I think this person didn't like Chowder or The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, but this is a forum post, they may normally be okay with those shows as far as I know. Even if I didn't like those shows, which I do, even more than I did when they originally premiered now that I've gone back to them, again, I still would not think it's worth getting riled up about.

You know what I'm riled up about? Every stage in this game is related to a show, baring the final stage, typical for these types of games. However, all of the shows related to the stages, also have characters you can play as. This is a missed opportunity. In Smash Bros. or PlayStation All-Stars, stages could be used to represent franchises that didn't get a character to represent them. Here, that is not the case. Not only that, but out of all the characters, only two of them are from franchises that are not also represented by a stage. Captain Planet and Johnny Bravo (Let's not count the also unlockable younger Ben Tennyson, I'm counting Ben 10 as it's own franchise and we also had Vilgax, older Ben, Kevin 11, and some stages). Bravo was an assist in the 3DS version, meaning in that version, the assists had one character to represent something different from the stages, but we'll talk about assists in a second.

Imagine how many more shows we could have gotten from stages. Picture it: Camp Kidney. Charles Darwin middle school. If you didn't want the Eds, I would have been happy fighting in the Cul de Sac, or Nowhere Kansas would have quelled some complaints as well. Some of you may say that Camp Lazlo or My Gym Partner's a Monkey don't need to be represented in this game, but I fully think they should. This is a celebration of the channel, put everything in that you can. Put in the live-action shows no one liked, put in Out of Jimmy's Head, get Hanna-Barbera characters, get the dubbed anime you used to air on Toonami, get Tom. Tom could be the next narrator, and that's not saying Space Ghost was a bad narrator nor a bad idea, just a thought in case they go somewhere different. Make the cross-over big enough that you add in Kid's WB characters. People would lose their minds if you did that, and everyone knows Warner owns both, I can imagine this happening. Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes air on CN, and I've already seen how open to Warner is with cross-overs thanks to LEGO Dimensions.

What I can't imagine happening is a cross-over with Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. Disney and Viacom aren't part of Warner, stop acting like it in forum posts. It won't happen. I did see someone say they'd like to see Ash Ketchum on, and I can picture that considering where Pokemon played on both CN and Kid's WB. It'd be weird as I'm almost positive a lawyer or someone would prevent Pikachu from appearing as well, but hey, I'd still be for an Ash Ketchum without his Pokemon in a fighting game. It'll work or it won't, and I'm fine with either due to how cool and hilarious it would me.

To get back on track, let's discuss the assist characters. They are, hands down, the best use of assist characters I've seen in a mascot fighter. Each one either does a lot of damage, or heals a lot of damage. Sometimes, they screw you, because they can damage anyone in the area including you, but they can still be worth it. Now, where they really shine, is when you activate a certain assist with a certain character. Their powers combine and they unleash an incredibly powerful attack. Many of these do better damage than the character's special move, and most of them outshine what the assist would normally do. Some of them made sense, other combinations came out of nowhere, and that only added to the joy of what was happening.

Speaking of, I never realized how much the candy pirates from Codename: Kids Next Door and the characters of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack had in common until this game realized it and had the two meet. It was one of those "OH!" moments that made this game worth playing as a CN fan.

Now, mechanically, as a game. Here's the problems:

Many characters control fine, but there is no balancing. This game, while having a local multiplayer (no online but I don't consider that a downside), was clearly built with single player in mind only. Some characters just don't do much damage, and others are practically unstoppable. I found I liked playing with Flapjack a lot, but once I played again in hard mode, I never really used anybody other than Aku and HIM. Kevin 11 is overpowered and recommended by many for hard mode as well, and I saw why. Granted, yes this means the characters you figured would be powerful are hilariously fun in how overpowered they are, but this is a game I would like to play with other people, and all that would happen (I assume) is that whoever picks Aku or HIM would be the winner by default. Monkey was the only exception, in my opinion. I figured a superhero would be really useful, but I ended up hating this control scheme and just kept playing as Flapjack.

One small grip I found was with a section of the unlockables. Stages and characters were fine, minus the previous complaints, it was the bonus videos. All short, which is fine, but the one for Johnny Bravo was just the the opening theme, and that made me wish each show had that as an unlockable as well. That's the kind of thing people scour YouTube for, it's nice to have an official source for it. Ever hear the Ben 10 theme? If you have you'll know why I'd consider that a great unlockable.

On the opposite end, the unlockable costumes were fantastic. For some, it unlocked an outfit that character has worn in a certain episode. For example, HIM gets his exercise clothes, or Numbah 1 in a tuxedo.  For others, it lets you play as other characters. For example, each Powerpuff Girl has a costume that turns them into the Rowdyruff Boy equivalent. Or Captain Planet becoming Captain Pollution. Alternate costumes are usually fun, and this extra bit of care did not go unnoticed by me or the other fans.

It's funny how really, I only mentioned one major actual problem, a few minor grips, and many things I loved, but I still only thought the game was alright. If anything, this game needs a sequel so it can try again. Some games get it so right the second time, and this one needs a look back at. Like I said, vary up the stages so they can represent other franchises the characters didn't. Don't be afraid to give some love to the shows you are sure we don't care about, we'll appreciate the effort to attention.

And fix the balancing. If you do this right, you could finally be the ones to say "We beat Smash Bros. at their own game". Every company wants that, no one's done it just yet. We'll all be better off for it. Including Nintendo really, having a strong game to compete against can start the coals burning and the capitalism running through their veins.

So yeah. This game's okay. Would love a much better sequel. I think Cartoon Network has earned a stab at a great crossover game (and yes I did already mention LEGO Dimensions, which I like, I mean one that is just CN, versus everything under the sun like Dimensions pulls off surprisingly well), to show to the gaming world they have a great legacy that people would love to really dive deep into. After all, this game unlocks bios for everyone if you beat arcade mode and they put in information you wouldn't know off hand. They know their fan base, I do think they can deliver if they try again.

But it won't involve characters from Nickelodeon or Disney channel or Nintendo barring maybe an anime-only character, so stop guessing that TVTropes Wild Mass Guessing page!

6/10

Better than completely average, will play again with friends despite balancing issues.

Also, easy Platinum/1000 gamerscore, if you care.

Believe it or not I have better posts coming!

I've stated on this blog before that the idea of posting every Wednesday was mostly to keep myself writing every week. To keep me in a constant of work. I have also recently stated that I've gone back to working on regular projects for the future and my portfolio, and the blog would suffer from it.

No joke, earlier today I was washing the frying pan I had used to make my breakfast, and said to myself "Oh, it's Wednesday." nonchalantly. I still make sure to give you something, even short things like this or my commentary on recent events that thankfully are finally turning out in America's favor instead of the fascist's.

So, yeah, I back to either writing a good portion or reading. A little advice for upstarts and some hidden knowledge for those who don't write. It's also part of the job to read, whether for research or just because the book sounds interesting. Reading isn't a hobby for a writer, it's just a way to absorb more of the work and get better.

But, there are two posts I've wanted to do on here for a while now, and because of what I've been doing on here is minimal, I'm going to try my best to do those soon enough. Like, next week probably. What will they be?

One is a review of Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL, the PS3 version.

The other is a comparison of American McGee's Alice and Fran Bow.

There, at least you know what I would do, in case I fail to do them next week as well. Next week probably won't be the comparison though, I just got Alice: Madness Returns yesterday, never played it but always meant to. Have played Fran Bow though, and I was aware enough about Alice that I could draw the comparisons already.

Even if no one read this, I thank you.

I Hate, and Kinda Like, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim *Language NSFW*

So how do you enrage a bunch of people with your honest opinion? Actually, now that I think of it, it might be long enough in this game's lifetime that talking about my true feelings won't get me backlash anymore. When Skyrim first came out, people praised it like the second coming of Jesus Christ but with swords and dragon shouts. However, over the years people have found they can enjoy the game while still having criticism, which is a perfectly acceptable reaction you should always have by the way.

By this point, if I point out what I really don't like about this game, the fanboys will come out of nowhere just to pat me on the shoulder and say "Hey I feel ya buddy, game gets rough some times". Hell a bunch of them might even say "Yeah It's a Bethesda game, it's part of the reason we love them." and admittedly, I've come to have a fondness for the company in roughly the same aspect. That I can still heavily enjoy what they put out, even if it is riddled with so many problems. Especially bugs.

Alright, let's talk about Skyrim.

I bought Skyrim when it was relatively new. You see, the game came out when I was in college and only bought games on Steam. I liked Steam a lot back then as games tended to be cheaper, and I didn't need to bring a console into my dorm, my laptop worked just fine. Skyrim was either full price, or fifty bucks, and to me back then I had to wait for a sale. When it did go on sale that December, I bought the game and tried it out.

I'm not fucking joking, the very first time I started the game I got a game-breaking bug. I rode down with Ulfric, Ralof, and the other two, created my character, and was ready for the chopping block so Alduin could accidentally save me. HOWEVER, when the priest or whoever starting giving us our last rights, what is supposed to happen is that the non-important guy just tells her to shut the fuck up and walks over to the block first.

He walked to the block, but did not say his dialogue. The game did not know what the fuck to do because of that. We all just stayed there, doing nothing. It was like a high school play when someone forgets their line, and everybody is in that weird mix of professionalism where they think skipping a line means you have to wait for them to remember it instead of roughing it, because they all just waited for him to say his line, not letting the game happen.

I exited the game and this glitch just kept happening. I complained to Steam and they didn't have an answer for me at all. I don't know who was working the complaint desk that day, but if I remember correctly they acted like they didn't have time for my shit, and this was before the refund policy so I was completely boned. I was probably ruder than I needed to be, considering I was roughly 19, but hey, it was my hard-earned money and the thing fucking broke five minutes in.

HOWEVER, I deleted the game and re-downloaded it, and that thankfully fixed it. (I'm sure most of you thought my glitch was going to be the wagon doing a million cartwheels down the mountain. Don't worry, I got that glitch eventually too. It even murdered the horse a couple of times. It kept happening every time I launched it and I had to download the mod that lets you choose a new opening).

I encountered a lot of bugs in this game, and this was the PC version mind you, which had the least amount of bugs. I still had to carry quest items that I supposedly gave back after the quest, some quests never vanished off my list, and then there was the weirdest one, where every time I entered Breezehome, the game exited out. That one may have been because of mods, but hey, I honestly don't know anymore.

But it's not the bugs that got on my nerves in this game. Now, I'm going to get something off my chest first before I get into some other details. Some of my dislike is legitimately from personal preference, and I'm enough of an adult to admit that. I have some complaints that only apply to people like me, so they are nitpicks that don't ultimately matter all that much to you personally. However, bare with me, I've played this game a fucking lot so someone is going to hear about this. No matter how I felt about it, this was a game I bought in college, I had to make my investment matter. Don't believe me? Here's my Steam hours:

If you're wondering why it claims a 2016 time, I wanted to double check how well the game ran on my computer. It ran like a snail, even with graphics on low. My new laptop hates video games for some reason.

So now, here are my personal nitpicks that don't matter:

High fantasy doesn't sit with me that hard. I don't hate it, but it doesn't grab my interest. So, yeah, there's that.

Well now that that's out of the way, time to discuss some things that personally rubbed me the wrong way that I can see someone else having a big problem with:

Your character is just way too bare bones. I understand the appeal of filling in the gaps for yourself, since my original playthroughs I have played another Bethesda baby, Fallout 3. I expected little, but I loved it. The setting, the characters, the combat, the story, everything was great to me. What I especially loved was how much you knew about the character despite the fact they were a blank slate. They never actually spoke, but we literally saw them grow up. We knew facts about them.

The name of your father, the fact your mother died giving birth, you father's secret past and obsessions, the people from his past life, your childhood friend Amata, your childhood bully Butch. Sure, you can also disregard all of that because the game gives you free will to just murder almost all of those people and instead do what you want instead of tracking your missing father down. BUT, they are still facts given to you by the game, and anything you do is related to these things.

Hell, take DOOM from last year. Another Bethesda game, although this time it is mostly an Id Software game. Doom Guy also stayed silent the entire time, but had massive body language to tell you exactly how he felt. If you chose to read the optional lore, you learn a lot about the game's story and also about the story of Doom Guy himself. Whether or not you read it, you know a lot about this character who refuses to say a Goddamn thing the entire time. You can see he's pissed off, hates demons and especially the corrupt organization that allowed them access to Mars. If you do read the lore, you learn that he had past dealings with these things. The demons are not screaming just because they are demons and demons tend to scream, no, they are screaming because they personally know the Doom Marine and they are terrified of him.

I've played Skyrim dozens of times, have made at least five different characters, and I can't really tell you a single fucking thing about any of them. Let's see, one of them was a companion. The other one a thief and mage. Another a Stormcloak, assassin, and Dragonborn. And two who did everything. Those are not personality traits, they are just things they did. Sure, I can also say they were a Wood Elf, Imperial, Argonian, Dark Elf, and Orc respectively, but that's just their race. Race does not denote personality, in real life nor in fantasy video games.

Hell, most of them got married and I couldn't even tell you their sexuality, they all had such little personality for me to go on I just didn't give enough of a shit to decide if they went both ways or if they were only attracted to the sex they had married. I do get the appeal of building a personality for your character, and there are many games that allow you to do so, and they bother to give you a template.

I grew to feel bad for my evil playthrough Fallout 3 character, because I could feel like he was simply a lost young man who went off the deep end due to a harsh world and personal tragedy. I could connect to my good playthrough of the same game because of how many dialogue options let me be not only be an honest to goodness anti-hero, but let me choose dialogue that reflected her high intelligence but still let me make her situationally stupid if it sounded funny to me. My Digimon trainer in Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth came across as all-loving, brave, compassionate, and she only had a max of three dialogue options, sometimes all of them being roughly the same. Also lesbian because they didn't change up the flirting dialogue to be any different from the male's options and I honestly found that both very cute and very hilarious.

My five Skyrim characters? Nothing. If I wanted to make someone entirely from scratch, with no help at all, I would open up Microsoft Word and just write a book. I don't think I'm alone on this, blank slate characters are less popular now that gaming has gotten bigger, and if you are going to do them, just a few simple things to make them not entirely blank helps a lot for players to connect.

Okay, now for the main quest lines. God, I fucking hate the majority of the storylines in this game:

Companions? Blood-soaked glory hounds who need some humility.

Thieve's Guild? Fun for the most bit, but I wanted all of them to shut the fuck up after a while. No Delvin, you sit down and 'ave a drink!

Dark Brotherhood? It's more fun to kill them than it is to join them.

Mage's College? Snore fest filled with the dumbest characters in the game. Seriously, Ancano couldn't be more obviously evil if he tried, put a fucking leash on him and none of the world destroying bits of the plot would have happened.

Civil War? Could have been interesting with the gray versus gray morality they had going. However, Ulfric comes across as a racist dick and the empire is too flat for their own good, so I ended up not caring who won or not instead of feeling like neither side was perfect.

Main Story? Had it's moments, was too short for it's own good, and there wasn't a single person in the land of Skyrim with enough personality to make me care that Alduin was going to eat all of them unless I did something. Especially since you can just ignore the quest and somehow Alduin doesn't eat anybody at all.

You see, funny thing about the main story. If you ignore the main story and the civil war, you can play the whole game without having to fight a single dragon. Yeah, the thing they marketed to you as the big reason to play, you don't have to concern yourself with it. Hell, I did this a couple times, because I hated fighting dragons so much. Try it. Do every quest line aside from Main Story and Civil War, do everything you can with no dragons in sight. It's kind of great to know you can fast travel without going "Ah fuck a dragon's attacking. Gonna reload the last save, I'm tired of these fuckin' things".

Now, I'm going to do a quick plot synopsis of one of the faction quest lines, and you tell me which one it is. You start out talking to someone in charge of the organization. The group doesn't trust you, but that one person sees something in you and they take the risk despite everyone thinking it's a bad idea. You do a few ambient quests, and everyone starts trusting in you. Suddenly, tragedy strikes and someone is dead. You have to do more quests to fix things, and then the leader is killed as well. You defeat the final evil, and you are then crowned the new leader.

So which faction quest line is this? The correct answer is: fucking all of them. Now, the Thieve's Guild does offer some slight variation, hence why I found them the most fun. You kill the leader yourself because he betrayed you, you are the one who got killed (obviously you survive), and you still have to do many more quests before you are just crowned the leader. A few too many quests, but hey, it's something different.

When it does come to quests I liked: 

I liked the random ones you'd get just from walking around and exploring.

I really liked the DLC. I found it to be well crafted, added a lot of great content to the base game, and the storylines were a vast improvement and added some of the few characters I cared about.

And the Daedra. Holy shit. I used to hate the Daedra quests, but I love them now. I love how many of them give you free reign to do what you want in order to finish them. I love the rewards, the subtle change in reward depending on if you said "Yes lord Daedra I'll do this" or "No fuck you, you're evil". Sure, some don't offer the freedom, Molag Bol being the most notable example of this for me. Still, the rest make up for it.

Besides, again, I don't care about anybody in Skyrim. If you tend to be the kind of player who doesn't like being evil, you may want to wait a little bit and get to know something about each character first. Because everyone is Skyrim is kind of horrible. For such a flat-personality-infested world, Bethesda did go out of it's way to make unpleasant personalities shine through. Anyone you kill, you probably did someone a favor.

The next time I play this game, because let's face it, it's part of my previous life in college, I will almost subconsciously get the urge to play this game again. I can't shed this game no matter how hard I may want to.

Next time I play this game, no main story, no faction story lines. Just my favorite Daedra, and some miscellaneous quests. I never need to do anything else ever again. You see, if you're wondering why I'm talking about Skyrim in April of 2017, I bought the Xbox One version of Special Edition and just finally got every single achievement ever in the game.

Before you ask why I would buy this game a second time, I never bought the last DLC on the PC version. Always meant to, never did. So between that, the fact my laptop can't run this game very well, and that I'm a completionist and yet never got all of the achievements in this game before, yes, I re-bought Skyrim even though I don’t genuinely like it. Hey, I beat it. 141 hours for every achievement isn't bad, and remember that any mod use on console disables achievements, so I did this all legit. I did download some mods after I finished up, but I only played for like an hour after that. Likely less.

Also, mods on the PC version basically helped me keep playing during college. Who cares if the story is weird if Sheogorath is the one giving you the loading screen text? And the blood filters. Man the base game does not have enough blood. Even the vampire DLC, which added loads of blood, didn't have enough delicious blood for me. Vanilla Skyrim's blood is a joke once you start using the mod.

This is the picture the modder uses to show off their mod. Yes, this amount is MORE than the base game uses.

Speaking of that, this game is rated M, and it does not do enough to feel like it. This teeters on personal preference again, but how come there's barely any blood or swearing in an M rated game? Also practically no sexual content. I'm not saying we needed titties galore in Skyrim, but any sexual reference is basically hidden away or only slightly hinted at, instead of outright said, despite the fact it's a game marketed for adults and there's a fucking God the characters believe in who is supposed to represent sexuality for fuck's sake. You never even have sex with your spouse. You get a "Lover's Comfort" perk when you go to sleep and they're in the same area, but there's nothing to hint that you did anything other than fall asleep. It doesn't need the lovably cheeky remarks from your partner that later Bethesda game Fallout 4 had, but any hint that you partake in what married couples do in fact do would be nice.

One thing I can respectfully negatively compare is that in Fallout 3, you can hire a prostitute in the very first town. Nowhere else, but still. Yet Skyrim is a fantasy game that does not have this feature at all. Where are the fantasy wenches? We know this was a thing in the distant past (and yes also now but bare with me), and high fantasy loves using them. So yeah, why no wenches and whores? It does seem like a misstep, or at the very least very weird when you think about it compared to many, many other high fantasy settings, and especially when again there is an in-universe God of sex. Characters claim they have rituals and worships but there is only one character in the whole game who is openly stated to have sex as part of their rituals do the sex God. Oh, and that quest has you slut-shame her, which gives off a harsher vibe in a game where other sexual mentions are seemingly banned.

Back on the swearing, for a while I didn't realize the swearing lack was because this was a fantasy game. I just thought Bethesda didn't like using them. The worst you can hear is "This war. This Goddamn war." and that's it. I only realized that they were just being more like an ancient fantasy world after playing Fallout 3. The first time I played that and heard someone tell me to go fuck myself, I practically flipped over backwards in my chair from surprise. Bethesda had a potty mouth after all.

It's basically an M-rated game you can let your kid play. Which, yeah, that's not always a bad thing. It’s something I’ve always liked about the Halo franchise. It's just noticeably jarring in this game, and I can't be the only one to think so when there's a mod to make the blood more prevalent.

Before I forget to say it, yeah the animations are kind of weird. This is not an uncommon complaint, but you know what, I actually think the game looks graphically good. Which is not a common thing to hear. Lots of people who love this game think it looks kind of ugly or outdated, but I think it's perfectly fine. Some stuff you shouldn't get too close to it, other stuff looks Goddamn beautiful. Granted, that clapping animation is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. Other than that, didn't bother me, just thought I'd both say what everyone had said and what not everyone has said. :P

Now, there's one thing that I need to say. Something that bothered me, and I don't completely think is Bethesda's fault. When this game was new, someone told me it was a game where you could do anything. I don't remember who said that, but they fucking lied to me. You see, when you tell me that, than I will try to prove it wrong. And I did, unfortunately.

Bethesda really tried to make the game super smart, and they did do it. It's just that I outsmarted them, even though they didn't ask me to. Some marketing asshole did. Don't believe me?:

When Astrid captures you and tells you to kill a captive to be part of the Dark Brotherhood, you can just kill her instead, and then you start a quest to slaughter the rest of them. But you can't kill the Thieve's Guild. You can kill Maul (thank God because I fucking hate him), and the people who start selling shit when you get better, and a lot of the minor thieves like Sapphire and the ones I don't fucking remember the names of. But not any of the important ones, even if you don't join them. Why let me wipe out one evil guild, but not the other? I understand wanting to keep the possibility alive for players that change their mind, and also giving them an outlet to sell stolen goods without earning the perk, but again, there’s a perk for the latter and with the former that argument dies when you realize the Dark Brotherhood is fully killable if you reject them.

If you are using a torch, you can still block with it. I did a shield bash because I was using them a lot, and found out that shield bashing with a torch lights enemies on fire for a few seconds. I figured "Hey, I bet I can shield bash the oil on the floors with a torch and light them up." I tried that and it didn't work. It should, but it didn't. I should be glad that lighting them on fire worked, and I was, up until I tried the oil.

Oh, and related, TVTropes told me you can kill Erikur after you do two quests where he is essential. I did both quests and I still can't kill him. Thanks TVTropes.

I have other examples, but honestly, I don't care all that much anymore.

Honestly, somewhere in my newest playthrough, I kind of got it. Skyrim is a lot of things, and it's not a lot of things. There's one thing that is especially is, and once you know this, the game gets so much better.

It's fucking stupid.

You want to know what my newest character was? A female orc who worked with a shield, a bow, and a pickax. Because I stopped caring long before I bought the Xbox One Special Edition, I decided I would beat the entire game with a pickax. I enchanted it, but the enchantment was the moon one where you only get ten more attack points "when the moons are out", whatever that fucking means. It sounds like it means during the nighttime but I genuinely couldn’t tell a difference in damage.

When I just sat back, made a stupid character and let the stupidity of the game wash over me, I had a blast. This isn't a game you need to take seriously, this is a game to just have fun doing practically whatever you want. I get the marketing now, even if I was an asshole who tried and succeeded in proving it factually wrong.

Skyrim looks like an epic grade-scale game. Something that demands a hard-hitting story and impactful characters, something to hit you hard and make you never forget how important everything was. Well, the appearance is a little deceiving. The game is grand-scale, but it's just a wide-open sandbox meant for you to ignore anything you want to ignore and just spend hours doing either everything, or straight up nothing. You can spend hours smithing, and nothing but smithing. You can spend hours killing dragons, and just killing dragons. You can do the quests, but you may find you'll want a break to go do something more meaningless but fun, or a different quest line alongside the one you were doing, or just banging out quest after quest until it’s time for bed.

So yeah; for driving me crazy, for crashing, for flat-characters, for weird animations, repetitious faction story lines, a setting that doesn't grab me, for being too weak in it's M-rating, I do have a hate on for Skyrim.

But; for being a dumb fun time, where you start a weakling and end up someone who could punch out a Daedra, where you can beat Alduin with a fucking pickax in your hand (And yes, I struck the killing blow. Almost felt bad for him. To be the biggest badass in the world and a puny pickax is what ends you), for having much better DLC than the Vanilla game, for Sheogorath giving me helpful hints while the game loaded, for smithing being surprisingly fun and easy to understand (didn't mention it but yeah I fucking loved the smithing), and for being a game that I have put a combined total of over 600 hours over two versions. Yeah, I kinda like this game as well. But only just like, and only kinda.

By the way, this game is The Elder Scrolls V. I'm sorry for any big time Elder Scrolls fans who hears when people say "When are they going to make Skyrim 2?" instead of the very much correct "When is the next Elder Scrolls game?". Also for my money was on Elder Scrolls Online being Elder Scrolls VI but hey I turned out to be wrong and the next one is VI, when it stops being just a title card on E3 stages.

Maybe I'll even play it. Probably not, but you never know.

Screw it, here's some life advice in lieu of a regular post *Language NSFW*

I created this blog as an excuse to write every week, and believe it or not, I've gotten back on track with regular writing work as well. I'm not going to abandon this blog, but hey, maybe it's time I don't post every week since I had a few excess posts anyway. But until then, here's some life lessons that are relevant to early 2017:

1. Content creators should understand both love and criticism but you don't owe them anything:

I'm getting sick of "taken out of context" from Internet celebrities and other personalities who think that means a free pass for constructive and other meaningful criticism. I'm even more sick of fans who will defend them no matter what just because they liked the material they've made. These chucklefucks think they can say whatever they want because they're famous, when in reality not only are they very obscure to the majority of people, but fame and celebrity does not excuse horrible words and especially not actions. And look, my college years were full of Internet content creators who I admired, but the second I learned harsh truths about them I separated art from creator, knowing I could still like the product but know what a sack of scum the creator was. Any shithead who can show the brains to make something I like is still a shithead, they didn't earn the right for me to defend them, and that goes the same for anyone.

It especially baffles me for the Internet celebrity. For fuck's sake people, this is an industry that thrives on being topical and relevant. You do enough stupid shit like this and the world forgets you in two months. The people who are defending when they can't be defended, they're Internet content creators, you are defending someone who's already made sure you won't even remember them soon enough. And no, the journalists are not "targeting" them, they aren't "jealous of their success", they're doing their fucking job. And this is coming form someone who has openly criticized news media on this very blog. It was over before you tried to help them, and they never earned your help in the first place. Let them bury their careers and move on to something you might care even more about. Oh, and be careful if you try to cozy up to them because you defended them, they may just decide to be horrible to you anyway, and that's not the right way to learn this lesson.

2. Be very careful on the subject of counter-spies and other leakers

Leaks have become a huge thing, especially in the last few years. Lots of people trust them, be they about video game releases or politics. I choose not to believe any unless it's from someone who is not only refutable, but can pin-point exactly reasons why this might or night not be true (And I stay skeptical anyway), or when it's been proven true by that point anyway.

I didn't think Red Dead Redemption 2 would be named Red Dead Redemption 2 no matter how many people linked a source saying so. It read like gamers completely forgot about Red Dead Revolver, that the series was a franchise before the most well-known installment. Instead Rockstar is capitalizing on it's success and being a direct prequel, so I believe it now but I'll stand by my original reasons for disbelieve. Things like that.

When it comes to politics, oh my God, seriously just look at where the source is coming from. If you don't trust big government spying, then why are you not remotely suspicious of spy organizations that do the exact same thing and can be paid off? So you completely hate spies that answer to the safety and security of a government but you completely love am independent spy organization who is openly looking for blackmail? You know the group I'm talking about, and see how much people hate them now versus during the election. I dare you to see people completely flip when they could have known how trustworthy they were from the beginning, even former members spoke out against them.

People in real life are shady, yes, but this isn't a movie. Most scumbags let the world know who they are without having to probe their computer files. Again look at advice number one and double-check with me how open people are about how douchy they are. Especially from groups that will make up the results if it benefits the people paying them.

3. Popular people tend to just be attractive and sometimes don't actually contribute the things that jealous self-hating types think they do.

I used to hate myself. Big time. I was very jealous of the people who would always get people talking about them when they were in the room. I always admired how much they seemed to get people's attention without seemingly doing anything for it.

And that was it, they did fucking nothing. This is only relevant in high school and college, college moreso believe it or not. People get popular because people want to fuck them based on looks. People get popular because they can throw around some spare money (and they don't have to be rich either). Hell, people get popular sometimes because they like all the overly popular stuff that populistic society tells us to like so we just sometimes assume they must know how the world works or some fucking stupid thing like that.

Look, popular people are just as lonely and cowardly and pathetic as you think you are. They are normal people who just so happen to get more attention, and honestly they rarely ever fucking earned it. I remember taking a break from college, coming back and finding all the popular kids were gone, and everyone honestly seemed to get along better and work things out better.

I'm not going to say if I'm still friends with any of these popular people, because that's how smart people realize this thing called PR, internet creators should look into that word, but it turns out that so many times those popular types are shambling messes and might even be more creepy or stupid or dickish or useless than even a self-hating person thinks they are. Again, experience here.

4. Don't sign up for a job you'll hate but don't be afraid to do a job you won't love.

One of the reasons the United States has a problem with jobs is not really the fact that jobs plummeted years ago. For one, unemployment did get cut in half, so there's that. My father's always put it this way: "We have more jobs, but a lot of them are fast food and nobody wants to work at McDonald's."

He's not wrong. There's this weird pride in America, that you have to aim for the highest skies no matter who you are and nothing else should be even looked at. It's kind of bullshit. Follow your dreams of course, but shit, calm down with yourself and realize sometimes you just need to survive, especially if you have a family.

If you know you'll hate it due to prior experience dealing with that sort of thing, than by all means don't put yourself through that again. If you've never done it, well, I'll give an example:

My first job was walking around town in a dress shirt and tie, handing out flyers. Everyone who took this job for class credits (which I did at first until I applied for work study and could do it for actual money) never even picked up their flyers, they assumed it was awful. I did it each time, and had my fun with it. Enough so that my boss loved me since I not only actually did the job but I was professional and good at it, and when I moved on to my next position I even started at highest wage because of experience and good words from my former boss.

For handing out flyers, sometimes in the rain, in a tie.

Maybe Wendy's don't sound too bad now, huh? Maybe the Mexicans aren't stealing jobs, maybe that was just a lazy racist spreading rumors so he didn't sound like a lazy racist. Ya see what listening to those people got us? Are ya fuckin' happy?

5. Life ain't completely fair but you just got to make the best of it.

Everyone dies, you can't always succeed no matter how hard you try, some people get away with anything.

That all sucks, but don't give up. Cynics, I've discovered, are not people who've seen the light and believe fate can't be fought. They're people who read the above and decided it was a good reason to never get off their ass.

Optimists have their flaws, as in not understanding the above at all, but their views on outcomes can help you understand the philosophy of realists, such as myself.

Life is what you make it, you will succeed eventually or at least go down swinging, and not everyone evades karma forever.

That last bit is looking to be relevant from what I'm seeing. :)

Goodnight everyone. Love thyself and try to be as good as you can.

Logan; And Why The R-Rating Is Important

When I walked in to see the latest X-Men movie Logan, I was expected a really good movie based on the high praise it had gotten from critics. There are times when even very high hopes can turn into underestimation, and that is what happened with this film.

I am not the biggest fan of the X-Men film franchise, as in I have only seen the first three of them. However, I was very excited for Logan due to my experience, and the promise the R-rating was going to give me. With this rating, it meant I could finally see The Wolverine actually stick his adamantium claws in and through his enemies. The film delivered this, more times than expected.

It also gave me everything else an R-rating can, and I feel the need to praise it for that.

Film ratings are an interesting subject for me. This may seem like an odd point in today's film climate, where every movie released seems to either be PG or PG-13. There was a time, not that long ago mind you, where all four of the various ratings tended to be just as common as the either. Now yes, I'm aware of the NC-17 rating, however, the popularity of that rating died out long ago, and practically does not exist anymore, even outside of the mainstream side of the industry. There is also a rating for children even younger than the G rating suggests, but forgive me, that is so rare I do not know the name of this rating off-hand.

The R-rating, in fact, is my favorite of the ratings. I do not discredit the other ratings, there are many PG films I adore and I can even say the same for many G-rated films. My most loved PG-13 films are admittedly mostly from the time when PG-13 was earned instead of slapped on, but I am hopeful that that day will return soon enough, and even still, I have no ill-will for the rating, only the fact it is misused for higher box office results.

What I love about the R-rating is just how adult it allows movies to be. A movie like Logan is rated R for violence alone, and it deserves it, the violence is more brutal than I expected. I've always had a respect for a film that can make you flinch from how little it holds back, and Logan is now the only superhero movie to cause me to flinch. I think my argument has had some back-up from this film's critical success. It's not uncommon for people to think the violent sections of a movie to go too far, and this movie went further than I and I'm sure many other people expected, and it is loved already.

I'm also going to say, that if this film was not as violent as it was, there would be a problem.

This film doesn't just hold back the violence. It also does not hold back in it's themes. I can sum the entire film up like this: This is a movie about being old and living with the kind of person you've been. This movie took one of the most popular superheroes in film and comics, and asked the question "Wouldn't he hate how his life turned out by the time he's physically sixty?" This film doesn't stop at asking, it answers it and does not hold back in the brutality of the answer.

Because it is so brutal, so honest and downright nihilistic about it's theme and subjects, if the violence wasn't so brutal, I can guarantee you the critics would have complained. Imagine this statement coming from a film critic and see if you can believe it's existence: "For a film that refuses to hold back in portraying wasted potential and lifetime, Logan seems to be too afraid of scaring off potential viewers by being too violent." Or "This is still a movie about The Wolverine, I find it odd that by going 'adult', it still feels as action packed as it's predecessors".

You don't always have to be very violent just because you are R-rated, but Logan marries everything you might associate with a movie made for mature audiences. If we hold our cards right, I would not be surprised if this movie is the final straw to bringing back the R-rating for mainstream films.

Now, I say final straw because I have another recent film I think helps reminds us why it's a shame the rating was practically faded out. Believe it or not, it's Sausage Party.

Seth Rogan's vulgar animated movie from 2016 was both a parody of Pixar movies like Toy Story, and a surprisingly well-written satire of religion. I won't lie, when I saw the trailer for the movie, I thought it looked like garbage.

However, I am also an animation buff. The R-rating vanished from animation much faster than it did live-action, and so when this movie came into existence, I knew I had to at least go out and buy it, even if I didn't find the time to watch it in theaters.

I was shocked when the movie got great reviews. Critics loved it, audiences were fine with it. Most reviews I watched or read tended to like it better if they were unfamiliar with adult animated movies. I ended up figuring this would be a movie I would end up liking after all, but not that much considering my library of Ralph Bakshi films.

I bought the movie on Blu-ray, and I loved it.

While I do understand those who criticized the movie for being childishly vulgar (Although I'm a vulgar person in real life and usually can tell when vulgarity is just there too be "funny", and I didn't notice forced vulgarity that much other than one line in the beginning), I think this movie really helps show off how much the visual medium of animation can work with the R-rating.

As I said, this movie is a parody of Pixar movies. Children do see those movies, but, the way this movie does it's parody would quite possibly go over children's heads. However, an adult who has either grown up with Pixar or has watched them due to being a parent and watched them with their child, will understand exactly what they are doing, and will find the jokes and slight references to be funny.

I also said it is a clever satire of religion. Children understand religion, but not as much as an adult. This film treats the subject more maturely than most other films I've seen do so. It is just as mean to extremists thoughts as most, but, it does not pick-and-choose which extremism to target, it targets all. I loved the movie for that. I've always hated when religious satire clearly makes sure to pet and groom whatever religion the creators clearly believe in. This one makes it clear that the creator's probably swing one way, and make sure to be blunt and say it may or may not be right or wrong and any opinion really is valid as long as you don't use it as an excuse to be horrible. It's lesson we don't hear as much as we need to, and the movie manages to say it while also being funny.

You can't do that with PG-13. I have seen G and PG-rated films that dealt with mature themes very well. That did not pull punches. The same is true for the PG-13 I just made fun of. However, you can only pull so many punches before the ratings standards have to stop you. It's good that they do, in all honesty, as each rating should try to be what they are instead of trying so hard to be something else that they become confused.

In fact, that is my real point. We need more R-rated movies, because they are incredibly adult, and mature art helps us answer our looming questions and brace life for what it is. This can be done with other films, but a great R-rated movie does this better than any other film could hope to achieve. Maybe Logan and Sausage Party will help this happen. While Deadpool came out before the both of these films, and was also highly successful, I chose the two films we expected even less than a Deadpool movie.

When Hollywood said "Okay, we'll make more R-rated superhero movies", no one expected one so fast, nor the Wolverine movie they'd been clamoring for since the original X-men. Seth Rogan's tweet that revealed the original trailer was a shock to his fans almost as much as the rest of the world. Not even I was expecting the first R-rated CGI film to exist as soon as 2016 (Not counting South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, I'm aware CGI was heavily used in that movie).

There is nothing like an R-rated movie that knows it is such every second. Animated, live-action, superhero, comedy, horror, action, there are many ways to do every genre and style while being as adult as you can. Many of the most meaningful movie experiences I've have was with the R-rating, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

We don't need to erase the others for the sake of one rating dominating, we've seen how unpopular that movie can end up. I just want a more equal amount of every rating again, and I am personally most looking forward to the movies you have to be over seventeen to see.

Is Nostalgia Dangerous?

I've covered a topic quite similar to this many weeks go, under the title of "Why Must Our Artistic Tastes Change?". I'm going to continue on that sort of subject as I think it is important, one that many of us do not talk about, but does happen to every single one of us. True, it may not be as important as the subjects of morality or decent behavior, but if it's an important topic than it is worth talking about nonetheless, and if we start sweeping any of them under the rug than we run the risk of sweeping all of them under the rug.

The idea for this title and general post came about only an hour or so from it's first draft. I was watching Jim Sterling's Jimquisition on the backlash and critical reception for the video game Mighty No. 9, a game that when you really boil it down, was crowd-funded successfully in the first place because of fans nostalgia.

Jim goes into many other notable aspects of the specific game, so if you have not watched it I would recommend doing so after you read this post.

Video made by: Jim Sterling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR5TP129_pI

I heard many people argue that the biggest drawing point was that Megaman had not been given a new installment in so long that Capcom most likely abandoned the franchise, and fans were desperate for more. I sort of agree, however, knowing what people can be like, I personally feel that the Kickstarter would have been funded even if Megaman was still ongoing. It had the man everyone believed created the franchise, and when you have nostalgia for something, you can tend to jump on board without asking enough questions, or any questions at all.

I never played Mighty No. 9 and thus my only opinions stem from watching other people play it, which is also my history with Megaman. See where I'm going with this? No nostalgia for Megaman meant I had no interest in playing Mighty No. 9, and honestly, that should have been a warning sign. A good game is a good game no matter what you had to invest in the first place, personal nostalgias and investments should only be a non-required plus instead of mandatory. If I needed to love Megaman to even care about Mighty No. 9, than just how much did the game have to offer? Based on gameplay videos and let's plays, I honestly kind of hate what I've seen of Mighty No. 9, because even there I can see what is so wrong and underutilized with it. I've also seen a few things about Megaman, and my opinion always was "I doubt I would like it but I can see the appeal."

Megaman got lucky in it's nostalgia factor while Mighty No. 9 did not. From what my unbiased and admittedly hands-off feelings can muster, Megaman was good for many reason, but one of them was because of when it came out. Games have advanced so much since then, it is no longer impressive, but because it does feel like the old game that it is, the enjoyment factor is still there because it at least feels like a product of it's time. When something is revolutionary, it tends to still work while the thousands of copies instead feel stale. When Mighty No. 9 comes around and says "We can do that same thing today!" and does not feel like it learned any lessons from the past decades of gaming, you have a game that doesn't work right and the nostalgia glasses can easily shatter.

Being inspired is different from simply banking on nostalgia, and sadly, there are people and companies that completely do that latter and know it every second. I'll give Mighty No. 9 the benefit of the doubt and say that I do believe the game faulted because the developers did not know what they were doing, they were not malicious in their doing. Honestly, the developers own nostalgia is most likely something that helped blind them in the process. As someone who isn't a Megaman fan, I can easily say that the franchise has it's place in gaming history but it is now outdated and needs improvements to be relevant and comparable while still being what it is at heart. Take for example 2016's DOOM, which was beloved for doing just that. Growing up with this game, or becoming a big name because of this game, and it can be very hard to not see that, and instead see the potential for an unofficial spin-off to do exactly the same today and be just as good.

Sometimes, however, nostalgia dumps are malicious, hence my concern for the subject. They do this because quite frankly, it keeps working. Companies are not stupid, marketing research is done because it works so damn well, even when we catch on. We say won't watch that crappy TV show we got a promo for, but we do. We say we've heard the same lies from  politicians before, but he it's an actor from a reality show this time so maybe it's the pro-racist stuff that's the lie instead. Nostalgia can work that way as well, because we used to be the kind of person who liked that thing, and many times we just jump in blindfolded because of it.

I brought this up before in the "artistic taste" post, but think back to your childhood. Think of a movie you watched all the time, that you absolutely loved. Ask yourself if you've seen it since then. Ask yourself, truthfully, if you do like this movie now. The reality is, you have just as much a chance of liking it as you do anything else.

I'm not joking when I say I did my best to throw away my nostalgia goggles a long time ago. I don't like having opinions on something purely based on what I thought of it as a child, or even a teenager, or even my first few years in college. I only graduated college little more than a year ago, and there I things I loved then that I hate now. Ir has nothing to do with the fact I used to love it, it's just that I first saw it at a time when it appealed to me, and I now have the opinion I would naturally have if I discovered it only recently.

I can picture arguments for nostalgia goggles, and that would be franchises or fan specials, that sort of thing. There's a different word I'd use for that, and I used it earlier: Investment.

Here's an example: Digimon Adventure Tri. I did grow up on Digimon, however, as a child I really only liked Frontier. In high school I decided to watch the first four seasons again, and I really liked it. I'm older now, and I have watched those four seasons in both English and Japanese, I have played Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth, and I have seen what is currently available in America of Digimon Adventure Tri. I am a huge fan of this franchise, and it's not because of nostalgia, I just straight up love it (although there's a reason I put an image for Adventure 02 in the logo picture, my opinions on that season did grow more sour after the re-watch). I've invested a lot of my time in it, and yes, since I was a child. I don't count that as nostalgia, in fact, I kind of can't in some regard, instead I just count myself lucky that a franchise that matters so much to me was able to show itself so early on in my life.

Bonus fact, my favorite movie and my favorite TV show were also things I watched when I was a kid. I loved them then, but not as much as I do now, because my age and wisdom has changed my opinion. I don't go "I grew up with these, so I love them." I go "I love these and I also happened to watch them when I was young."

Now, just to clean my palette, I'll admit a hypocrisy. I'm only human after all.

One of my favorite Disney movies is Fun and Fancy Free. Only because I grew up with it. My honest, brutal, and unbiased opinion on the movie? The first half sucks but at least it picks up after Jiminy Cricket goes to that little girl's birthday party and Edgar Bergen shows up. I still kind of love it, because my younger self enjoyed it so much. I own it on Blu-ray, and the only way to get it on Blu-ray was to spend the extra money to get it as a bonus with The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, which in theory is a much better movie that I've watched far less often than Fun and Fancy Free.

Also, every year, I watch Spot's Magical Christmas. That special isn't bad, I can objectively say it's legitimately good and has entertainment value even for older audiences. It's just that I'm way to old to enjoy it all that much, but it was a staple of my childhood (until I lost the VHS for a good chunk of time).

The reality of the situation is, there is really nothing wrong with understanding what you liked when you were a child, and how much enjoyment you got out of you younger years because of these things. The problem is letting those exact feelings betray you. I may be able to watch Fun and Fancy Free but if I thought it was unwatchable, I wouldn't hate the time I'd spent with it. I just wouldn't like the movie, and I'd move on that knowing it isn't anyone's fault.

I'm also very much immune to the opposite and far more damaging side effect, believing I still love it and everything about it. I see way too many people jump on board for anything tied into something they used to like. Be it the new Power Rangers movie coming out soon just because they grew up watching the show even though they had a completely different tone than the movie is promising, or the constant TV show reboots we get that sort of are reboots to older shows we liked before. Sometimes it's hard to sit back and think logically about something with a tie to your childhood. Of course I'm not saying you'll hate these, I'm just asking you weight it in your hands the same way you would something not tied to your childhood. Being objective is a good way to look at media, and it also means that if it ends up sucking after all, at least it'll hurt less because you didn't blind yourself beforehand.

And of course, try to stay objective to things you used to like as well. I spent a lot of time from senior year of high and my third year of college watching Nostalgia Critic (And yes I did pick that example for the obvious tie-inable reasons to the theme), and I don't regret doing that, even though the me of today wouldn't be able to watch those same episodes without sinking into my chair and sighing.

Again, only my opinion. It's just media, keep that in mind. My only real advice is to stay objective, that your nostalgia for franchises you love may actually just be a level of investment, and if you are younger and reading this, just try to understand now that you may or may not love everything latter in life as much as you did now (when it comes to media) but don't let that beat you up, because it was still your time and you should feel happy you got enjoyment value out of it. Somethings you might even love more.

Hell, whenever I disagree with someone on a movie or book or what have you, with their opinion being they liked or loved it and my opinion being I disliked or hated it, my only thought it that I'm glad they enjoy it. It's good to enjoy something and I wish I did too, but it just didn't work out that way. It's also okay to not like something, the only real negative is that it's too bad because enjoying things is fun, but you can't win them all.

At the end of the day, just try to be a little careful with how much you let nostalgia into your opinions on media. You don't have to throw the nostalgia goggles away like I did, I'm just pointing out than when you believe you loved something unconditionally and you are proven wrong, without the right bracing for it it can feel like a betrayal.

So, yeah. As silly as this may sound to some of you, without the right mindset, nostalgia can in fact be dangerous.

Classic Literature Review: A Clockwork Orange

            Before I start this review, there are a few things that need to be discussed first. For the majority of you, this will not be a surprise what I am about to say, but for those who do not know, Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange is a controversial novella in the subject matter it uses to convey it’s overall message. I will still be discussing these controversial aspects and will not censor them, so those who are uncomfortable hearing about brutalities may wish to read something else instead. The second part is that, in my personal opinion, to review this book I do have to spoil several sections of it. Most importantly, the ending and the aspects revolving around it. The ending is fairly common knowledge for some people, I knew the ending before I read the book myself without feeling letdown by a massive spoiler. However, if you wish to read this book without the prior knowledge, please pause reading now and resume at a later time when you’ve read it.

            Now on to the review itself.

            A Clockwork Orange is a first-person narrative about teenage criminal Alex. I do not use the term criminal lightly, and far harsher words would be more appropriate. While it is not a stated rule, a good deal of fiction features a hero as the protagonist. Whether or not there is a proper antagonist, the protagonist is almost always the hero. Sometimes the protagonist is allowed to be the villain, and Alex may very well be the darkest and most vicious version of this kind of protagonist. Alex is a rapist, a murderer, one section even broadly shows the reader he is a pedophile. His reason for doing all of what he does is, compared to the general rule of fictional villains, is absolutely nothing. Alex runs on something that exists in real life but is not always shown as graphically as it is here.

             Alex is having fun, and nothing else. He enjoys breaking people’s property. He enjoys drinking milk spiked with drugs. He enjoys gang-raping a woman to death in front of her husband, whom he also beat mercilessly. Alex is devoid of sympathy, his existence spits in the face of altruism and kindness, and he is seemingly aware of this fact as he’s loving every minute of it.

            Villain protagonists are not nearly as rare if you personally seek them out. I understand why you might, and my experience is from my own writing. While I can’t exactly back up the claim at this point in time due to my status as amateur, I tend to write a lot of villain or anti-hero protagonists. Recently, I’ve been interested in going towards more traditional heroes. Because even bucking the system can be old hat, and make you want something fresh. So in a sea of mostly heroic novel or novella characters, Alex become one of the most fascinating characters I’ve ever read.

            It’s funny, because you’ll never ever like him. He’s disgusting, foul, arrogant, cruel, immature, and uncontrollable. So instead of liking him, you are fascinated by him. You don’t care if he lives, and wouldn’t be unset if he dies, except maybe if you felt he deserved fare worse than whatever fate he’d gotten. For as complex and as three-dimensional as Mr. Burgess made him, there is only one word to describe him: Evil. He is nothing but evil made flesh. He has never done anything besides evil, and never will. You can’t take your attention off of him for it.

            Alex is eventually caught during one of his crimes, abandoned by his gang in the process, and sent to prison. In prison, the government handpicks him for their new project; the Ludovico Treatment. Alex is forced into a chair, eyes held open, and watches horrific acts of violence whilst listening to Beethoven and other classic music, two things Alex loves more than anything. These constant viewings trick Alex’s brain into disgusting him whenever thoughts of violence or the sound of classic music occur to him. Every time, he goes to vomit, but is somehow incapable of actually doing it, meaning the feeling is also a writhing pain. Thanks to whom he is, you don’t exactly feel bad about his state, but are now interested in seeing how this will change him. He’s effectively been brainwashed into being a model citizen.

            The novella’s main theme is that this is wrong. Even the most disgustingly evil people must still be allowed to be human beings. That brainwashing is itself horrific and no better than the criminals it could be used on. Moreover, it also does not work.

            Alex is not a changed person in the slightest, he is just restrained. I hate to spoil more of the book, however, I need to discuss one section as quick as I can. Alex’s parents have kicked him out after his arrest, which he only learns after returning home to find their new roommate. After his parents painfully explain the reasons to him, showing they still love him despite finally realizing who he is and fearing him, Alex’s first reaction is to attack the roommate. He is unable to falls ill. So instead, he cries his eyes out in front of them. His reasoning is that he feels betrayed by these people who love him, and he leaves making everyone feel somber.

            Except Alex himself. His emotional state was a lie, he simply wanted to make them feel horrible. Even under torture and mind control, Alex finds a way to be a monster. It’s poignant, it’s helps with the overall theme, and continues your hate-interest in the character.

            I’ve talked a lot about Alex, that’s because this is a first-person narrative story. We as reader’s are not allowed to learn anything about the universe of this story outside of its effect on the protagonist.  All the reader has to go on is what Alex himself tells them, be it the situations, the scenery, or the other characters. It is all about him, as it is purely his take on every single aspect of the story. Not only that, but all of these descriptions are written in Nadsat.

            Nadsat is the fictional slang created for the novella that Alex and his gang speak in. Or, in his words, he and his droogs speak in. The language was based on Russian, so Russian speakers may figure out the meanings faster, but as someone who doesn’t speak the language, it took me not all that long to figure it out either. Admittedly, the first time I opened the book, the presence of Nadsat confused me enough to put it away and come back to it sometime later. If you open it and think you’ll be confused, the words will make enough sense after some repetition, and some versions have a dictionary in them, although mine did not.

            And now, for the ending. The ending was originally censored in the American release. Alex is freed from his brainwashing, the government pays him off so he doesn’t blab that it was a failure, and he goes back to becoming the monster he always was. However, in the original version, which my version keeps intact, the story continues on for one more chapter. In this final chapter, it is years later. Alex has a new gang with new teenagers despite being an adult, but something is different. He’s now becoming bored with his typical brand of merriment. He shoes them away and meets up with former droog Pete, and they reminisce about old times and the other droogs George and Dim, who died young and became a corrupt police officer respectively.

            Pete is now married. This sparks in Alex what he wants to now do. Be married himself, have a son, and ponder if said son will be as vicious as he was.

            Several people are of the opinion the edited version is better. The debate is on Alex being redeemed, and the possible implication that he was only evil because that is part of being a teenager. Opinion are opinions, and I respectfully disagree. I prefer the original.

           For my money, Alex is not redeemed in this ending, he is simply bored. Redeemed would mean he felt regret, that he would make up for past transactions, and the story makes it clear he does not and will not in the slightest. The only thing that has changed about him is his motivation and general interests. There is nothing, in fact, stating he may get bored of this new lifestyle as well.

            As for the implication of aging, I feel that may be a stretch, especially in a novella that is blatant in its messages and all the better for it. Remember, Dim was a teenager too, and the least intimidating or evil, yet he grew up to continue being horrific in his own right. In fact, the novella seems to argue Dim became a worse person as he got older. Alex did get older, but that may or may not have anything to do with his new passions, and those new passions do contain a connect to his old ones as he is not worried if his child will be a monster, only interested in finding out. Pete was never given enough time outside of Alex’s vision for us to see if he grew, learned a lesson, always hated the gang, or anything of the sort. Pete is flat, but that works considering that was all he was meant to be, a character we forget about until he makes the most important part of the ending happen.

            I know at the start I gave a warning about the content, meaning I know full well it makes the book not for everyone. Yet, with that in mind, I feel that this piece of classic literature is a must-read. There exists nothing else like this, and it has stood the test of time. If you have not read it, perhaps you will want to consider what I said about the endings and choose a copy based on that, or a copy with the Nadsat dictionary included if you so wish. This book is a masterpiece, and if you are too squeamish for it, at the very least try to read a few of the tamer scenes or find a more in-depth recap than I gave. This book is worth knowing and understanding.

Video game review: Agatha Christie The ABC Murders

Game played on: PlayStation 4

Also available on: Xbox One, PC

I'm a fan of point-and-click adventure games. I have been ever since I was a child. I may know little to nothing about the exploits of famous fictional character Hercule Poirot, nor do I have any knowledge on author Agatha Christie, but I was aware of what to expect with this kind of game given my history of the genre.

I have played all of Telltale's Sam & Max games, several of Her Interactive's Nancy Drew games, and the beginning section of Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments. Modern point-and-click adventure games have similar feeling gameplay mechanics while all being their own beast, and for some reason, lately a lot of them are based on famous book detectives.

So how does Poirot stack up against Drew and Holmes? I do think this is the best way to analysis this game, as I'm positive the latter are the very reason The ABC Murders was adapted in this fashion in the first place.

I do have to say, the developers really are aware of what worked for those kind of games, but also tried to do their own thing with it. On occasion all this really means is combining two older mechanics together to breathe new life into both of them, and when done right there is nothing wrong with this.

Poirot, like any point-and-click protagonist, has to collect items and clues that the player finds around the levels. Just like Holmes and Drew's games, he also has to talk with the suspects and interpret what he learned from them. After gaining several clues, Poirot will use this "little grey cells" to come to some kind of conclusion.

You can't fail these, as per usual with modern point-and-clicks.

However, modern point-and-clicks also have a bit more variation. When Nancy Drew asks a question, she is allowed to ask almost all of the given possible choices, but certain ones will end the conversation or erase other options. Nancy doesn't learn anything she can write down in these cases, but the possible thing to learn can help the player come to the conclusion early.

This game borrows more from the Sherlock games. Poirot has the ability to glance at almost everyone he is going to talk to, and it ends up letting him know how they must be feeling or their basic personality. He can do the same for scenery as well.

The problem is that for Sherlock, this mechanic is very important as Sherlock can find a small bit of information that turns out to not be so trivial after all. For Poirot, nothing really comes of it other than the basic guesses. The few times it's slightly more important, you are forced to do it before you talk. I do like the mechanic, but after a while, I realized it was always the same no matter the circumstance. What became frustrating was that often the cursor did not help you figure out what you were supposed to look at. The controller vibrates to let you know you're getting closer, and you zoom in as well, but many times I would get these prompts but could not find the exact spot, and after I did, I would swear I already looked in said location. This happened enough that I do think it's a calibration problem with the game, and that's unfortunate.

The game is graphically beautiful. This is a Unity built game, and I'm glad it is, because Unity has been so badly used for years that any beautiful Unity game restores my faith in the system. The caveat here is that the graphic ends up becoming the best thing in the game, although bare in mind this does not mean the game is bad, it only means that graphics end up outshining virtually everything else the game has to offer.

The characterization is on-point, and the voice acting is fine, but you will hear the same voice way too many times for different characters.

There's also a massive glitch that will only effect completionists. Should you try and do every observation, but miss one or two, you will have to start the game over again from the beginning to get them. If you use the same save file, the game can no longer remember any observation you do. Even if you do every single one in one go, if it's on an old save file, it will not count. This goes for Steam achievements, PlayStation trophies, Xbox Achievements, and the in-game achievement system as well. It's a major gripe, but of course, only if you are the kind of person who tries for every trophy/achievement. Which would count myself, and yes, I did face this glitch.

Speaking of, there is a lack of chapter select. Some point-and-click games have them, and some do not. This is the kind of game that needed them, but didn't get them. The entirety of this game feels paced out like a Telltale game, where it's one game but you can divide it into sections. With Telltale, you can pick whichever episode you want to play (as long as they have all been released by that point), but not here. With the Nancy Drew games, they are short and self-contained enough that the need for a chapter select is moot, so it can get away with not having them. This game cannot, it is just long enough that the chapter select is needed for multiple playthroughs, and unlike Telltale or Sherlock games, there are no major choices that alter the game, so being forced to play the game from beginning to end every time seems odd.

Like any adaptation, this game did spark my interest in finally reading the original Hercule Poirot stories. Despite my complaints about this game, I found elements I'm sure I would like, and I am positive a lot of the charm comes from a development team that cherishes these books.

I am positive this game is planned to be the first of other Agatha Christie/Hercule Poirot game adaptations. If I am right, I hope the developers see the potential that they offered, but also play a lot more of the Nancy Drew, Sherlock Holmes, and even Telltale games, so they can get a firmer grip on what works in this genre and what doesn't.

This was a first attempt, and while enjoyable, it felt like it. I'm sure future installments will be great, but this was throughly average.

5/10

Video game review: Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance HD

Game played on: PlayStation 4

Is a remaster of a game originally on 3DS

I've been playing games in the Kingdom Hearts franchise since the original title. While the original is still one of my favorite games, my opinions of the overall series highly differ between what I am playing. Some I highly enjoy for their gameplay or story, and some I can barely wrap my head around and end up cursing the bizarrely implemented controls. Remember when Kingdom Hearts II decided we needed the ability to skateboard? I mostly remember that it never came back as a mechanic.

With a series as complex, convoluted, and contended as this one, allow me to be a little bit more relaxed in this review than I normally would. Now, the truth of the matter is that I did not play the 3DS version of this game. I'm fully aware that all games in the franchise have important plot points, that skipping out on one game can leave you completely in the dust. I learned this lesson when I originally skipped over Chain of Memories, which led to complete confusion during Kingdom Hearts II up until I played the remake on PlayStation 2. But before I finally played Dream Drop Distance, I did make sure I was up to speed, with some minor exceptions due to my increasing frustration in certain boss fights of games I had beaten once before anyway.

Also, to be frank, I knew several of the story's spoilers before I went in. I don't tend to care about spoilers, at all, so I learned everything about this game's story just by random searching about the franchise's plot. Anyone who has played only a couple or even all of these game will admit that isn't a horrible idea. The series does make sense once you ingest everything, but even then, there's nothing wrong with a guide by this point.

Due to the spoilers, I didn't think I'd like this game.

I was wrong. I really loved playing this game.

The first thing to catch my attention was the combat. I was not a fan of the command deck from Birth By Sleep, and it returned here, but this time it felt much more straight-forward and easier to figure out. It still had it's glaring problems, but I didn't hate it this time around, and it was much easier to decide which attacks I should keep stocked now that I did not have to level them up along with my character.

The real star of the combat show was the flowmotion. Flowmotion involves Sora or Riku dashing against a wall, streetlamp, or other surface. Suddenly the character glows, and you are given a possible attack where you get to spin around, hit very hard, and cannot be hit from what I could tell. The franchise had been getting more and more unfair boss fights as of late, and this equally unfair style of attacking has made it so we are back to being on equal playing grounds instead of just hoping you might win.

Flowmotion also allows you to jump again in the air, then dash again, and continue until you reach the top of the wall you dashed against. Similar to Saints Row 4, it is very cathartic to know that any item you want is now easy to get, even if it's on the top of a tall building.

There are certain commands that can allow you to interact to certain objects and weakened enemies, and they are different depending on the world. Take for example the image below, where the command lets you encase an item or enemy in a large bubble, and you can use said bubble to trap further enemies in until it pops, a lot of the time instantly killing anything inside.

Your companions are now little battle monster style creatures you create with the synthesis method, which meant they gave a purpose to synthesis that I finally liked and did not feel nearly as tedious.

It's also surprisingly fun to play with them. And the original game came out before Pokemon X and Y, so it did Pokemon Amie before Pokemon did.

The graphics and the framerate are also quite nice. True, nothing is particularly beautiful, especially for PlayStation 4, but even without playing the original game I can tell this port looks far better. All the vibrant colors the series loves to employ are still here, and they still look very good, even if they are not beautiful this time around.

Now, the story. For many players, the story this time went too far. There were a couple of explanations that didn't make sense and did not fit with the previous games. The overarching villain became so overpowered and seemingly flawless that players are calling him badly written. I kind of agree.

Behold the awesome power of balloons.

But I also kind of really like that.

The original Kingdom Hearts is, again, one of my favorite games. One of the reasons is because of how much silly stuff is in there, even stuff that wasn't supposed to be. I'm a little more than done with the harp strings and the single game plots that branch off fifteen different ways. The plot is getting stupid, so to me, by all means let it get stupid. I enjoyed this story so much. The moments I thought were moving, did move me. The moments I thought didn't, made me laugh or otherwise enjoy myself. It had been a while since a Kingdom Hearts game had a good mix of fun game play and fun story telling, and this one did it for me.

Fans are gonna hate me for this.

8/10.

Whatever Happened to Xbox One App Achievements?!

Think back to the original reveal of the Xbox One. Many of you will remember some of the more negative aspects of that E3 presentation, and many of those promised features ended up being cut or rethought due to backlash. But there was one thing I remember about that day that I still thought was a good promise.

Microsoft promised to make achievements even better. I loved achievements then and now, so I was excited to see what that promise meant. As we know now, you can dissolve that promise into two easy categories. One was that all Xbox One games would have a base gamerscore of 1000, there would be no 200 gamerscore games just because they were arcade-only or the like. As of right now, the only way to have an Xbox One game with 200 gamerscore is if you're playing a backwards compatible Xbox 360 title.

The second was that apps would now have achievements as well.

And I really loved that idea.

After I finally bought my Xbox One in the later end of 2014, I found that the thing was a well-rounded home entertainment system. I don't mean like the Nintendo Entertainment System, I'm not so old timer or huge Nintendo fan who thinks "Entertainment System" is synonymous with "Video Game Console", I mean the things you usually call an entertainment system. Playing DVDs, streaming videos, and playing games all-in-one; and the focus was on making that feel more fluid and connected than ever before. It's funny how I was complaining about Microsoft talking about sports and video so much at that now infamous E3 conference, because now I see they were just trying to tell gamers that this time they wanted to focus on everything it did instead of just making it a games console that happens to play movies.

They also decided to have you earn achievements for doing so, and to me, this added an incentive to do so. Apps are free, the only payments are if the app is for a service you are paying for such as Netflix, so you could simply earn more achievements in things you probably would have downloaded anyway just to see what they were like or if you wanted the most out of the service you would be paying for even if you didn't download the free app. One of my favorite things was going on my Xbox account and looking at my App Achievements alongside my regular ones.

Sure, they offered no gamerscore, but they made me feel like I was actually doing something besides watching a YouTube video. Some of the Achievements were even in-depth, such as watching a combined total of a set amount of hours for a specific type of video. Let's also not forget that Xbox One Achievements are full-size pictures, and you can use them as background images if you want. I'll be honest, that is something I actually did with a few of my YouTube Achievements

And I'm legitimately happy to admit that just a day or so ago, I used my Xbox One to upload a YouTube video, and now have every single YouTube Achievement. I am not joking:

But a little over a year ago, I could no longer see those Achievements with my other Achievements on my online account. If I looked at my Achievements on my Xbox One itself, they weren't listed there either. The only way to see App Achievements was by doing the method you see above in the picture.

Related to that, recently I tried the free trail for Amazon Prime. I downloaded the app, and checked the Achievement list. I did a few things to pop an Achievement, but one never popped. As if they know the Achievements exist, but they no longer register when the correct action is done. That or I got an error, and by checking online and reading people's comments on Xbox forums, apparently either is just as likely.

And related to that, I am now paying for the streaming service VRV. It has no App Achievements, and from personal experience to before I had VRV, Crunchyroll has no Xbox App Achievements either.

App Achievements didn't catch on all that well, and you know, and if I look back I guess I can understand not everyone wanting them. I do slightly understand not programming any new ones in, however, I really wish I had the option to look at all of my achievements at once, including ones from Apps. I loved these, and I know I'm not alone from above stated forums. I know some hated them, so I think it would be cool to just have the option not to see or earn them if someone doesn't want them. Some people wanting to hate them should not completely override the people who really liked them, a compromise should be possible.

If you did hate them though, allow me to just ask you a few questions. Just to see something, and to get a full view of what you think:

- Do you sometimes look at your friends Achievement lists and go "Ugh, they really played Doritos Crash Course?" or maybe "Ugh, they really played Frozen Free Fall Snowball Fight?" Or any other free game you think they only played for the achievements?

- Do you think it's weird and/or stupid that mobile games on Windows Phones also have achievements?

- Do you think it's weird and/or stupid that Solitaire on Windows computers now also has Achievements?

- Have you ever played a game you thought was "just okay" but decided to get all of the achievements anyway? The same counts for PlayStation trophies.

If you have a problem with every single one of these questions and the App Achievements, I do have to ask what Achievements ever did to you. I mean, they're just fake rewards for video game players, let people have their fun if they're not hurting anyone. If you don't like them, fine, that's your business, I'm just asking if it's necessary to have a problem with every single thing I mentioned, and if so, if it's that big a thing to have a problem with.

If you don't like App Achievements, but at least a few of those questions were completely okay with you, let me know. It'd be interesting to hear your reasons. I do mean that. I am fine with all of the above questions, and I do find it interesting to hear other sides of the argument. Differences make us as a species more interesting after all, despite what the more close-minded may claim.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to download the Xbox Video App and see if the Achievements still work for it.

(And I may as well share the video I uploaded for the Achievement. Funny story, I also got an Achievement worth actual gamerscore because it's from SUPER HOT, and saving footage in that game gives you an Achievement.)

I Am the First Person to get Every Trophy in Solbrain: Knight of Darkness *Language NSFW*

In August of 2016, forgive me for forgetting which exact day, there was a certain game that appeared for sale of the PlayStation Store. The game cost $13.99, and was called Solbrain: Knight of Darkness. There was, however, a special sale for members of PlayStation Plus that made the game only cost $9.79, and during that sale, I bought the game for myself because I knew it wasn't going to stay on the store for long.

You see, Solbrain: Knight of Darkness is a fucking terrible game. I knew it was when I first heard about it, and I had to spend time debating with myself about buying it, because I knew it would suck, but I had to decide if it was worth getting the game as I knew without a doubt it would eventually disappear forever. Not because it was bad though, because if that was the case, it wouldn't have appeared on PlayStation to begin with. It's because the game was full of completely stolen assets.

Allow me to show you the video that first informed me about this pile of shit calling itself a game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ9XpnDlv00

Video belongs to Roosterteeth.

Channel name: Inside Gaming (Formerly The Know)

I think that's enough backstory, I'm going to now tell you the story of this blog's title. You see, because Roosterteeth did not play the game themselves (not that they had any reason to, let's be fair) they didn't know about about just how broken this game was to play.

For starter's, the fucking camera does not stop moving if you don't touch it. It keeps moving to the right if your finger isn't directly over it and guiding it. I've, no joke, never seen a video game with a broken camera like this. Then there's the enemies sometimes not getting hurt by your attacks because I guess you're too close to them or something, even though all enemies only need two hits to die. Unless you use your only magic attack, which somehow fucking kills everything around you. In fact that there are limited uses for it, making that one spell the most "video game" thing about this video game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAbrgSMEfJQ

Video done by: Cornshaq

Channel name: CornshaqGaming

Cornshaq can describe the rest to you, especially the fact that the enemies will sometimes glitch behind something and you can't kill them. And you can't save, or even fucking pause.

So until Monday, February 13th 2017, 2:48 A.M. Eastern Time, nobody had beaten this game on the PlayStation 4. No one had even beaten the tenth level, meaning they could not move to the eleventh/final level.

Until me.

I'm so far the only person who had the patience to beat this game on PlayStation.

And I watched the non-existant ending. Which was the credits, followed by a thank you to someone, and a promise the franchise will be back. I'm sure it will but I doubt it'll be on PlayStation.

This garbage banished from the PlayStation store until the ends of time. This game only sixty or so people bought and played before the plug was pulled. None of them could finish level 10, let alone the final one. I took the challenge and I fucking won.

The funny thing is, anyone who's never played this game will think this is a minor victory. You'll just think "The game was shit, clearly everyone else just gave up because it was so bad."

That's half of it. A game being hated will prevent people from finishing it. Such as Naughty Bear, which I have admitted to liking on this blog the last time I went uncensored, or the new game based on Ghostbusters that also came out in 2016. Both of those games have quite a low percentage of players who bothered to continue, let alone finish.

But anyone who has played Solbrain knows that is not the entire case. A shit game gets people to give up because they are tired of how awful it is, and they need something else.

But when a shit game is also difficult, purely due to the fact it's broken, that is when people stop because they end up being afraid this beyond shitty game will put them in a mental ward.

Hell, hours after I'd beaten it. After I'd gone to bed and woken up. I got this message from someone on PlayStation Online:

I ended up having a nice chat with this guy about it. We apparently had the same strategy of keeping enough enemies alive so that if anyone was stuck, we could still die so it would restart the level. Because thankfully dying doesn't put you at the beginning of the game, only the level, this isn't an "old school" game, just a broken one.

So let me repeat, if you get stuck you cannot pause and you cannot save. If you can't die, you have to exit the game and start from the very beginning. A game that is broken in every single fucking way, and I'm the only PlayStation player to have beaten it thus far. This poor sap is probably going to try it again now, he or she actually had more trophies than I did before I beat it, they were the original number 1 player before I kicked them down and took a crown they can't ever have because I got it first. Sure, whoever this was will probably be the second person to beat it, and I would wish 'em luck, but I also hope they decided against it. Not because it diminishes my win, because it doesn't, but because I wouldn't wish having to suffer through this game on anyone. (UPDATE: They beat it not long after the original posting here. No one else has done so in the almost three years it’s been since this post though, I’ve heard trophy support got pulled for newer players after a while because of the delisting but I still see the game in my trophies list so I don’t know if that’s true or not)

It took me over two hours just for the tenth stage, as stated above, they kept getting stuck on the fucking roofs. I didn't quit because I knew I would be the first forever, and with a game like this, that's an honor nobody wants but I am so proud of myself that I did it.

Then again, this game is so infamous others want to try it now. This is a section of another PlayStation message I got, from before I went back to complete it:

I had no idea people were actually considering hunting down this game. And I'm the asshole who bought it because I knew it'd get taken down. (By the way, I’ve recently turned off the ability for random people to message me. LOTS of people ask for this game and it’s obnoxious as it is shady as fuck.)

So I am the king of Solbrain, for whatever that is worth. These trophies are so rare, as the above picture shows, they remained at 0.0% even after I became the first person to get them. Speaking of, here's a picture from popular PlayStation trophy help site PSNProfiles.

Before you ask about the ad I got, I have a blog post about my love for toys-to-life games, and Toys R Us was the most convenient place to buy them. Usually my ads are Pizza Hut or Roosterteeth so take this one for what you will.

They couldn't figure out that I'm in the "100% club" even though if you click on it, I'm fucking there. They later fixed it but here is visual proof of the situation:

Yes, that's a PlayStation move controller on the far right of the ad. Never bought one but I consider getting PSVR ever now and again for some reason.

They list 1 person, and they changed my percentage. BUT, when I check the trophies on my personal PlayStation 4, it still says they are 0.0% earned by players. I think PlayStation official doesn't keep track of the game anymore because they removed it, so for the sake of argument, let's see who's closer to the truth.

According to my calculator app, 1/62 is:

0.0161290322580645

Move the period to the right two places, then round up, and you have 1.61%. So PSNProfiles does in fact use proper math. However, I kind of like 0.0% better, because it makes me look even more impressive. I also assume the number pool they are using is the same or close to 62 players, because if you cared about this game I can't imagine you are somebody who doesn't use PSNProfiles. Either way, my real percentage is 1.61%, but I personally think I deserve the much more brag-worthy 0.0% (UPDATE: The above did change but I was stuck at 0.0% for over a week after earning the trophies, the servers failed to recognize anyone had played the game.)

Hey, I want to get semi-serious for a moment, while on the note of what I deserve. Because it's something everyone who played this game deserves.

A refund.

I admittedly could play through this game kind of having an alright time, it was my kind of unforgivable shit. People like me don't just have a list of the worst things they've ever played or seen. They also have a list of the most objectively bad things that they didn't hate. Those lists sometimes contain the stuff that truthfully goes beyond the realms of horrible, media that has no reason to have existed and that no one truly gains anything from. This game tops my latter list, no competition.

And no one got a refund. If you're going to refund anyone, refund the guy who stood up to this game and kicked it's ass. And if you're going to refund me, you better refund all 62, maybe more, who bought this fucking stolen-asset-ridden broken pile of game. If hardly anyone bought it, which is what happened, then how much money would you really lose?

I may be proud of myself for beating a game before anyone else did on your system, but I should have never known about this game, because that would mean it didn't exist in the first place. This was not a slip-up, this was an abomination that you let go buy hoping no one caught it. I mean the developers, but I can't imagine the person from PlayStation who approved it simply "didn't know better".

Fuck, the orcs from Skyrim are an enemy. That's not rhetoric:

Oh, and the Spriggans are as well:

I sort of understand a shady developer stealing one thing from a super popular game, but two? And Skyrim of all games? That's almost asking to get caught.

I'll always find a disgusting charm for this game, but it's this game that let you open the flood gates. This game is why you are now selling Life of Black Tiger and Firefighters: The SImulation, because after Solbrain, anything looks better. I almost love my time with this game, I am proud of beating it, and I also hate everything this game stands for and what followed suite.

By the way, the main character's face looks like a doll's head. Just me? It's creeped me out since the beginning.

Whatever, I'm the winner and this game sucks. Here's a picture of the problem that other guy mentioned:

Squint and you can see it. He's a ninja or something with to orange curved swords. I assume it's from another game.

Also, in case anyone was ready to correct me, there was a PC version of this game but it's also gone from history. I don't know if I'm the first person to beat the game in general because of that, only the PlayStation 4 version, but if you own the PC version I would assume someone could mod the game for you to give you the ability to save and at least pause, and I would not consider that cheating. I would consider that as doing the developers job for them. I did it the hard way, no one else has to.

Also also, the fairy lady you see promoting this game in the header, that's artwork stolen from a deviantART page. Here's the link so you can see who really made it: 

http://coocooon.deviantart.com/art/Elf-wallpaper-196617416 

Well, I didn't get a Platinum trophy for this game, it didn't have one, so I'll just make one myself the same way the people who made this game would do it. I'm going to use the picture for Cabela's Big Game Hunter: Pro Hunts's Platinum and crappily edit in a description that has poor grammar.

A Retrospective: Drawn Together

I usually plan these retrospectives out in advance, I even have a list on my computer for a bunch of retrospectives that I plan on doing in the future. A few weeks ago, however, I bought every episode of Drawn Together on DVD, as well as the movie on blu-ray. My original intention in watching/re-watching the entire series was just to watch it again, I hadn't watched the show in years despite being a fan, and there a small handful of episodes I had never seen before period. I guess I'm just getting to the point in my life where my leisure time melds together with my professional work time.

So f#ck it let's talk about Drawn Together.

Drawn Together was an animated TV show that aired on Comedy Central for three seasons, and sometime after cancellation the network let them have a direct-to-DVD movie as a send-off that they desperately deserved. The premise behind the show was that it was the first ever animated reality TV show. Similar to the house camera shows like Big Brother, the cast would all live in the same house, and would even have backstage confessionals to talk directly to the audience about what was going on. The show completely ridiculed the formula as well as used it to it's advantage.

It would be a crime to only discuss one aspect of Drawn Together and not the two other major aspects that made this show beloved by fans and hated by everyone else. Next I'll discuss the characters. Each character was a send-up of a style of animation, some of them even of an era of animation. They were even all drawn in different styles, and this was pulled off very well (hence the title of the show). There are people who hate this show that love that idea, of eight different styles and eras of animation all sharing the same space. Anyway, there are eight characters, so I'll use eight short paragraphs, really just two or three sentences like the ones they teach you in high school that you never use professionally again. One "paragraph" for each of them.

Foxxy Love was a send-up of seventies detective cartoons, most specifically Josie and the Pussycats, as Foxxy was also a musician. Foxxy tended to be the smartest of the bunch, and certainly the sanest of the bunch on multiple occasions. 

Spanky Ham was a vulgar flash cartoon downloaded from the internet. Spanky loved anything crass or disgusting, and got a huge kick out of anything offensive. Spanky was the one who would enjoy everything going south, but still had a heart at the end of it.

Captain Hero was a send-up of superheroes like Superman, but was also a parody of frat boy tough guys that you would see on actual reality TV shows. He was a mix of immoral, feminine, overly masculine, and idiot.

Xander Wifflebottom was a parody of video game characters, and of the 80's cartoon based on video games. Xander was also an incredibly promiscuous homosexual stereotype, and shared Foxxy's spot of usually being the smartest one of the group.

Toot Braunstein was an overweight and self-loathing parody of Betty Boop. Toot was the self-appointed "bitch" because she wasn't pretty, was the most pathetic, and could eat literally anything. (Examples include a TV, one of the show's villains, a cellphone, etc.)

Ling-Ling was a parody of Pikachu, and other Japanese monster animes. Ling-Ling did not speak English, instead a made-up language meant to sound like an Asian one, and preferred to fight anything to the death for fun.

Princess Clara was a parody of the Disney princesses, with the added decision that she was also a right-wing Christian bigot. How much she hated depended on the episode. Which branch of Christianity she worshiped also depended on the episode.

And finally we have Wooldoor Sockbat, who was just a straight up parody of Spongebob. He was technically a parody of "random" and "whacky" cartoon characters, but out of the rest of the cast, he felt most like a straight rip-off of another character.

(Funnily enough, Wooldoor was far more entertaining than when Spongebob Squarepants went in the direction of trying to just please their adult fan base. In the same vein, Spanky is a lot funnier now that internet cartoons have become far more prevalent than they were in 2004 when the show started)

With the plot and cast out of the way, here is the third thing about Drawn Together. The thing that really made some people hate it.

It was an offensive comedy show that never, ever let down. It was once accurately described as "not so much crossing the line as throwing up on it". I think either the producers or one of the voice actors said that, for the record. The show did do satire, but the show itself wasn't satire, like South Park or Duckman. Drawn Together just did whatever it felt like doing, and it went further and further than most would ever dream.

This was a show where the cast could club baby seals in a montage, just because, and just have it be a minor thing they showed in the episode. I would say the closest equivalent would maybe be Family Guy, but all of Family Guy's joke come from the "hey look at this now" cut-away jokes that make the show feel like the writers aren't aware they would rather be writing for a sketch show instead of a sitcom. More importantly, practically nothing that happens in Family Guy's cut-away jokes are remotely relevant to the plot or true to the characters, while Drawn Together stayed true to what they had created.

I normally don't like a show that lacks a continuity, but Drawn Together let us know early on that the continuity would be very lacking, so anything they did might not matter in the next episode, or sometimes within the same episode. This meant they could do anything without repercussion , and if they really liked something they did, they could also slightly mention it or change it just a little bit, and it still felt in line with the series.

To get back on track with the offensive material, this is also something I don't tend to like in other shows. If you are offensive and are a meaningful satire, I tend to appreciate it and like it. If you are vulgar for the sake of it, I tend to not like it. What made me love Drawn Together was that, honestly, it wasn't really just shock value for the sake of it, even when they decided against having social commentary or a lesson to learn. To me, shock value for the sake of it is something like pointing out a dead baby and expecting me to laugh just because it's a dead baby. The comedy style of Drawn Together was more along the lines of "it's a dead baby, but wait, there's more!" It would try to top itself as often as it could, until whatever offensive content they were using was so ridiculous that you could not take it seriously, and my reaction was to laugh at it instead.

I don't actually consider Drawn Together to be a shock value comedy show. I would personally call it an offensive-absurdist comedy. I've already admitted in this blog to really like absurdist comedy, and that is the only explanation I have to adoring this show.

So, yeah, this is an absurdist comedy cartoon, sort of like what I said about CatDog. If, you know, CatDog was actually about a conjoined twin with a third twin who died in the womb and was still-birthed onto their other side but you only saw that happen once in the history of the show, or maybe Dog was black or Hispanic or something and that was the in-universe explanation for why he was slow and stupid, and Cat was white and not only looked down on Dog because of it but was also a practicing skinhead, and instead of greasers bullying them they were brutally mocked by members of the Klan who also happened to be white slavers, and there would at least once be a discussion from them about how the Confederate flag isn't really racist even if they themselves are incredibly racist and use it in a racist manner and okay maybe it is racist after all but why would they care if it was, and every time Cat or Dog lost they actually just exploded into chunks of gore or when they got eaten they would be chewed to pieces first and at least once Winslow would have taken a massive sh#t in Cat's dead mouth just because he's an a##hole. Oh and they would all have to use confessionals like on reality TV.

Something like that.

Speaking of CatDog, in that retrospective I went season by season. It worked then because each season was radically different and easily identifiable. I can't do it too well for this show, but I'll give a small overview of the minor differences.

Season one was incredibly short, and was the most like a parody of reality TV. This season built that up a lot, before the writers decided to go the absurdist route instead. The plots were closer to a parody of something you would see on reality TV: A visit from a mentally retarded cousin, an eating disorder brought upon by self-hate that the others end up making worse due to stupidity, and the finale which was the cast complaining that there wasn't a cash prize.

Then season two and along and said f#ck you to the premise and did whatever it wanted. Aside from the first episode of this season having fun with Survivor, the show just went to the bizarre antics of the cast. This was also the first season where Captain Hero more or less became the main character. The producers realized they had made a character who was completely stupid, and had no moral compass, meaning he could do anything evil or anything good because he was without any moral one way or the other, and he wasn't smart enough to realize this about himself. They could have him do literally anything and it wouldn't be out-of-character. Which, again, is a reason I love this show. It didn't sacrifice character for a joke, it only did jokes with characters it fit with. Oh, this was also the first of two seasons to end with a clip-show. Done much better than normal.

I watched the movie before re-watching the third season, so f#ck you I'm going to talk about the movie. This movie is hated by fans and haters of the show alike. It was done in flash and looks like it, and the movie spent a very long time with a moral that you don't have to hide behind a message to tell the dirtiest and most offensive jokes you want. I'll be honest I don't get the hate, I like the movie. It's not great, but I like it. It's just like the show usually was in terms of offensive comedy, and as for the animation, yeah it's bad but remember I stated earlier that I bought the blu-ray. It doesn't look half bad in 1080p, so yeah, sorry if you bought the DVD, I bet that version does look like sh#t. Also, the blu-ray was exclusive to Best Buy, and I want to know what acts of bondage Best Buy had to do to get the exclusivity contract. You held out on us Best Buy! Be honest with your customers, if you did the dirty for a blu-ray you should say it! The kids need to know.

Also breaking common opinion, the third season might be my favorite. A lot of fans think it's the least good in quality, because it got a lot more into gross humor than usual, but I think it made up for it by having some of the funniest moments in the series. Don't tell me you didn't think Wooldoor becoming a cereal mascot was funny. That was hilarious, one of my favorite episodes hands down. The third season was also my introduction to this series, so maybe that has a factor as well, I was prepared for the furthest they could go from my first day.

I guess I just like the bits of this series that no one likes. Probably a coincidence.

OR IS IT!?

*music sting*

Probably.

OR IS IT?!

*music sting*

Or maybe I don't care anymore about this joke.

OR DO I?!

*music sting*

Okay, I'm done now.

OR AM I!?

*music sting*

As for the blu-ray, you'll have to third party it now through Amazon or Ebay or whatever, but the DVDs of the show are easy to find as well as the DVD of the movie. I guess skip the movie, but I like it so I also recommend it at the same time. Also the show isn't on blu-ray in case that was too f#cking confusing for you. Just the movie.

I give this show ten Drawn Togethers out of ten.

May the force by with you.

This was a good show.

Classic Literature Review: Pinocchio the Tale of a Puppet

Before I start the normal process of critiquing and analyzing this story, for it's tone and characters  and every typical reason someone reviews a piece of fiction, I need to drop my professionalism to say that this is without a doubt the weirdest book I have ever read. Pinocchio is one of Italy's most famous fairy tales, maybe even its most famous, and while reading it I felt it was a mix of fairy tale and outright absurdism. I enjoy absurdism, such as absurdist comedy or the style of play fiction called absurdist theatre. With years of absurdist entertainment under my belt, I still say Pinocchio is the weirdest book I have ever read, and perhaps the weirdest piece of media I have ever partaken. It is not the most nonsensical, simply the weirdest.

Pinocchio started life as a cautionary tale for children. So much so that originally, author Carlo Collodi had Pinocchio die from his brush with the assassins who try to rob him of his gold. He recovered and the story became longer, due to the original ending receiving backlash from readers. Whilst the ending was changed, the story never let up on Pinocchio needing to learn his lesson about being a good boy. It is not a spoiler anymore to say that the end goal is that he would stop being a puppet and become a human boy, but this goal only exists near the end. The lesson is from the very beginning of the story, it is simply that the stated goal is different depending on which section of the story you are reading. Mostly, the reason is simply that Pinocchio should behave himself.

Collodi's moral is, at times, less about being a good behaved little boy who obeys the rules, and more about what he knows and believes about society. The moral is a form of social commentary. The story explicitly states that Pinocchio is only being whiny and lazy, and that this is a major problem he needs to grow out of. When he refuses to go to school, he is chastised for taking the easy way out and not caring about becoming smarter. When he refuses again, he is told that if that is how he really feels, than he needs to get a job instead like a respectable member of society. When Pinocchio refuses both of these things, and claims he'd rather do nothing but beg for what he wants, he is told only the elderly and the infirm have the right to beg. The person who tells him this is his father Geppetto, who himself is an older person, who is poor but working. The story quite honestly handles this message well. By having a conservation between two fully written characters saying what they would honestly say, it does not feel like a straw-man argument, and it becomes hard to disagree with Geppetto, as it is clear Pinocchio isn't truly strong on his convictions and is only looking for an easy way out.

Pinocchio is one of the most bizarre heroes I've come across. The majority of the time he is a selfish child, realistically so. He does wise-up, several times, only for his old habits and stupidity to come right back and put him in the original position he was once in. I said this story is the weirdest thing I've ever read, and Pinocchio himself may be the least intelligent protagonist I've ever invested my time with. You don't so much root for him, as you hope that this time he's finally figured it out for real. In that way, he is like a child or a young adult. He does know better, and he wants to do better, but he will give up his intelligence at the drop of a hat if he is tempted hard enough. At times, you aren't hoping he's changed for his sake, you're doing it because you want the people who love him to no longer have to bare the burdens he causes.

Allow me to describe how roughly half of the scenarios play out in this story. It starts with someone saying what they are going to do, be it a wise decision or an outright evil one. The other character states they should do the opposite instead. The first character declines. The second character states again what should be done instead. Suddenly the first character agrees with them.

It's practically a running joke, and I am not exaggerating how it is about half of the story. This is how Pinocchio is always tempted, this is how Pinocchio always gets out of trouble, and this is how Pinocchio always supposedly learns a lesson.

There is a bit where Pinocchio is held captive by a puppeteer named Fireeater. Fireeater states that because Pinocchio has bothered him, he is going to throw him in the fire so he can cook his mutton. Pinocchio and the other puppets object, and Fireeater cries, saying he is in fact a nice person and realizes he could never do that to Pinocchio.

Fireeater then states he still needs a better fire, so he will use one of his other puppets instead. He, Pinocchio, and the other puppets convince him again in the exact same way and with the exact same outcome. Fireeater figures he is going to eat his mutton half raw, and the readers have just sat through the exact same bit twice in a row. Somehow, it works.

It's late to mention this now, but in the world of Pinocchio, everything talks. There's a kind cricket whom Pinocchio accidentally kills, and then comes back as a ghost. There's the kind fairy that starts out as the living corpse of a little girl, and then suddenly becomes a fully grown woman who promises to be Pinocchio's mother if he behaves himself. There's a terrible dogfish, a police dog, the aforementioned puppets of Fireeater, a Fox and a Cat who try to cheat Pinocchio out of his money, and yet for some reason, it is revealed that donkeys have their own language when everything else was speaking English. Or whichever language that copy of the story is written.

For a simple morality tale, Pinocchio takes levels of absurdity and makes it all work. On the one hand, I do not know if I can recommend the story if you are already familiar with any of the adaptations. I suspect it may be harder to follow for some, and those who were not expecting a dark tale might be in for a shock. Even without blood, there are still scenes of limb removal on at least two occasions, and death simply seems to be common place and barely a big deal. Not to mention the above possible running gag, which could very easily become boring and tired to several readers. Especially since you can read the entire story in one sitting, which I did.

However. If you wish to read something incredible bizarre. Lacking in sense and yet making sense. A story that does not back off from it's moral for one second, and is made stronger because of the fact. Then, yes, I do highly recommend the original Pinocchio. We roughly all know the basic story, but I don't know if any of us can know what to expect until we read it for ourselves. I understand not wanting the confusion, but if you are remotely curious, give it a chance. There is, perhaps, nothing like it.

The Women's March Has Restored My Faith In Protests

Several months ago I wrote my first political post, calmly and rationally discussing my disgust at the election turn outs, and my opinions of the extremism from both sides which I truly believe was one of the more important reasons why this all happened.

I also in that post discussed how peaceful protests have been going downhill, with people now attacking random civilians or police men who would have been on the side of the protesters, or just breaking public or private property. (Although to be a hypocrite I did hear about the neo-Nazi who was punched on inauguration day by a protester and I plan on watching said video sometime because that is something I fully agree with and am happy happened)

I won't bother copy and pasting my older statements, especially since as far as I know, I am in fact say the wrong thing after all. Getting political is hard when it comes to not stirring anything up. All I need to say is that today, there were was a Woman's March. In fact, there were several.

On every single continent. Yes, including Antarctica.

And everything the protesters is, was what I have been waiting for.

There were no arrests. No reports of broken property. No rough housing. Everyone simply came together, and peacefully stating everything that is going wrong. The worst thing that could be said is the vulgarity of some of the signs, which in this day and age means nothing.

And they came in droves. In total, all together, millions. One of the marches counted a total of around 750,000. That is impressive, and it is more impressive how well everyone behaved considering the last few years. This is how you protest, and any protest after this that doesn't follow suite has learned nothing.

The following years will be terrifying, horrible, disgusting. However, if the powers that be have to contend with the kind of protests I saw today, then they are in for a world they will not like either.

A quick history lesson. Fascism always started bad for the citizens, but it ended very bad for the fascists themselves.

So let's share some moments from Twitter about this amazing part of the world's history.

This next one will simply be a link to The Atlantic, which sums up photos from around the world. https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2017/01/photos-of-the-womens-marches-around-the-world/514049/

You don't need me to tell you this, but keep marching. This is the right thing to do, and those against it are learning they are far more powerless than they think.

I Don't Have Anything Intersting To Say This Week

Well this is interesting.

So I originally wanted to do a post that required a lot of time and effort. The idea came to me one day before I started writing, so yeah, I have absolutely no time for that right now if I wanted to post it in time for my weekly deadline of every Wednesday.

I then thought about taking more about video games, but I've been talking about video games on here a lot. I don't want to be a video game blogger, and it was starting to feel like that was what I was becoming.

I'm mostly supposed to use this blog as a way to promote myself, and to keep myself writing every week. Well, this post will do the latter half. If I somehow got popular from this post than I'd be very blown away since this is the first post I'm putting almost no effort into. At least I'll still be proof-reading it before I post it.

I guess I could just ask how you guys are doing. That's "guys" in the gender-neutral sense. Same way I use the word "dude" if I'm being frank. I don't know why, I just never really used either word to direct to any specific gender. World's getting more progressive so that's something I don't have to worry about changing about myself, that's good.

So yeah leave a comment saying how you're doing I guess. I'm sorry if things aren't going your way. Things happen but they shouldn't have to. If you're doing fine, cool, feel free to spread some of that happiness with the world.

Did any of you see the Nintendo Switch reveal? Personally I was more hyped for the console before the reveal, now my interest is waning a little bit. However, it's been a long time since I played a Mario game and Super Mario Odyssey looks like it might be the one to bring me back. Also, anyone else expecting Nintendo to make an Amiibo out of the new suddenly alive hat Mario wears for the game? Either on Mario or just by itself. They Amiibo practically everything, which I have to admire even though I only just bought my first Amiibo and I'm not planning on getting many more, just the recent Kirby ones.

I mentioned the Switch so, screw it, I'm putting it in the tags. I'm a starving artist who needs to get the word out, alright? Click-bait is more necessary than you think in this day and age. Is it day and age or day in age? I'm positive it's the former but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter and it's just a stupid saying.

Oh, speaking of sayings. You know "Curiosity killed the cat"? That's only the first half of the saying, the rest is "Satisfaction brought him back". Yeah, it's not supposed to be a warning against trying new things, it's meant to tell you that you should expand your horizons because you might like what you get. No wonder people are scared of trying new things now, some A-hole ruined a really good saying.

I guess this blog now does rambling posts as well. I'm following the leader just like everyone else who does entertainment. At least I'm better than Rob Schneider.

Seriously, what the hell was all that stuff he just said on Twitter? I'm not being political here, it didn't even sound like a conservative, it sounded like the ramblings of some mentally insane man who's been living alone for thirty years and barely remembers the language he speaks.

Also to be not-political with political things, apparently today there has been discussion on arming schools in defense of, of all things, grizzly bears. Only from one person so far but with these kind of things I'm sure a couple of people will raise their voice and say "It's such a big problem we always knew about! Finally someone gets it!" even though they never thought about bears in schools before or even knew what a bear was. 

Back on point, I don't care what side you're on, if you're that scared of a bear attacking a school you know you can just bait them, right? Animal bait exists, people use it to keep animals confided to one spot, often away from something important. National parks do this sometimes, I think, when they have picnic areas and try to keep the animals away, although mostly they just leave a million signs telling you it's a bad idea to leave your discarded food on the tables and please put them in the trash cans that are designed to not be openable by bears and raccoons. Hell I grew up in a state famous for bears and this is probably what we did if a bear sighting happened. Although I went to both a middle school and a high school with deep woods out back and the only time we hear about a bear attack was a joke a teacher told one time.

Whatever, it's over now. Have a good week, something better will come out next week.

Can A Bad Adaptation Be A Good Movie?

Way back in high school I remember a class mate of mine (who's name and appearance I have long since completely forgotten) once told me, and I believe a few others who were also in the room at the same time, about her opinion on a movie she had seen. Apparently, she originally really liked the movie, may have even loved it if I'm remembering correctly. Then she said that after she read the book, she hated the movie because of how different it was from the source material. This statement immediately bothered me, outright confused me. For the life of me, I didn't see why something being different from it's source material should mean that it is automatically bad. It didn't bother her when she didn't know what the books were like, but suddenly, knowing it differed from it's source material meant that it must be bad.

Needless to say I don't agree with this mindset. The point of this post is not to simply shake my fist in the air and proclaim that I believe adaptations are allowed to take liberties. What I would like to do instead is discuss just how common this really is, and how people don't really have as much of a problem with this as many say they do. Let's be real, we have all heard the same thing or similar to my example from a high school girl. Some of us may have even said it ourselves. I'm not going to point out your hypocrisy or try to change your opinion, I just want to talk about how many things we love are actually adaptations that differ slightly or heavily, some of them you may not even know are adaptations in the first place.

Also this is now the point where I tell you the movie she was talking about was one of the Percy Jackson movies. I don't know which one, I never saw any of them or read the books. I waited until now to mention it by name as I'm aware the movies were not well-received, my point would have been made muddy if I used a widely-considered bad movie as my starting point, so I waited until now. For the record, this is how you stretch the truth effectively. I never withheld anything from you, I just waited for the time it would be best to mention. Consider that if you ever run for political positions. It is much better than lying. It beats having the piss takin' outta you, if you get what I mean.

Now to get back on topic. Perhaps you noticed the picture I used above? The picture was taken by myself, and those are in fact all pieces of media with their adaptations above them. I did the traditional book to movie, then video game to manga, comic book to video game, and book to comic book. I thought it would be interesting to do as many fields as I could, and I really do think it's best to do adaptations not as many people are aware of. I could take all day telling you that Disney films are okay and it doesn't matter if they are too accurate or not. That doesn't help my point, as even the person with the hardest stigma against my point tends to let Disney slide by. Perhaps this is because they mostly do fairy tales, but just as a reminder they also did adaptations of full novels, such as Tarzan of the Apes, The Hunchback of Notro Dame, Pinocchio The Tale Of A Puppet, and Bambi: A Life In The Woods. 

Speaking of, if you work at a book store and you have in stock a copy of Bambi: A Life in the Woods, do not put it in the kids section. It's a young adult novel that's very dark and realistic for it's setting. If it has that subtitle, it's the original story and it's not meant for children. I've seen it in that section and it worried me about some innocent child reading it and being horrified. It's also one of my favorite books.

Let's start with the first two in the picture; the novel Nothing Lasts Forever and it's adaptation Die Hard. Nothing Lasts Forever was apparently popular enough when it was published to warrant a film, despite being obscure now. The book itself is also a sequel to the novel The Detective, which also got a movie, that is not connected to Die Hard at all. Die Hard is an action classic, and it's overshadowed the novel so much, that my copy literally tells you on the cover that it's the book Die Hard is based on. The back cover barely talks about the book, most of the positive things are about the film instead. I felt this was perfect to start out with, as this is more common than you think. Hellraiser, The Wizard of Oz, the aforementioned Bambi, many movies get so well-known that many do not realize they are an adaptation. For some, they only learn when they decide to read that fact in the credits, or when they go to a bookstore or library and find a copy like mine that proudly states the fact.

Now, as for the book, it's very similar but has some very notable differences. It is worth a read if you so feel, but I won't shed tears saying the movie is much better. There may be things that make the original book worth reading, but one is vastly superior, and I understand not bothering with the other if you don't care enough. If you feel you only have time in your life for one of them, and you've already watched Die Hard, you don't need to feel like you've lost something. They took some of the better parts of the novel, and ironed out what didn't work. This is something that some may argue is not too accurate of an adaptation, but that I would argue makes for a great adaptation. You have to truly understand your source material to be able to say "This isn't good" or "This is good for the book but it wouldn't work for a movie". We've entered an era where filmmakers try to be more faithful to the source than ever before. It's worked out for them for now, but I'm waiting for the day when film goers start asking for the adaptations to have more differences like they used to, and I'm very positive this will happen.

Now for video game to manga. The Kingdom Hearts games are beloved by fans like myself. The first game has a storyline that is still considered wonderful to this day, and even with later installments getting far too complicated, we still do our best to understand them. The manga takes the basic plot and turns it into a complete farce, and I'm not the first one to say that. I can understand this being a turn-off for many people. Taking a game series that they love so much, and basically making fun of it. Well, personally, the first game is one of my all-time favorite games, and I adore the manga adaptation. There's a very strong "so bad it's good" vibe that I get from it, and I don't think I could have it any other way. Case in point, the one I chose for the picture is the manga for Chain of Memories, which takes itself more seriously and tones down the wacky jokes and atmosphere without getting rid of them. It makes the quality better, and means I do not lose the moments that I loved from the original manga productions. It cuts out more of the plot than the last one, the only Disney world left is Agrabah from Aladdin, meaning it keeps itself self-contained arguably better than the game did.

I can still play the games until I die, and they will remain unique experiences that cannot be replicated. In a way, I think that is what the manga is going for. Doing it's own thing because it knows it would just be an inferior copy if it tried being a regular copy. What this manga series is, is a comedy to the point that it may as well be a parody of the games, and I appreciate and love it for that.

Now for the third. What I love about Sam & Max is that no matter what version you are currently enjoying, it has the same characters in completely different situations. There was an original comic strip series, many video games, and a cartoon aimed towards children. By this point, it is a franchise, and every iteration is a cult-classic. If you like one, you will like the other as well, for similar and different reasons. I think that's something to remember. When you become a franchise, many of your installments are in fact adaptations. They should be held in regard to the other installments, but they are still products that need to be judged on their own for what they are. If you don't know Sam & Max, I have no problem saying you can start anywhere. If you do try, and you like what you got, then I say you may as well keep going even if it seems like a big leap.

And the last was  Lost on a Mountain in Maine and it's very recent comic book adaptation Lost Trail. I read the original book in middle school, and a few years ago I came across the comic I did not know existed at the time. I purchased the comic, reread the book, and then read the comic. I think both are quite good, and are on equal playing field with each other. If you don't know the story, it's the real-life story of Donn Fendler, who as a boy became lost from his family on Mount Katahdin. In Maine it is considered a classic that we read in schools, so I'll forgive if you have never heard the story. For us it's a personal thing, Maine is very big on fellow Mainers. The book was written by someone who simply wrote down what Donn told him, and the comic came decades later, with Fendler still having a part in the process, although admittedly I don't know how much. The book is a great read because you are just reading a child retell a harrowing experience that had happened recently. The comic is a great read because Fendler himself admitted that he remembered more about the event when age let it stew in the back of his mind.

I don't just recommend either, I recommend both. I think they compliment each other. They are great alone, but if you read the original first and immediately follow it up with the comic, you have a winning combination.

So all in all, I have talked about adaptations that overshadow the original, adaptations that decide to just do their own thing and damn the consequences, the power of franchising, and an adaptation that fills in some of the blanks the original couldn't.

All of them, to me, are just as valid.

Maybe it is nice to know exactly what you are getting into. Honestly, I could sit here and argue the fact that sometimes a good adaptation leads to a bad product. All I ask for in an adaptation is one thing, and I think it is best we all consider following this.

The only thing I ask from an adaptation, is that it is good. I don't care if it's faithful, I don't care if it's ridiculous, I don't care if it has almost nothing in common with the original. I just want a product that I end up enjoying. I think that is all I need to ask.

So, yeah. A good movie can come out of a bad adaptation. Or a good manga, or video game, book, or comic book. It's happened before, and it will happen again. Whether it's a slight variation or a completely different take. Anything enjoyable can be taken as it's own product.

Pokemon Moon Review: Different Can Be Good?!

I was a child in the 90's. There really wasn't much of a choice when it came to knowing about Pokemon. I watched the TV show, I collected a few of the cards, and starting with the second generation I have played every generation of the games. For a better reference, I have played Silver, Gold, Ruby, Emerald, Firered, Platinum, Soulsilver, Black, Black 2, X, Omega Ruby, and now Moon. After graduating college and personal soul-searching, I ended up questioning exactly how much this franchise does mean to me. I thought back on each game, and I realized I only liked half of the ones I played, and all due to similar reasons when it came to dislikes. This was mostly set off by Pokemon X, which I personally felt was not only a let down, but the first legitimately bad game in the series. I decided to give this latest game a chance, and also decided that should I not like this game either, I would be done with the series. It would be time to give up pretending that really liking some of the games meant I liked the franchise.

My expectations flip-flopped constantly with this game before release. The trailers looked very promising, and I could not help but get excited over them. However, my excitement did not always last, and far too familiar warning signs seemingly creeped up.

I bring all of this up because it looks like Gamefreak knew there were a lot of players like me. Who for years have had complaints even when they did really like the end product. My biggest hope for the game was that it would not be a return to formula. My biggest hope was that it would take all of the problems this series has had, and finally take them head on and fix them.

Allow me to tell you a few of the ways that they did just that.

Gone is the gym leader system. Instead, you fight wild Pokemon known as Totem Pokemon, who are super-powered and have incredibly strong moves. When you fight enough of them, you fight an actual trainer known as a Kahuna, and they are also very tough enemies. Each Totem Pokemon is foreboding and challenging, and every single Kahuna is packed with personality. Also, you do not just happen by the Totem Pokemon, you are given a Trial from trainers known as Captains. The Captains are also full of personality, and each Trial feels unique and memorable. Gone are the days of a Gym Leader with one stock personality trait, whose gym is truth-be-told not all that different from the last one you were just in. The more unique Gym Leaders were always a favorite amongst players, and this time, every single Trial Captain and Kahuna has every bit of personality those popular Gym Leaders had, and more.

Speaking of the Trial's difficulty, this game truly addresses a problem I have had since the very beginning and am glad they finally addressed it. Pokemon games have never been known to be completely easy, however, myself and many players found the difficulty to be random and sporadic. It was not uncommon for a random trainer to be ten times stronger than a Gym Leader you just fought. Difficulty is one thing, but Pokemon tended to go for cheaper and more unfair versions of this. There would be many times where you would lose and it would not even be your fault, as the game just decided to stack itself against you for little to no reason. They tried addressing this in X, but the result was that the game became too easy. It may sound weird to complain it was too hard and then complain it was too easy, but what I'm trying to say it that the gradual balance of difficulty was not used to good effect either way. The games that were too hard were full of sudden difficulty spikes you could not prepare for, and the very easy X and Y felt as if it never grew any form of difficulty as it went on. Instead of an upward line on the graph, it stayed completely flat the whole way.

 In Moon, random trainers do not tend to be very hard up until the very end sections of the game. The Trials, however, are quite difficult and require skill to master. Once you see the word "Trial" appear on your screen, you know what you are getting in for, which means you can prepare yourself for what is about to come. To me, this was the most challenging Pokemon game I've ever played, because while other games were harder, this one was one I could understand and adapt to, so I could actually focus on what was being thrown at me, and I would actually have to think everything over instead of just throwing myself into the fire. I have never strategized  in a Pokemon game as much as I have in Moon, and I am very happy for it.

And that is not even discussing the new Z-moves. One time per battle moves that can be used by any Pokemon that now an attack with the same typing as the Z-stone, and some of them are exclusive to just certain Pokemon in general. Once you use the move, that is it, you cannot use another one until you have a new battle. If it didn't work the way you were hoping it did, you had to think on your feat. Versus say the Mega evolutions from the last generation, which stayed in their form for the entire battle. These were all one-and-done, you could not simply hit the button without thinking too hard like myself and many others did with Mega evolution, and this is coming from somebody who originally expected Mega evolution to become a feature he would love.

As the many trailers pointed out, this game also introduced regional forms for certain Pokemon. One thing that has bothered me for quite some time is just how many times I would play a new Pokemon game, and yet I barely found any new Pokemon compared to the old ones. With regional forms, these older Pokemon were given new life, and felt as if they were brand new. Their new typing helped to do so, and in some cases even fixed the problems those older Pokemon had. For example, I was always a fan of the poison type known as Grimer and it's evolved form Muk. While I liked them, I was aware they were not useful in battle, it's stats did not match up with it's typiing very well. In Moon, it gains the Dark-type, and it's move set is changed in a way that makes it a very formidable ally or opponent. It can now use a very powerful Bite and Crunch, learns more useful poison-type attacks, and is completely immune to the Psychic-type that is used to take immense damage from. I caught a Grimer early on, and it ended up being one of the six Pokemon I took all the way to the end.

This was taken before I entered this game's version of VIctory Road, but notice even here that Muk was one of the highest levels. Because I kept using him for anything it had an advantage against, or something that nothing had an advatange against so I hit it hard instead.

There are many other things I could go on about. How this was the first time that a comedic villainous gang actually worked for me, how it no longer asked you twice on whether or not you didn't want to learn a new move, that the mechanic of Sun usually being set in the daytime when you play and Moon being set mostly at night means there is finally a real reason to get either/or copy, or that the final villain of the game manages to be truly menacing and terrifying.

There is, however, only one thing that should be the focus of what this review is about. When it comes to story and character, this is the most in-depth the series has ever gotten. Many people who loved the original games will proclaim up and down that the vague hints at story was some of the best story they ever needed, despite the fact it really was little to nothing. Fans of the fifth generation point out that the deconstruction of the series formula and the dynamics of it's characters make it the most fleshed out, and there was a time I agreed with them. Sun and Moon once again go for deconstruction, and it pulls it over even better than the last time.

When I first started playing this game, I noticed just how well the cutscenes played out, how well-explained and free-flowing the gameplay was, how the characters worked off each other. Pokemon games were always their own thing, and from the start I felt like this was the time one I could call a full-on video game. This is not a diss on those older games, as I do still love the ones that I love, but they never felt so much like video games as they felt like their own thing; Pokemon games. This one bridges the gap, and by doing so, they made an unforgettable video game that I recommend above any other game with the Pokemon name slapped on.

I cared, during this game. Typically, I would place emotions into the Pokemon friends that I caught, that was all I needed. By the end of my journey, the characters I had grown to know felt like actual characters. I felt like the protagonist I was playing actually mattered in the world, as did everyone she knew.

When the infamous Sonic Boom came out, video game critic and pundit Jim Sterling said that the game was so bad that it reminded him that he was going to eventually die along with everyone else and that nothing he did really mattered. Playing to the end of Pokemon Moon felt like the positive opposite of that. Pokemon Moon made me realize that it will eventually be over, but that my precious little time mattered so much and was worth every second I will get out of it. I usually replay these games, do self-imposed challenges, but my experience with this game was so personal that that would feel like I spit all over it. I loved this game so much that I am preserving the memory of my time with it by never playing it again. Any second playthrough would feel like stepping on a loved one's grave. I can't bear myself to ruin something that became something so special.

-Final Score-

Pokemon Moon gets a 9 out of 10. It would have been a solid ten, but there is an issue where the framerate drops every time there are more than two Pokemon in a battle, and sometimes it lags just a little bit if a two Pokemon battle lasts too long. Should they fix it, it's a solid ten, and even without a fix this is my second favorite Pokemon game ever made.

Is The Commercialization Of Christmas Really A Bad Thing?

Before I start with the content of this post, I would like to point out for those who did not know, that this year all three of the winter religious holidays happened at roughly the same time. The first day of Hanukkah was the exact same day as Christmas Eve, and the first day of Kwanzaa was the day after Christmas, or Boxing Day as some call it. Kwanzaa and Hanukkah also both end on January 1st this year. Kwanzaa is always from the 26th of December though the first of January, but Hanukkah does not have an exact date every year, and I think it is nice how that all turned out. In a way, it's almost as if all three holidays put aside their differences and came together this year. Something we more of in the future, and less of the kind of people who are still mad other holidays have a right to exist.

To get on with the actual content of this post, for years people have complained about how Christmas time has gotten more commercial and the important aspects of the holidays are being slowly removed. Now, I'm not going to waste my time talking about the religious zealots who would be complaining about their precious holiday going away even if nothing was happening at all. This is not a post about the anti-PC crowd that are thin-skinned in their hypocrisy and their misplaced anger, as I said above, that is not this kind of post. What I will be discussing is the actual commercial aspects that have found their way into one of the biggest holidays of the year, and debating how good or bad of a thing that is.

Should this post be read by someone somewhere how has never heard of the holiday known as Christmas, the basic idea is split into two ways. For the religious side, it is the birth date given to Jesus Christ, whom the Christians consider to have been the true son of God, and you celebrate his birth by buying presents and giving them out on this day to your loved ones. On the commercial side, the gift giving is made the important part, and you see many stores both local and corporate reminding you to go out and buy all of your friends and loved ones something very nice for them to show them how much you care. Christmas cards also exist, but for years I have personally felt like they are going out of style. They are always cheesy, corporate, and the mail service gets most of it's business through packages so I have a feeling Christmas cards are not doing them the business it used to. More power to you if you still have a Christmas card list and mail them out, but cards aren’t my thing and I’d rather buy my loved ones something nice, but then again I keep my list of close personal friends very short so maybe I’d like cards more if I knew thousands of people.

On both sides of this, there is also a fellow named Santa Claus who magically rides on a sleigh every Christmas Eve, who brings presents to all the good little girls and boys, and depending on your country of origin, he either brings lumps of coal to the naughty children, or he has his magical monster friend the Krampus come and kidnap them. There are other slight variations of the Santa mythos, such as some countries have the children leave out their shoes and some hang stockings on a wall, but it is the same magical figure flying around the world giving gifts. Supposedly the religious types don't like Santa, for the sake of "keep the Christ in Christmas", but this is something I have literally only heard on TV.

I won't pretend I'm in a super-duper religious state, but it is religious enough that I would have heard people say this if these kind of people exist. Mostly it seems they are okay with Santa Claus, as it means they too celebrate Christmas, if they are the kind of person who wishes everyone believe the same things they do as well. Honestly, the biggest complaint I hear about the figure is that many adults have begun to question if it is alright to let your child believe he exists, the argument being that you are feeding them a lie for many years knowing the bubble will have to be burst at some point down the line. It's an interesting argument, but I've already brought up enough topics for today.

Personally, I love Christmas and I celebrate it every year. I'm religious enough, and I do like taking one day out of the year just to make sure we're all happy and doing well. In my worst years, the entirety of December leading up to the holiday would be my favorite month. I like the feeling of joy and good will, and even if I'm aware of some of the worst aspects, I still do love this time. (For an example, those people who ring bells outside of the mall for charity money don't always give to who they say they do, and some are completely homophobic in their cause. Don't let that ruin your spirit, but do feel free to let that be a lesson in researching where you put your money).

Growing up I did also have a few Christmas books we read aloud for the season. I believe one was religious in nature and the other was just a book about American Christmas, straight-up called Christmas in America. Forgive me for not knowing more, even though we do pull those books out every year to stand up and look at, we haven't read them in over a decade because my mother was the only person who thought they were interesting. My Christmas experience is truly no more religious nor commercial in nature than anyone else's, so I think I can add an easy argument here.

Now for the religious aspect, this is still a religious holiday to many and there is nothing wrong with that. No one is truly trying to take that away from you, and chances are the majority of the people who celebrate the religious version already know that, and tune out the fanatics just as much as the rest of the world. The loud and angry ones are never the majority that they think they are, after all. Personally, while having aspects of religion in me, I don't do much for the religious version because I am just happy to buy things for the people I care about, and I really love the atmosphere and the feeling. My family however does have their own traditions, and all-in-all, that is kind of how religious holidays work, with the people who celebrate it exactly how they think they should celebrate this time. Everyone does it differently, and it all means the same to them, as that is the point of religious holidays. To reaffirm your belief in God, yourself, the people around you, the whole world and all the people in it.

And so the question is if the commercialization aspect does in fact ruin all of the above.

In all fairness of course I understand having your feathers ruffled at the idea of trivializing a special time. That, in the end, is part of the process of commercializing something. Capitalizing on something with the intention of not just making a profit, but of trying to make a dollar out of as many people as you possibly can. This is not a niche market where they hope the crowd opens up, this is something where they plan on striking everyone's hearts and wallets at the same time.

We are talking giant inflatable Santas that are both on display and available for purchase, we are talking licensed Disney characters in Christmas clothes to place on your lawn, even made-for-TV movies about the holiday that are produced on a nickel and sold for ten or twenty dollars per DVD.

And I'll be real, I don't have a problem with this.

Businesses are businesses, they suck the money out of everything. We are talking about the very people who have invented holidays simply to grab our hard earned cash, we do not need to be surprised that they are trying to do so with the holidays they didn't invent as well. Personally, I always liked the upside to this. This really and truly does get as many people into the Christmas spirit as possible.

And, it does give the non-Christians a chance to enjoy something about the holiday as well.

Now like I said, there is nothing on Earth that could take away the religious section of Christmas. The only thing that could be done would be one of two things: It would be the businesses somehow buying all of the churches, or the death of Christianity. As for the former, don't get me wrong, I can think of many businesses of the top of my head that would gladly buy out every church in the world if they could, but the power of the church is something too strong even for the raw power of corporate greed. Even the ones that already go hand-in-hand with them, but I'll stop there. As for the latter, for any one of you that wants to point out it is not unheard-of for a religion to die, remember that no religion truly evaporates from existence, and also to be real, if Christianity is going away at some point it is not in your lifetime nor mine. It has been around for thousands of years even with it's detractors.

To get back on point, have any of you heard of how Christmas goes in Japan? Japan does not associate Christmas with the usually associated religion, but they do celebrate it, and it is very commercial. Lights and decorations everywhere, all the good cheer the holiday can bring, Christmas trees everywhere. I love this idea. While it may in the end just be the demand of the almighty dollar, we can still use this as a way to love and cherish everything about the holiday, no matter your own personal beliefs.

And not only will I say more power to you if you disagree, I am going to make you happy by adding something else. If you are so unhappy with the commercialization that you refuse to take part in buying the merchandise, than you are in fact doing exactly what the corporations are hoping you do not do. Their plan is you get your money, and by denying them your wallet out of protest, you honestly are hurting their end goal. You may only be one person, but the goal is not to just make money, it is to make everyone's money. They may not know your name, but they know, as corporations are more than ever ready to bleed everything dry, they know when they can’t get everyone, and some of them furiously hate that. Go ahead and have your small victory, but it may only feel small to you, believe it or not.

So, in the end, my point is that a holiday is a holiday. It is our own right to celebrate however we feel, and personally, I like knowing that my favorite holiday can reach the hearts of millions in any way they see fit. If you feel this has gotten out of hand, then again, more power to you, celebrate the holiday as you see fit.

It is too late to wish a Merry Christmas in this post, and both Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are roughly halfway done at this point so wishing a Happy Hanukkah or Merry Kwanzaa is a little strange I suppose. It is not, however, too late to wish a Happy New Year to all of my readers. There is a lot about the upcoming year. Some of it frightening, very frightening, although I do hope we can come together and try to understand each other a lot better. No matter what holidays we love, or how we celebrate them.

Why My YouTube Channel Will Never Be Successful

In July of 2012, I created a YouTube channel for the purpose of creating and uploading videos. The idea was never to make money off of this channel, from the very start the idea was to use the platform as a way to get my creative material out there for the world to see. When I first started it up, my views weren't necessarily bad for a brand new channel. Looking back at one of my first videos, it is just shy of five hundred views, and for an unknown channel that is not a bad number. It is not even my most viewed video, but, it is definitely up there in that regard. Said video was the first episode of my nine episode horror-comedy about an Apple fan who was also a serial killer, and if you'd like to see why so many people watched this first episode, which had no reference to the second half of the premise, you can simply watch it down below:

I'm proud of many videos I have made, and many of the ones I regret were erased from my channel (with a back-up copy in my possession should I ever change my mind), and when it comes to those videos I erased, if I had left them up I sincerely think they would get roughly the amount of views they do now in the form of non-existence.

I have learned how to do good videos by this point, and I am fully aware that my efforts are gaining no reward. I remember years ago, when I first started, when YouTube was more open to letting the unknown channels get attention. I am far from the first person to complain about the fact that this no longer seems to be the case.

I will play devil's advocate, however, for something I do believe is fair. As I do not monetize my videos, I understand why YouTube does not feel the need to give me more attention than a channel they do profit from. YouTube does not make Google any money, it's been stated as much several times, so I do understand why they don't need to bother too hard with someone who does not make them money.

On the other hand, YouTube breaks even for Google, according to the reports. They are not losing Google money, at least as far as I am aware. In that regard, I do think I'm gaining less attention than I and several other unknown channels deserve, and when it comes to myself I am not asking for much. As the thumbnail shows I currently have 26 subscribers, over the course of 4 years. While I would easily appreciate more, I am very proud of the fact that there are people who plan to watch content that I make.

But my views are not reflecting that. Out of my 26 subscribers, I cannot tell how many of them are watching my videos. My view count is terrible, and while I may not be the greatest creator on YouTube, I know I care way more about my quality than other creators who are getting much more attention. I have seen some of the completely hated videos that gain massive attention, and I am just as upset as everyone else who suffered through them while their uncreative makers profit. Be it from the monetizing meaning YouTube pushes their stuff out, or from all of the click-bait that they have in their titles, there is something wrong with certain people who are getting a good deal of views, and a few years ago, myself and other unknowns would have at least been given a little bit of that viewership.

As for my personal complaining, honestly, a lot of that is out of my system. There are a few things I would like to say, but they would be better covered in a post about everything that has been going on with YouTube. The frank reality is, right now I'm luck to get 10 views on a video, and a majority of my older videos got more than that in a week when I first uploaded them. I have gotten better, and I even receive less dislikes, but the algorithm doesn't wish to help me the way I would like it too, and this is true for not just the lesser-known channels, but some of the biggest channels have now started to find out that a good deal of their subscribers aren't even aware of their new videos on plenty of occasions. This is the very reason I now use this blog instead. I don't know how many people read this, as I don't get comments or likes just yet, but I do know that I pay Squarespace every year to have this website and they are helping me out, because I directly paid them. My chances of attention are far better here than there.

I don't dislike YouTube, but I did temporarily give it up.

The next few uploads I did, would be stuff like this:

Neither of these videos were made for YouTube. They are pieces I did for a class, and I recorded them because I simply felt like it. They did better than the stuff I recently made directly for YouTube, so until my channel gains any form of attention, they are all I am planning to do.

I miss doing stuff just for YouTube. At this point in time, I have the footage for a video I was working on for quite some time. When my last video bombed with only one view over the span of currently three months, I realized there wasn't enough reason to care about it. It is shelved until something can be done.

Maybe I'm just on a high horse. I'm complaining that my life isn't working out as well for me as I wish. Well, personally, I've been there before and this doesn't feel like that. After all, this is the only YouTube post I've made on this blog, and I have yet to rant against the system and even played fair. Honestly, I do care, just not enough to get all that mad. Ever since I was a child I have wanted to make other people happy. I wanted to entertain, to make people laugh. Like all artists and creative types, I do want to be well-known, as that means more people can hopefully enjoy what I am doing. YouTube was supposed to be the thing I could do before all of that happened, even help me achieve that, but that possibility is likely dead and I have to face the reality that my channel will only be successful if I'm successful first.

I think time will be on my side, but I needed to face the fact that the current system is technically against me and there wasn't really anything I could do other than go for another outlet as far as web videos. I chose blogging because it allows me to keep writing every week, and besides, there are no other successful forms of video for the internet. Blip crashed and burned, and to speak candidly for a second, I have no f#(*!ng idea how Vimeo works.

But I miss making videos like this:

And I miss being surprised at when a video of mine becomes a success:

But, I've moved on for now. I really do not believe I will ever be the kind of channel to rake in the remarkably big numbers, especially with the system that is currently in place. I'm taking a break from the platform because I know it's current state, but I look forward to a future where I can return and have some fun.

Anyway thanks for watching be sure to like and subscribe it totally helps me out! Share a comment below in the comments, I'll make a video where I read some of them or something everyone likes those! Tune in soon for when I edit parts of Bee Movie because that's a funny thing people are currently doing right now and I may as well completely steal from them for attention instead of watching the video and learning from their success on how to make good content! When I get a million or 2 subscribers maybe I'll even show you my pe-

I was going to say p#$&s because I censored this post and that's funny.